It’s always nice to receive a loving gesture that makes a person feel cared about and seen.
But some people can’t always tell the difference between receiving a gift… and stealing another person’s property.
Assuming something is free or meant for one person can make for some uncomfortable situations.
Redditor cocokoh wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so they came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
They asked:
“AITA for not giving my friend one of the freebies from my skincare order?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“So I ordered a bunch of stuff during a skincare sale and they were doing this promo where if you spent over a certain amount, they gave you three ‘mystery gifts.’”
“I didn’t know what they were gonna be but I was excited because I’ve been broke and haven’t treated myself in a while.”
“When the box came, I opened it with my friend there and the gifts were actually kind of nice?”
“A lip mask, a jade roller, and this little overnight cream I’ve been wanting to try.”
“I was like ‘OMG cute’ and set them aside with the rest of my stuff.”
“Then my friend just casually picks up the lip mask and goes, ‘Oh this is so nice, thanks for saving this for me.’”
“I laughed cause I thought she was joking but she was literally putting it in her purse.”
“I said wait no, I didn’t say you could have that, and she goes, ‘Okay chill, it’s just a freebie.’”
“I told her yeah it was free, but it still came with my order, and I was kind of looking forward to using it.”
“She got all weird and said I was being stingy and that ‘if you didn’t pay for it, it’s not even a real gift.”
‘I didn’t even know how to respond to that.”
“I’m not mad. I just feel kind of awkward now, and like maybe I overreacted about something small?”
“But also… it was mine?”
The OP was left to wonder:
“So… AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. Taking something given to someone else just because it was free is wild, and theft.”
“Your friend’s toxic side is showing.”
“This would make me reexamine our whole association if it happened to me.”
“What else does she feel entitled to?”
“What other ways does she play the innocent when she’s the villain?” ~ Elegant_Bluebird_460
“NTA! She did even say gimme or can I have it.”
“She just took it like it belong to her.”
“It’s not hers to take.”
“She’s a thief and you need to reconsider whether or not she is a friend.” ~ Illustrious_Craft413
“Your GIFT WITH PURCHASE!!!”
“I used to work a looooong time ago in cosmetics sales and nobody got a gift if they didn’t buy the requisite amount!”
“Tell her to go and shoplift at the store. NTA.” ~ Ok-Pomegranate-3018
“NTA. A free sample like that is usually given because you spent a dollar amount.”
“That means it wasnt ‘free.'”
“It required purchasing those items to get it.”
“I say this because some people see free and assume it has no value but it isnt the same.”
“Technically, the company reviewed its profit margins and felt that they overcharged you so much on the items you bought that they could afford to give you something extra, and it wouldn’t affect their bottom line.”
“Sorry your friend is a pain.”
“Keep your gifts.” ~ Hot-Adhesiveness-438
“NTA. Your ‘friend’ is the a**hole.”
“Your stuff is your stuff, whether you paid for each specific item or received it in some other way.”
“What she did was outrageous.”
“You did nothing wrong and your response was reasonable and respectful.”
“Yes, it was yours.”
“It is yours. Not hers.” ~ NotoriousSJV
“You had to pay a certain amount to even get the lip mask, so you still paid for it.”
“She didn’t even ask, just straight up tried to put it in her purse.”
“I’d watch your possessions closely around her.”
“This reminds me of a toddler when playing with toys: ‘You’re not using it right this second, so it’s mine.'”
“Definitely NTA.” ~ Clean_Assistant9027
“You ARE being selfish and that is OKAY.”
“You are allowed to want things for yourself, especially when you pay for them, but wanting to keep something given to you for free is also OKAY.”
“Even though I would argue along with everyone else in here that this ‘free gift’ was not actually free and it was a part of YOUR order.”
“Your ‘friend’ is also being selfish.”
“The difference is, she’s trying to be selfish with someone else’s stuff.” ~ b1tchf1t
“‘If you didn’t pay for it, it’s not even a real gift.'”
“But you did pay for it.”
“Which is why the company GIFTED you those items.”
“Her logic makes absolutely no sense.”
“NTA by the way.”
“That girl is acting weirdly entitled to your things.” ~ UzuiTengensWife
Also OP did pay for it. It wasn’t “free,” it’s priced into their margins.
“You know when you buy a thing of detergent or something, and it says ‘30% BONUS!’ and part of the packaging is a different color at the top, so it looks like they made it bigger?”
“Okay well have you ever seen a package next to it on the shelf with the ‘bonus’ portion missing for the same price?”
“Of course not.”
“You’re not actually getting anything for free.”
“And even if you were, imagine if you had a friend who came over every time you did your shopping and took the ‘bonus’ portion of anything you bought that’s marketed that way. Unhinged.” ~ BEES_IN_UR_A**
“NTA. Technically it wasn’t free because you had to spend X amount of dollars to receive the free gifts.”
