Never involve money with something you know nothing about. I’m not sure where or when I got that advice, but it’s held up.
I’m no expert in real estate or the stock market, so I’ve never invested in either without consulting experts and doing ample research of my own. It’s too easy to lose a lot of money in either when you wing it.
A family that failed to do their due diligence on real estate property values before making multiple deals now regrets that decision.
The person who pointed out the error of their ways turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback after the fallout.
ZestyGolf7654 asked:
“AITA for tearing a family apart over money?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“My girlfriend’s father had a business which was started by his great grandfather back in the 50s and passed through to different members of his family. His father eventually ended up being sole owner after buying out the others.”
“The last person he bought out was his brother to whom he paid about $20,000 back in the early 80s. This business did not generate much money, so he left it to become a grocery store manager while renting out the commercial property.”
“When he passed, he left the property to his wife, my girlfriend’s mother. She (the mother) has been receiving rent, about $2,800 a month, but it’s barely enough to cover taxes, insurance, and maintenance costs.”
“In most years, she takes home around $5,000.”
“She wants to sell it for about $350,000 and use the money to travel and see family then move into a retirement community. She’s not rich and is basically living off of social security and measly rental income.”
“My girlfriend asked my opinion since I’m experienced with land and property, so I told her I thought the asking price was too low for a commercial property sitting on an acre of land in the middle of town.”
“She said that’s what it’s worth according to their property tax. Apparently throughout the entire history of the property, the family had been using the tax assessment to determine the price of buying in and out of the business.”
“I told her the tax assessment and property value are two different things, so I sent my appraiser out and he came back with an appraisal of about $1.2 million. They were shocked and didn’t think that was an accurate price until they started getting offers after it was listed.”
“After some bidding, they came to an agreement with a buyer for almost $1.5 million. The closing is next week.”
“When their family found out, things exploded. Everyone who’s still alive thought they got ripped off for the past buyouts, some dating back to the 60s.”
“They want their fair share of the selling price, but that’s almost impossible because we’re talking about a dozen people with some owning half of the business at some point.”
“Now the family her mother was wanting to visit are threatening to sue. It’s been stressful on my girlfriend and she’s taking it out on me.”
“Last night she told me that things might have been better if I didn’t bring up the appraisal, since all it did was tear her family apart.”
The OP summed up their situation.
“I advised my girlfriend’s mother to get an appraisal on a property she’s selling and now she’s getting much more money than she thought she would.”
“She’s near the end of her life and the family she wanted to visit now hate her and are threatening to sue.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA).
“Your girlfriend is being ridiculous. You stopped her mother being sold short on price.
“And so is the family. They were paid what everyone thought it was worth. Jealousy is not a good thing.”
“They will get nowhere suing now. NTA.” ~ Individual_Metal_983
“Their case is, Your Honor, I sold something without doing any due diligence and now that I realized that was a stupid idea, I’d like you to fix it for me’.” ~ knightguy04
“Relatives be greedy when money is around. Girlfriend thinks weird that this is your fault.”
“Tell the mother to go no contact and travel out of the country (whilst not telling anyone about her money) to her hearts content and then buy into a retirement community in a state far away from relatives.”
“You are so NTA. Your girlfriend’s family are a__holes.” ~ dodoatsandwiggets
“I want to add that your girlfriend asked your advice, you gave it, and now she’s ‘taking it out on you’.”
“I’m not sure exactly what that means in this context, but I can’t think of any situation where it’s warranted based on the info you’ve given. NTA.” ~ Jagasaur
“And the most recent buyout was apparently 40 years ago, demanding current market price now is completely absurd. NTA.” ~ shelwood46
“They have no case and they’ll be wasting their money.” ~ Altruistic_Isopod_11
“NTA…Things change over decades, including property values. Those relatives are simply using ancient history to justify their lingering greed.” ~ RoyallyOakie
“Besides, even if they did list the property for $350k, surely there would have still been a bidding war or multiple generous offers on the property.”
