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Guy Livid After His 4-Year-Old Stepson Isn’t Invited To Older Brother’s Childfree Wedding

Father walking up driveway with son

Invites to weddings can get tricky.

More and more weddings have become childfree.

Not because people hate kids, but because adults want to get crazy without having to babysit.

This can cause a lot of friction with certain parents.

It’s a sensitive topic.

Case in point…

Redditor teweddinthr6345 wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

He asked:

“AITA for not wanting to go to my brother’s wedding because my stepson isn’t invited?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“I (M[ale] 28) have been with my fiancée (F[emale] 30) for a year an a half.”

“I have a stepson (4) that I adore and treat as my own.”

“My older brother’s wedding is soon.”

“I was intending on going but after I found out that my stepson was not invited, we started having issues.”

“My brother explained that it’s the nature of the wedding they chose which is child free but my fiancée was upset that this rule was forced on family as well.”

“She got into arguments with my brother and his fiancée and ended up deciding to not go to the wedding.”

“As a result I called my brother and told I no longer want to come after what happened.”

“He began arguing saying my fiancée is the one being unreasonable and now has ‘convinced’ me to miss his wedding.”

“I told him that this is just me supporting my family after the way he and his fiancée treated them.”

“His fiancée said they don’t owe us anything and that this is a wedding rule that applied to everyone.”

“I said ‘fine then I’m not coming.'”

“My brother is pissed.”

“My parents are calling me unreasonable for being willing to miss my only sibling’s wedding and basically let a woman I’ve only known for a year an half drive a wedge between us.”

“They said if I go through with this then I might lose my brother, who’s my support and comfort forever, and so much damage and hurt will come out of this.”

“I stopped responding to them but members of extended family are saying that me and my fiancée are creating the problem trying to control my brother’s wedding.”

“So AITA?”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP WAS the A**hole.

“YTA. Welp, I’m sure your brother was going to find out how little you care about him sooner or later. I hope he remembers and acts accordingly.”  ~ six_242

“YTA. Your stepson wasn’t targeted – it’s a CHILD FREE wedding, which is becoming more and more the norm given how some people allow their children to act.”

“There is NO logic to getting irritated that family children are not excluded from the rule.”

“Since the majority of wedding guests ARE family, what is the point of making a wedding child-free, but then excluding almost all guests from the rule?”

“That would make NO sense. NONE.”

“This had NOTHING to do with your stepson – but you and your fiancée tried to make it personal.”

“Since I cannot believe you found your fiancé’s gaslighting (trying to pretend children of family should all be entitled to attend regardless of the rules) to be an actual legitimate argument.”

“I can only assume that you chose to back up her ridiculous position to prove your loyalty to her and the boy (rather than actually believing she had any real leg to stand on).”

“I’m glad your brother is finding out how quick you are willing to shank him to validate your position in your own relationship. YTA. Huge.”  ~ myhairs0nfire2

“Reading the OP’s question I was confused because I just knew this was going to end with his fiancée being excluded because she’s not official family.”

“But it didn’t. It’s a child free wedding.”

“I find that peculiar, but I find the strident fighting to include a small child at a child free event very peculiar.”

“The truth is that your fiancée tried to dictate the terms of your brother’s wedding and was rebuffed.”

“Then she escalated it to a level that would make it hard for the bride and groom to want her at their nuptials at all.”

“So you decide to jump in as a show of loyalty to a person who wanted to dictate the guest list of their wedding.”

“Come on bruh. YTA, your parents and extended family are correct.”

“You’d better get a handle on yourself and your fiancée’s expectations and interactions with the outside world because you still have to live in it.”  ~ soleil_brillante

“I honestly read this expecting it to be one of those ‘my fiancée’s child was not invited cause he’s not my bio child’ but no, it’s a CHILD FREE wedding!!!'”

“The entitlement and quite frankly, stupidity, on the OP’s part is actual insanity.”

“And that the fiancé could gaslight you to believing it was some big personal attack?!”

“I cannot with these people.”

“I’ve never facepalmed harder.”

