Everyone loves their pets, but sometimes kids and pets don’t mix.
This often turns into a messy situation…. with some precarious health concerns.
But tough decisions have to be made.
Making priorities is never easy.
Redditor No-Switch-2590 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback, so naturally, she came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
She asked:
“AITA for rehoming my boyfriend’s cats?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (25 F[emale) live with my B[oy]F[riend] (26 M[ale]), between us we have three kids, and I am currently pregnant.”
“The other children are not as relevant to the story, but his boy is 8, his girl is 5, and my daughter is just about 3.”
“My boyfriend has three cats from his previous relationship that his ex basically dropped on us after taking custody of them, deciding suddenly one day she no longer wanted any of them.”
“Another was given to us by his mother to attempt to rehabilitate an ongoing deification outside of the litter box issue.”
“I am currently 39 weeks pregnant, and two of the cats have been crapping either on the floor, in clothes that have just been washed, in all of the children’s sheets and comforters, and the breaking point this evening was in the new baby’s playpen that I have literally just set up in our living room.”
“Like, not even joking, maybe two hours before.”
“My boyfriend complained about me leaving things on the floor, as that’s what makes his male cat think it’s okay to s**t and/or p**s all over everything, while the female that we got from his mother will indiscriminately s**t all up and down the hallways, and right in front of litter boxes, she does not pee on anything.”
“I have tried everything, changing litter brand type and texture, isolation training, going to the vet to check for illness, everything.”
“It’s been hundreds of dollars in expensive litters, scent packs, equal to the amount of cats + 2 extra litter boxes and multiple vet visits with extensive testing on both of them.”
“I’m to the point where I crate them every time they do it immediately just to try to avert the inevitable.”
“I know it’s terrible, but I am so stressed myself from it, and some days I just can’t deal with it.”
“The breaking point, as previously stated, has me furious.”
“I understand new babies can be stressors for cats, but I am not, will not tolerate them pissing and shi**ing on my baby boys’ things and territory marking or whatever the hell it is at this point.”
“I’m so done with it.”
“I love animals so much, but over the past six months, I feel like I’m going insane.”
“Stepping in sh*t almost every night when I get up a million times to pee, cleaning it off of everything while my boyfriend works, mopping so many times, sometimes twice daily with enzyme cleaners to try and remove the smell from everything so they don’t do it anymore, which has never worked.”
“I have come to literally hate these two cats, which may make me an a**hole, but I honestly don’t give a f**k at this point.”
“I feel like once the baby is here in the next two weeks, they may end up directly pissing or shitting on him.”
“My plan is to rehome or take them to a good shelter nearby, not behind my boyfriend’s back, but if he puts up a fight about it, I may have to.”
“I feel like s**t about it, but at this point it’s affecting my mental health and potentially a danger to my soon-to-be newborn.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“Am I the a**hole for rehoming or surrendering my boyfriend’s cats who refuse to use a litter box 90% of the time?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
“You certainly would be an a-hole if you did it behind his back.”
“Give an ultimatum and follow through.”
“Take your kids and go stay somewhere else until he finds them new homes.”
“Not ideal, but definitely the better alternative.” ~ Left_Set_5610
“NTA. The cat from his mother needs to go back to his mother ASAP.”
“Neither you nor your boyfriend is a cat whisperer who can fix that cat’s issues.”
“The other two cats should be taken to a shelter… unless he has friends or family that can take them in.”
“Tell him this is a firm boundary of yours.”
“This is non-negotiable.”
“It’s because he hasn’t had to constantly clean up after the cats that he’s so laid back about it.” ~ WhatInTheA**Pepper
“Make sure you tell him about how you shouldn’t be exposed to cat s**t while you’re pregnant.”
“It’s very high risk for the baby! I love my cat and I wouldn’t give him up for anything ever.”
“But these aren’t your cats, and it’s not fair or reasonable that they have become entirely your responsibility.” ~ patient-panther
“You should not be cleaning cat poop AT ALL while you’re pregnant, by the way, because cat poop can contain toxoplasmosis.”
“Make your boyfriend clean it, every time, for the sake of the baby.”
