Pregnancy is full of struggles, and for many women, body image is chief among them. So when a Redditor’s sister-in-law made comments about his pregnant wife’s body, things got really tense really fast.
The Original Poster (OP), who goes by jobin720 on the site, wasn’t sure about how he handled the conflict with his sister-in-law, so he went to the AITA (Am I The A**hole) subReddit for perspective.
“AITA for telling my sister-in-law she was being rude?”
“My wife (34 F[emale]) and I (31 M[ale]) are expecting our first child in August. My Sister-in-Law (37 F) lives down the street from us. Last weekend my wife and I went for a walk and stopped by SIL’s house.”
“She told my wife that she looked good in her maternity clothes and that she should continue to wear them after the baby was born because they look so much nicer than what she has been wearing for the past few years.”
“My wife and I used to be fit but we’ve both been struggling with our weight these past few years. My wife isn’t vain but she has a steady career as a professional and has always been very image conscious, especially about her clothes.”
“I instantly saw my wife was hurt by these comments but her sister kept pressing the issue, repeating herself three or four times.”
“I couldn’t hold my tongue any longer so I said ‘That’s rude, if you’re trying to tell her that her clothes look nice just say that, don’t compare them to before and don’t tell her to keep wearing maternity clothes’.”
“SIL immediately goes into the house, then texts my wife about how I made her cry. She said she’d never been spoken to like that and she’s going to keep her distance ‘for a few months’.”
“She even told us to ignore SIL’s birthday next week and if we did anything for her she ‘wouldn’t accept it’. She hasn’t talked to us since.”
OP’s fellow Redditors were then asked to judge who was in the wrong in this scenario using the following acronyms:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Unsurprisingly, they were emphatically not on the sister-in-law’s side.
“Definitely NTA and your SIL sounds like a manipulating jerk. Focus on your wife and baby. Everyone else can sort their own issues out on their own.”
“Your SIL was being rude. There’s nothing wrong with sticking up for your wife. Good job Hubby/Daddy!” —Atzima
“…If she had just said it once, it would have been her stating her opinion. Twice could have been shrugged off as her stating and reinforcing her opinion. Anything more than that, she was looking for a reaction.”
“I wonder if SIL is jealous about the pregnancy. More than likely, she was looking to make Wife feel bad about herself/cry, then write it off as ‘hormones’ to invalidate anyone calling her an AH.”
“So when you called her out instead of Wife reacting, she now has reason to draw attention to herself for how ‘badly’ you treated her. It seems very calculated to me.”
“NTA, OP. Congratulations on the baby, and keep taking good care of your wife.” —StellaLuna108
“NTA. I don’t really understand how what you said could cause her to cry. It was a simple correction. Odd” —s0uld0g
“It’s a classic deflection. She’s making it all about her to distract from the real issues. Toxic people like that are best avoided” —Confident-Broccoli42
“NTA, if she was crying for any reason it’s bc she was rightly called out. Big ups to you for being in tune with your wife & her feelings and sticking up for her” —kshwixt
“NTA – Thank you for sticking up for your wife. SIL sounds manipulative or jealous and is doing what she can to put your wife down.” —cleo4546
“Sounds like the trash took itself out.” —terpischore761
“NTA – SIL was being cruel and petty, refused to take a hint, and now she’s playing the victim–probably trying to cover her a** by spreading rumors about you to anyone who will listen.”
“From the look of things, you’re better off without her. Pregnancy is stressful enough without someone piling on drama.” —doublestitch
“NTA. Good on you for stepping up to defend your wife. She was literally body shaming a pregnant woman! Usually people let comments like those slide because they’re from ‘family’, I’m happy that you took your wife’s side because not many men do!” —Ayisha_abdulk
“NTA. She gave a backhanded complement and ran with it because she’s probably not used to being told off. I always make it a point to stand up to these types of people specifically lol. She probably did cry, but more so out of embarrassment than actual hurt” —silverthorn6
“NTA. Sounds like she wanted to pick a fight so she could avoid the rest of your wife’s pregnancy. Probably because she’s not the center of attention.”
“If you know your wife is particular about clothes, so does her sister, and her sister also knows how to push her (and your) buttons.” —ScammerC
“NTA. She’s ‘never been spoken to like that’ because nobody has ever called her on her BS.” —Aggressive-Sample612
“NTA If she’s never been spoken to like that, ie. called out for bad behaviour, then she’s long overdue. It’s possible she didn’t mean to be hurtful, but she WAS hurtful, so she should apologise. Your wife is lucky to have you in her corner.” —No_Bee7900
After everyone rallied to his side, OP came back to the thread to thank his fellow Redditors for their input and to add a bit more information.
“Thanks everyone for the support! I was fairly certain I was in the right at the time, but as the days dragged on I got less and less sure. I think we’re coming up on two weeks now of the silent treatment.”
“She is usually a nice and kindhearted person but every now and again she does and says stuff that make me wish she wasn’t 10 houses away.”
“Just to clarify something, when my SIL said she had ‘never been spoken to like that before’ she was either exaggerating for effect or she meant she had never been spoken to like that by me, specifically. I know she’s had much worse said to her.”
Hopefully OP’s sister-in-law can learn to keep her negative comments to herself.