“YTA obviously. Wow.” ~ vancitymala

“I went to a friend’s wedding, and the amount of children running around and screaming damn near gave me a migraine.”

“That sealed the deal that I want a childfree wedding.”

“I want kids of my own, and I don’t mind playing with my younger cousins, but by God I don’t want them running, screaming and creating chaos on my wedding day.”

“That’s stressful enough as is. OP, YTA.”  ~ galaxyveined

“But but… OP is SPECIAL and should be EXCLUDED from having to follow RULES that everyone else does because of DNA.”

“Don’t we understand that?”

“OP, give yourself a gold star sticker for making things all about you, get a sitter like a normal person and go to your brother’s wedding.”

“Sit there, smile, and stfu unless spoken to.”

“Stop letting your fiancée’s narcissism rub off on you. It’s not about your fiancée either.”

“No kids means NO kids.”  ~ EvenOutlandishness88

“Honestly, it seems quite clear that OP’s title is intentionally misleading, because it made it seem like his stepson (he’s not even his stepson YET) was being excluded.”

“It’s a child-free wedding, no children are going?”

“So OP is just being an entitled a**hole trying to demand people change their wedding just to cater to him.”

“And his soon-to-be wife sounds insufferable as well.”

“YTA OP, you’re going to destroy your relationship with your brother if you don’t drop the tantrum immediately.”  ~ Tricky-Flamingo-7491

“Normally, I would say ‘If you’re going to make a rule that restricts the guest list, you can’t be mad if people decide not to come.'”

“If it had been too onerous for OP and his fiancee to get childcare to attend and they bowed out, it would be totally reasonable.”

“Instead OP and his hair trigger fiancee invented a grievance and made a huge friggin’ production out of how his brother ‘deliberately’ targeted ‘his family,’ which is just mind boggling.”

“What the hell dude?”

“Have you always been thicker than a block of ice? YTA totally.”  ~ Jjustingraham

“YTA as well as your fiancée who is an entitled manipulative woman.”

“I suspect that your brother will experience ‘massive’ schadenfreude at the shenanigans that your future bridezilla will pull if she is this entitled about a child free wedding that – gasp – excludes a child.”

“Not even a shade of gray – if the ‘child’ were a teenager then perhaps it might be different.”

“But a four year old is exactly the reason that people have child free weddings because what four year old would be perfectly behaved through a ceremony AND not cause havoc at a reception.”

“Most four year olds do not react well to strange loud situations especially when their schedules are out of whack.”

“Between travel time; the ceremony, the noise; the people, the lack of rest and nap time – all of this inevitably results in some form of breakdown.”  ~ Jujulabee

“I’d make the same decision should I marry again.”

“YTA and the entitlement you and your fiancée have is ridiculous.”

“Many weddings are child free and for good reason.”

“Both of you need to get a grip here.”

“He’s your only sibling and you’re being manipulated by your fiancée to miss his wedding.”

“Get a freaking babysitter and be a decent human and brother.”

“If your fiancée is going to make such a stink about it and refuse to go, you need to go without her. The world isn’t her way or the highway.”  ~ legeekycupcake

“YTA… feel free to stay home.”

“It will probably be better without you.”

“But this situation is completely your fiancées doing and is meant to drive a wedge between you and your family.”

“Your almost-stepson is not being excluded because he’s not technically family which would be a completely valid reason to skip the wedding.”

“It’s because he’s still a child and there will not be ANY children at the wedding.”  ~ kimmie1223

“YTA.  I am sorry but childfree means childfree and: a 4 year old will be bored to hell and beyond during a wedding, especially if they’re the only one.”  ~ AlcoholicCocoa

“Your brother is allowed to have a child free wedding and you’re allowed not to go if you aren’t able to bring who you’d like.”

“HOWEVER… Your fiancée is TA for demanding special treatment from people she has barely known a year.”

“You will be TA if you allow her entitled behavior to drive a wedge between you and your family.”  ~ DakiLapin

Well OP, Reddit is pretty clear on its thoughts.

It’s your brother’s wedding.

Maybe everyone can have a calm chat with sensible reasoning before it’s too late.

Good luck.