“They may not have gotten to a selling price as high as what they got, but they still would have walked away with a nicer chunk of change than they were expecting. This problem would have happened with or without OP’s input.” ~ jessthefancy
“Plus, lots of places assess property for taxes and then don’t update it that often because it is expensive and time consuming. So a lot of places USED to have reasonable valuations, mostly in line with their tax assessments, until at some point the area had a boom or whatever.”
“NOW the value is out of whack, but that doesn’t mean the price in the 80s wasn’t reasonable. This family is being insane.”
“Also, who in their right mind is considering selling (or buying) property without getting an appraisal? No one assisting with these sales ever suggested/required the family get an appraisal?” ~ AnafromtheEastCoast
“NTA. Literally all you did was point out that the property is likely now valued highly and help them reach that determination – you helped make sure your GF’s mother wasn’t another in a potentially long line of people who were underpaid for the property.”
“That said, it is NOT clear what other people would be owed here. It’s been in your GF’s parents’ possession for 40 years or more and frankly it just seems way too late for people to be bringing these half-baked claims of having been scammed.”
“Anyone at any point of their ownership could have had it appraised, and it is possible that everyone was indeed fairly compensated at each hand-off. These are just money hungry folks coming out of the woodwork.”
“Your GF should NOT be taking anything out on you. They could have chosen to list the property for a lesser amount with or without your involvement. It actually seems pretty sh*tty, to me, for her to put ANY blame on you for this.” ~ owls_and_cardinals
“NTA. It would be ridiculous to blame you for anything. All you did was provide factual information. You’re not responsible for anyone else’s bad behavior as a result of that information.” ~ Allaboutbird
“NTA. For one thing, you were directly *asked* for your opinion. You didn’t insert yourself into anything. It was the mother’s decision to act on the information. Not yours.”
“I’d advise her to get an attorney, though. And if the relatives sue, direct them to the attorney. She should not speak to the relatives about the subject again.” ~ stroppo
“If it was a big secret that grandpa ripped off all his family to amass this ‘fortune’ (that didn’t actually make any money), I could see people being upset that you told everyone the secret. That would assume grandpa told OP, and OP was supposed to keep it a secret. Which is all laughably absurd.”
“The value of the business has been constantly changing over the last 75 years. People came to an agreement about their respective buyouts.”
“The third guy that started Apple didn’t expect billions in the 2000s just because he sold out for a few thousand dollars.”
“I’m sure if grandpa had run this company into the ground, or if the EPA found $2M worth of environmental cleanup that bankrupted him, the extended family wouldn’t be writing checks for their former stake in the business. NTA.” ~ stevesie1984
“NTA. This family seems to have a shared trait of being bad at math and business, but you’ve done a massive favor to your in-laws and, by extension, likely your wife and your own direct family.”
“All those greedy extended family members were happy to sell their shares for nickles decades ago and should seek their own therapy to deal with their jealousy and entitlement.” ~ Electrical-Tie-5158
“NTA at all. No one in her family knows how real estate works. You can’t be Johnny come lately and try to get a piece of something you don’t even own. They all had the ability to get an appraiser and didn’t.”
“Also what a shock that something is worth a ton more 40 years later. That’s the point of real estate. Your girlfriend should be thanking you. Sorry you’re dealing with this. Your girlfriend is not being fair at all.” ~ TrainingScared1705
“NTA. Any single one of them could have chosen to have the property value assessed at any point in time before selling their portion.”
“But what they are forgetting is that it wasn’t worth anywhere near that much in the 80’s, and the only way to recoup the money is to sell.”
“The property would not still be in the family at this point. The individual who held on to it the longest is going to be the one who makes the most profit from selling it.”
“And that’s the way life is, and they are being unethical as hell.”
“Point out to her that they cannot win a lawsuit based on a sale that took place nearly fifty years ago, and if they make the attempt, she can instruct her lawyer to counter sue for the costs incurred in defending her case.”
“In fact, tell her to go talk to a lawyer about this – at this point, even a few thousand is going to be worth the piece of mind that’s going to give her.” ~ KrofftSurvivor
There’s a saying about no good deed. This seems like a perfect example.