For some people, helping their family can be their highest priority. Other things, including their job, take a back seat to ensuring your family is taken care of.
Redditor Organic_Strike7487 is working as a paramedic, but her family thinks she’s working too hard. When the original poster (OP) chooses work over taking her niece and nephew trick-or-treating, this leads to an argument.
OP isn’t sure if she’s right or wrong for her decision and took her story to the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit to figure things out.
She asked the internet:
“AITA for not taking my niece and nephew out on Halloween?”
There’s a lot more to OP’s story to consider:
“I(32F[emale]) work as paramedic and work 10 hour shifts. We are short-staffed at the moment and I am working the over time that is given.”
“My niece(4F) and nephew(5M[ale]) are all set and ready for going out on Halloween. My sister and BIL work different hours and will reach out to me if I am available.”
“Halloween is coming up and they are traveling Saturday for a funeral and will be returning Monday. They did ask me if I could watch them and I told them that I was working a 10 hour shift Saturday.”
“Sister and BIL think I work too much and don’t spend a lot of time with niece and nephew. Niece and Nephew will be staying with our parents.”
“Three co-workers called out for Sunday and they filled two of the slots. I told them that I would take cover the shift for Sunday.”
“My mother asks me if I could take them out on Halloween. I told them that I could not as I had to work until midnight. She calls me and says that I will be ruining their first Halloween.”
“I tried to explain that work is short staffed and is a priority. My sister texted me a few times calling me a horrible aunt and to change my priorities to my niece and nephew.”
“AITA for not taking my niece and nephew out on Halloween?”
OP is doing her best to help others, and offers to help her sister with the kids when she can. But is she working too much or should her family back off?
Redditors judged OP by including one of the following in their comments:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
OP is doing her best to cover for co-workers, in a job that’s heavily understaffed, and tries to help others. Her family is treating her like a free babysitter and getting upset when she isn’t there, despite it not being her responsibility.
That was the logic commenters had when they decided OP was NTA.
“NTA.”
“Would it be nice if you did it, yes. Are you in any way required to do so, no.”
“Why can’t Grandma and/or Grandpa take them out? Or how about the parent(s) of one of their friends? Why exactly does it absolutely have to be you that does it?” – MogwaiChampion
“NTA. They aren’t your kids, they aren’t your responsibility.”
“Also a big, giant THANK YOU for being a paramedic in these trying and stressful times. Your job is so much more important than getting free candy!!” – TroubleLevel5680
“NTA I…they aren’t your kids. You don’t have kids.”
“This is the point in your life were you can work a lot or go out with your friends and make poor choices.”
“I mean, all offenses to your sister and BIL, but even if you weren’t working on Sunday why would they assume that your first choice in activities on Halloween would be to take their kids trick or treating?”
“(ignoring that I’m joining a friend to take her child trick or treating but I’m long passed 32 so this is now my first choice in activities.)” – rak1882
“I love that your sister and BIL (the actual parents) are not prioritizing the kids’ Halloween. Your parents (the grandparents) are not prioritizing the kids’ Halloween.”
“But you, an aunt who has to work, socially redeeming work at that, are apparently supposed to prioritize these kids when they won’t.”
“LOL. No. You are NTA.” – SlinkyMalinky20
OP answered some comments, providing a little more insight, but it doesn’t change most commenters opinions.
In fact, it mostly reinforces the entitlement her family feels for her time.
OP’s family is kind of the worst.
“I like the part about how your sister and BIL think you need to spend more time with their kids. Translation: they want more free babysitting.”
“NTA. These aren’t your children nor do they need to be your priority.” – This-M3762
“They sometimes will call me right in the middle of the shift to watch the kids.” – Organic_Strike7487 (OP)
“That sounds exactly to me like you need to set more clear boundaries and demand respect if they want to continue getting free babysitting from time to time” – pizzabuttsdrvemenuts
“NTA- Why do both parents have to go to the funeral? One of them should be at home taking care of the kids and taking them to ToT.”
“That’s what happens when you become a parent, especially when there is something going on that’s important to the kids like first time ToT.”
“What’s going to happen if you decide to have your own family? Is your sister going to call you a horrible aunt because you’re spending too much time with your own family and not with your niece and nephew.”
“Your family has some wild expectations of you. I would never have the audacity to shame someone else because they wouldn’t look after my kids.” – kill4kandy
“BIL’s Aunt passed away and my sister is going for support. My sister already has told me many times that I will make a horrible mother because I work too much and do not take time off.”
“I took time off for Christmas, I have a feeling I’ll be asked to babysit.” – Organic_Strike7487 (OP)
It may be too late to change behaviors in her family, but OP should continue to set and enforce her boundaries in what she is and isn’t willing to do.
It’s part of the responsibility of a parent to find someone to watch your children if you have to do something without them, but that doesn’t entitle you to free labor from a family member.