“Wake him up at 1 am to clean the s**t and also clean your feet, and then again at 3 am and 5 am.”
“Every time it happens.”
“If that doesn’t get the message through to him that something needs to be done, nothing will.” ~ PoisonPlushi
“This is a safety issue.”
“Not only is OP about to give birth literally any minute and should not be carrying anything (due to muscle relaxation, risk of back issues, and pelvic floor issues), but cat poop carries a risk (albeit very small if these are indoor cats) of toxoplasmosis.”
“She should not be handling any of that either.”
“I agree, she shouldn’t be rehoming the cats behind his back, but she shouldn’t be in this situation in the first place!”
“I have 4 cats.”
“I truly believe all the changes in the household are what are making the cats have bad behavior.”
“Suddenly, things are off limits, there’s a lot of new stuff with new smells, I think they can also sense pregnancy.”
“My husband went out of his way to clean up after the cats, and we put plastic over everything for the baby.”
“Once the baby got here and started using the things, the cats calmed down and left it alone.”
“We kept all animals away from the baby for two weeks before slowly starting to introduce them.”
“The dog was last because she can’t control herself when she’s excited, and she goes outside.”
“Everyone is fine.”
“It’s important to remember that even animals get stressed out during changes.” ~ oO0Kat0Oo
“NTA. Besides the obvious problems, it is incredibly dangerous for pregnant women to handle cat waste/litter due to the risk of toxoplasmosis.” ~ Purple_Bowling_Shoes
“You can’t do this behind his back.”
“That would make YTA.”
“What you can do is set a boundary and let him decide.”
“You and the baby are not going to live with the cats who poo everywhere.”
“He gets to decide whether the cats go or you go.”
“I usually discourage ultimatums, but honestly, this should have been done as soon as you got pregnant, with the danger of toxoplasmosis.”
“Pregnant women are never supposed to be handling cat poo because of the danger it represents to both them and their unborn children.”
“It continues to be a danger to newborns until they become old enough to have a fully functioning immune system.”
“So NTA for wanting the cats gone, but don’t do it yourself.” ~ KaliTheBlaze
“I was most intrigued by the ‘ongoing deification’ issue.”
“Alas, all we have are shi**y cats.”
“Absolutely NTA.”
“At 39 weeks, this is intolerable.”
“Definitely ship your husband off to the nearest shelter.”
“Any man who would subject his partner to this behavior deserves to be re-homed. Pronto.” ~ IllustriousBowler259
“They must be rehomed.”
“Tell him it’s you or them.”
“He has ALREADY put you and the baby at risk of tox from cat feces.”
“This is serious.”
“Until then, pick a room with a door, linoleum or tile floor that can hold litter boxes, cats, beds, and food/water.”
“Put them in there and keep them there.”
“If they can’t use the litter box, they haven’t earned the right to roam the house.”
“That is only for animals that don’t mess.”
“My niece had to do this with a foster cat who wouldn’t use the box.”
“She would sit in there with him during the day for long stretches, but he wasn’t allowed into the apt until he started using the box.”
“It took weeks.”
“Luckily, she worked from home and could do some work from that room.”
“Your husband can visit them there until he finds a home.”
“It’s either that or they take their chances outside.”
“You cannot have all this cat feces and urine all over while pregnant.”
“You just can’t.”
“Many don’t have symptoms, and it can cause birth defects.”
“Have you been tested for this?”
“If not, talk to your ob-gyn.”
“It’s just a blood test.”
“He either needs to do the work with them or give them up.” ~ RazzmatazzOk2129
“He’s being incredibly selfish to expect you to deal with this.”
“It sounds disgusting and unhygienic, and it’s making a huge amount of extra work for you.”
“Blaming you for leaving things on the floor is also nonsense.”
“You have more important things to worry about than making sure the floor is clear for his cat, like looking after 3 kids and preparing for a 4th.”
“NTA… for rehoming them, but don’t do it behind his back.”
“Tell him that either the cats go, or he must stay at home to clean up after them.” ~ Moose-Live
Reddit is with you, OP.
Your BF needs to step up.
Nothing against the cats, but the baby has to come first.
There’s too great a health risk involved.
Try to stay calm and carry on.