Doctors strongly advise against restrictive diets or severe calorie cuts during puberty for teenagers. At that sge, their bodies need adequate nutrition to support rapid growth, bone development, and hormonal changes.
The primary goal, even if a teen is overweight but not morbidly obese, is to slow weight gain or maintain their current weight throughout puberty while the teen grows taller.
As of 2026, puberty for girls in the United States typically begins between age 8-10 and ends five-six years after it begins, around age 14-16. For boys, puberty begins later, between the ages of 11-14, and ends between 18-20.
Weight gain just before the onset of extreme, rapid growth—generally two years after puberty begins—is not uncommon.
A father turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for feedback after his teen son's weight gain.
FlowFlorent26 asked:
"AITA for telling my wife she’s overreacting about our son’s weight gain?"
The original poster (OP) explained:
"Since my son (16, male) entered puberty, he has started to gain weight. Last February, we took him for a health check and it turned out that he weighed 76 kg and was 1.67 meters tall (or 167 lbs and 5'6)."
"This worried his mom a lot, so since then she has tried to put him on a diet by restricting junk food, making him healthy snacks, and that sort of thing."
"The problem is that, with the exception of soda, which he drinks quite a lot of, he doesn't eat much junk food. It's more that he simply eats larger portions."
"And if you ask me, his weight isn't much of a problem. Yes, he is medically overweight, but he isn't obese. Most men in our family are quite tall, and he's only 16, so once he's through puberty and fully grown, his weight is going to even out."
"Now onto the conflict. Yesterday was my turn to cook, and I made two pizzas for the three of us."
"To my wife, that was too much, and in the middle of the meal she told our son that he 'should slow down and not overeat'. I thought that was rude and an exaggeration, so I told my son that he shouldn't worry and that enjoying food from time to time is fine."
"Anyway, we finished eating soon after that, and once our son went to his room, my wife exploded at me. She said I was undermining her efforts to keep him healthy and that I didn't care about his well-being. I said that she was exaggerating and in the process of giving him an eating disorder."
"After a while, we both cooled off and agreed to keep working on it, but now she's being passive-aggressive and refusing to even talk about it."
The OP summed up why they might be the a**hole in their situation.
"I might have underestimated his weight problem, and undermined the help my wife is trying to give him."
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
- INFO - more information needed
Redditors decided both parents sucked (ESH).
"ESH. Yes, she is overreacting, but I think you are underreacting. 'Quite a lot of' soda is not good—the amount of sugar is insane and definitely not good for a teenager's body."
"And sure, diet versions don't have the sugar, but the sweeteners aren't good either. And yes, it was just one meal out of many, but pizza alone does not have all the things a growing body needs."
"If it's at all possible, I would ask for a referral to a pediatric dietitian or nutritionist so that all of you can get some reliable information about how to fuel his growing body and keep him healthy while getting the calories he needs. You should be focused on maintaining his weight, not pushing him to lose any. Eliminating sugary sodas can help with that." ~ dustynails22
"ESH. I agree and soda is terrible for your teeth regardless of the sugar."
"OP and his wife need to be on the same page with this or the poor kids getting mixed signals."
"Wife will give the kid an eating disorder and OP is allowing bad habits. Being overweight is never healthy and he might grow out of it but he might not." ~ ElectricalInflation
"Overeating is also disordered eating. Kid has two parents endorsing both sides of the spectrum. He will struggle with eating, body image, and regulation for his entire life at this rate. At 16, I’m sure he’s already confused and set up for failure. Parents ought to consult professionals to save the kid from any further harm… mentally or nutritionally."
"My parents were like this OP. I had to relearn as an adult. I spent my childhood and teens chubby and insecure, with painful relationship with food. Absolute waste of my teens and I am not happy with my parents. I’m certainly no crunchy mom, but my kids will be raised to favor fresh foods and a balanced diet. They deserve it, all children deserve to enjoy their childhood." ~ Capable_Elk_770
"Dietitian here! Having balance is key in these type of situations. Great way to help balance out the meal would be having a salad with the pizza to help promote fullness as well as your vitamins and minerals. Pizza can fit in your diet if you can add other things into the meal to meet other food groups/categories."
"I would want to know what 'a lot' of soda looks like as jt can contribute a significant portion of calories that your son might not realize he is consuming. If he doesn’t like water, diet soda or zero sugar soda for flavored water could be a good option."
"Teens do eat more than adults. I don’t think 2 pizzas is too much for 2 adults and a teen, but adding in a salad/other vegetable can be great way to naturally slow down the meal and allow your body to register that you have eaten." ~ Flat-Pie-4115
"I would also like to know what 'a lot' of soda means! Is it a can a day? A full 2 liter? And I don't think pizza is bad in itself, but it's not something you want to eat every day. Adding a salad would definitely help fill them up, but I know a lot of teens (and many adults, unfortunately), won't eat that."
"I don't know how my parents fed four kids. We were starving All. The. Time. Teens need so much more food than many people realize, same with sleep. There is just so much development happening that their bodies need those calories."
"It's not about telling them what they can/can't eat or depriving them of their favorite foods or shaming them. It's about showing them how to choose healthy eating from a young age. I work in early childhood and this is a constant discussion with parents. That would be hard to do when they're already a teenager." ~ KathrynTheGreat
"As a formerly fat teen, ESH except your son. Take his health seriously and don’t bank on YOUR genes winning when it could be from mom’s side. If he has a balanced diet, and he’s eating large portions of whole and unprocessed meals, which with 3 teen nephews seems to me to be quite normal at that age, then the focus should not be dieting."
"It should be on excercise. What are you doing to encourage him to get out and be active? Being healthy is a lifestyle, it’s not let’s hyper focus on food until we are out of the fat zone. You both mean well, but you need to sit down and get on the same page fast."
"You’re giving him inconsistent and contradictory and frankly bad advice. That’s unfair and not helping anyone. Your wife absolutely needs to stop talking about food as inherently good or bad and shaming him for eating."
"Also, zero sugar versions of soda taste more like the originals now that most have moved away from aspartame. If you can't stop buying soda all together, at least opt for no calorie and no sugar versions." ~ Economy_Pineapple647
"Kids tend to chunk up a little before a growth spurt. As long as the doctor was not concerned and he is active, it should not be an issue. Your wife needs to back off. Don’t have soda in the house if it is a concern. Replace it with flavored seltzers or zero sugar versions. But you two need to get on the same page because giving him mixed signals isn't good." ~ Helpful-Science-3937
"ESH. Your wife for pestering the kid while he should be enjoying his meal, and you for acting like his weight gain is no big deal at all because he might at some point even out."
"What he really needs is a sit down to talk about healthy choices and to massively curb his soda intake. Your wife is doing the right thing in restricting junk food and offering healthy options, but shaming him at the dinner table isn't helpful." ~ satinsateensaltine
OP and his wife should follow their son's doctor's advice. If they're unsure how to proceed, they can request a referral to a dietitian. But contradicting each other in front of their son is definitely not the right approach.
