When people give warnings or instructions, they are not doing so simply to be mean.
Instead, they are looking out for people’s health and safety.
Even so, countless people still tend to ignore these warnings.
Even more amazingly, when they find themselves facing consequences for their obstinacy, they often blame the very people who tried to warn them.
Redditor Pretzelmamma recently hosted a family gathering.
Upon the arrival of their guests, the original poster (OP) very sternly warned them to avoid doing one specific thing.
Unfortunately, their nephew ignored this warning, resulting in him finding one of his prized possessions in a less-than-hygienic situation.
When the OP’s nephew demanded they replace this item, the OP had no interest in obliging.
Wondering if they were being unreasonable, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for not replacing my nephew’s leather jacket after my dog had an accident on it?”
The OP explained why they had no intention of replacing their nephew’s jacket:
“We have 3 dogs, 1 of which we took in recently when his owner died.”
“He’s nice but prefers quiet and when we have guests he will go upstairs to our bedroom and chill on our bed.”
“Also, he’s only ever had dry food and anything different upsets his stomach which causes a hygiene issue as he has long fur.”
“This weekend we had family over and everyone brought food for a buffet, my 3 brothers, their wives and lots of adult / teen children.”
“We’ve had issues previously where people don’t listen to us about the dogs and sneaking them food is common so as they were coming in I was loudly announcing ‘don’t feed Pickles any treats or human food, anyone caught will be the one upstairs shampooing the poop out of his fur’, My SIL Tracy laughed and made some comment about me being unnecessarily graphic so I pointed out that people hadn’t listened in the past and I was not playing around this time because Pickles was more sensitive than our other dogs.”
“Anyway later on my husband found a piece of sausage roll on the floor upstairs.”
“Nephew Dave (19) admitted he’d tried to make friends with Pickles by giving him food.”
“My husband and I were not happy but everyone else brushed it off as not a big deal.”
“I went up to check on Pickles and that’s when I realized that everyone had put their coats in our room when they arrived.”
“They’d always done this in the past and honestly I never thought to tell them different.”
“Anyway he’d obviously eaten something and got an upset stomach, not wanted to come downstairs with a crowd there so he’d had a small accident, some of which had got on Dave’s leather jacket.”
“He’s never had an accident in the house before.”
“I called my husband and took Pickles into the shower to get cleaned up.”
“People came up to see what was happening and when Dave saw his jacket he was furious, raised voice and red faced accusing me of making the dog do it on purpose to prove a point.”
“We cleaned it off with antibacterial wipes and it was fine, no smell or marks on the leather although obviously for hygiene reasons it would need cleaning properly.”
“Well that was the end of the party, everyone left pretty quickly not wanting to be in the middle of it but Dave and Tracy stayed behind yelling until my brother persuaded them to leave saying we’d ‘sort it out later’.”
“It was a mess but honestly I thought it would blow over but it hasn’t.”
“Dave and Tracy are both texting me saying we need to pay £150 for a new jacket.”
“I keep saying no it was his own fault and I was the one who ended up cleaning up poop.”
“Husband was on my side at first but is wavering, he says we knew they’d ignore us and we should’ve taken more care to put the coats in another room.”
“He said I’m focusing on being technically right, Dave is just a teen and this is not the hill we should die on.”
“We can afford to replace it.”
“Had Pickles chewed his coat I’d replace it in a heartbeat which makes me think maybe IATA.”
“I offered to pay cleaning but that’s not good enough for him.”
“So, AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community firmly stood behind the OP and agreed they were not the a**hole for refusing to buy their nephew a new jacket.
Everyone agreed that Dave very clearly ignored the OP’s warning and should have accepted their offer to pay for the cleaning, which just about everyone felt the OP also wasn’t obligated to do:
“You’re NTA.”
“‘Dave is just a teen’.”
“Is the bar that low now?”
“A teenager understands don’t feed the dog people food because it upsets his stomach and causes a mess.”
“He deliberately disregarded that and caused your dog unnecessary discomfort and you the trouble of cleaning up the mess.”- Dittoheadforever
“NTA.”
“19 years old is old enough to understand that actions have consequences.”- Snarkyraccoons
“NTA.”
“If anything, tell Dave you forgive him for making Pickles sick, and he’s lucky he didn’t have to foot the vet bill.”
“He was instructed not to feed the dog.”
“He did.”
“How is any consequence your responsibility.”- EwwDavvidd
“NTA.”
“What part of ‘don’t feed the dog any treats or human food’ do they not understand?”
“You made it a point to make sure everyone knew not to feed the dog and even warned them that they would have to pay should he have an accident.”
“This is what you call Karma.”
“Dave didn’t want to listen, sweet pup had an accident on his leather jacket.”
“Maybe next time he will listen.”
“Although I highly doubt it.”- SnooSprouts6437
“NTA.”
“What stands out most to me, here, is the EXTREMELY AHishness of Dave and all your guests that you cannot trust them to follow your expressed statements regarding the pets.”
“What if the pet actually had something more than a sensitive stomach and faced real medical harm as a result of your guests all thinking the proper thing to do is ignore a pet owner?”
“This should cause you to decide you cannot trust your family as guests in your home and not welcome there anymore.”
“Whether you decide to replace the jacket to keep the peace or not, I could go either way.”
“You DO NOT owe it to him but it might help you make your point.”
“Like – here’s the money but by the way, you’re not welcome at our home any longer.”-owls_and_cardinals
“op:Don’t feed the dog.”
“It upsets the stomach and he might poop and It’ll get all over his fur and if you did it you will clean it up.”
“Dave :oh it doesn’t matter to me I’ll feed him anyway.”
“Op: someone fed the dog. He had an accident in the house. I cleaned them up so I didn’t make you clean them up.”
“Dave: The dog pooped on my coat you owe me money.”
“The real world when the owner says don’t feed the dog, you don’t feed the dog.”
“And a little bit of dog feces on a leather coat won’t hurt anything.”
“Get a leather cleaner.”
“Rub it on the spot.”
“You’re fine.”
“I would do two things in the future if I was op first, not give the sister-in-law or Dave a penny for the coat either to replace or clean.”
“And second, I wouldn’t invite those two over to my house again.”
“NTA, and remember sh*t happens.”- Even_Enthusiasm7223
“NTA.”
“‘Just a teen’ but he’s 19 y/o.”
“The instructions weren’t difficult at all for someone that age.”
“However, Tracey is NOT a teen.”
“But, op, since some people chose not to listen (literally or figuratively), you should take extra steps next time to protect your babies.”- AilshaBilaiO_o
“NTA for the consequences.”
“I do agree you should have informed everyone to put their coats elsewhere tho.”
“But its really not a big deal.”- ChrisInBliss
“NTA.”
“You warned everyone, he did iit anyway.”
“Something about actions having consequences.”- Artistic-Apple-1005
“Ehhh nope NTA.”
“If he has an issue with it, he can buy himself a new jacket.”
“You explicitly told everyone not to feed the dog, yet he went behind your back and did it.”
“He’s 19, not 4.”
“He knew the consequences of feeding the dog but didnt think the consequences would effect him.”-ConsciousNectarine9
When anyone is nice enough to host us in their home, one would assume that the very least anyone could do is follow instructions.
If anything, Dave should consider himself lucky that the OP didn’t follow through with their word and make Dave clean Pickles.
One would like to think that Dave learned his lesson, but seeing as he couldn’t follow the OP’s clear instructions, one can only guess that this isn’t the case…