“If you went to a burger joint together and you both wanted burgers and fries then saw they had a special buy a burger get the fries for free would you let her take your fries since they were ‘free?'”
“Same difference.” ~ Aylasar
“NTA. Just because something is free doesn’t make it public property.” ~ buffandcoke
“NTA Your ‘friend’ sounds incredibly entitled.”
“The item wasn’t free, the ‘3 mystery gifts’ were part of the wider order that you paid for.”
“Does she have a history of this kind of behavior?” ~ ghostkneetremor
“NTA. You did pay for it.”
“That company isn’t your friend or benefactor.”
“They gave you ‘gifts’ as part of the order you paid for and as a way to keep you a loyal customer.”
“You paid a higher price for the stuff you bought to cover the cost of the stuff you didn’t choose for yourself. “
“You absolutely paid for those gifts.”
“But what if it had been a gift?”
“Would she feel entitled to a sweater your grandma knitted for you, because you didn’t pay for it?” ~ CuriousTiktaalik
“NTA. If she can ask, you can refuse with a clear conscience.”
“You had no plan to give her anything.”
“Maybe the lesson is to not open mail in front of her.” ~ No_Philosopher_1870
“NTA. Free or not, it came with your order.”
“She didn’t pay for it, you did.”
“Acting like she’s entitled to it just because it was a bonus is weird.”
“You didn’t overreact.”
“You set a normal boundary, and she made it awkward.” ~ costcodount
“NTA – it is yours, and you get to keep it.”
“She doesn’t get to grab it just because it was free.”
“If she wants a freebie, she can place her own order.” ~ Sylvi2021
“One of the flaws in her (and your) thinking is they aren’t free.”
“Those so-called freebies are baked into all pricing, and the whole reason is to get people to buy more than they otherwise would.”
“You most definitely paid for them.” ~ Saberise
“NTA. She didn’t expect you to say No to her ‘subtle’ demand.”
“She was trying to push you into giving her your freebie.” ~ mphflame
“NTA. That was very entitled of her to try and take possession of your property.”
“I don’t care if it was free, found, traded or paid for, it’s not hers to claim.” ~ verminiusrex
“She gaslightled OP.”
“I mean, she literally stole from her and then tried to shame her friend into thinking she’s the one who was being unreasonable!”
“That’s some master manipulator s**t right there. In my opinion, that’s the real issue here.”
“Forget about all this nonsense where you’re wondering if you (OP) overstepped your bounds.”
“Instead you should deal with this so-called friend of yours who has so little regard or respect for you that she tried to con you into thinking she’s actually owed something of yours just because she freaking wants it!”
“Ask yourself if this is a one-off event or if this is her way.”
“That’s the only question you need to answer before deciding if she remains in your life.” ~ KathyOverAndOut
“NTA… she literally went to steal from you and had the nerve to call you stingy??”
“That’s not a friend.” ~ miz_moon
“NTA in the slightest.”
“And it’s not free, you got it because of the amount of actual money you spent with them.”
“She was acting very entitled.” ~ TresWhat
“NTA. You did pay for it, they didn’t just send you a package, it was part of your order.”
“If you hadn’t paid for the other stuff, that free stuff wouldn’t have come.” ~ TyrOdinson89
“NTA. The whole point of promos like that is to get you to spend extra in one order, then if you like the gifts, hopefully you’ll buy more of those products.”
“Truthfully I don’t even consider them to be free gifts, because it’s conditional for you to get them, usually by spending way more than you usually would in the first place.”
“That’s your hard earned money you’re spending, and the company is rewarding you.”
“It’s super rude to feel entitled to something she didn’t put any money into getting.”
“It’d be one thing if she gave you money and asked you to order her something from the site as well as a way to help get you to the order amount needed for the free gifts.” ~ jmc4297
“NTA. Even if you would be willing to give it to her, her behavior regarding this is terrible.”
“1. She did not even ask it, just took an item and assumed she could take it, absolutely ignoring your ownership and wishes.”
“2. When you said ‘no,’ she did not apologize; she dismissed your feelings because it was a free sample.”
“3. She still does not understand what she did wrong.”
“Wondering if you didn’t find her ‘borrowing’ something else?” ~ Logical_Challenge540
“NTA. Your friend really should have played her greed/entitlement off as a joke rather than doubling down and making it weird.”
“Being free doesn’t mean it’s worthless or that it doesn’t really belong to you.”
“It clearly does have worth, because she wanted it.”
“But wanting doesn’t make it hers, and doesn’t mean she can just take it.”
“And yes it was a gift (not despite the fact, but because you didn’t pay for it).”
“That’s exactly how gifts work – it was a gift from the shop to you, because you were a valuable customer.” ~ Normal-Height-8577
“NTA. It wasn’t free it was a gift with purchase.”
“You probably added something to your order to get it (because usually those mystery boxes are for a minimum of 5 bucks over an order with two things).”
“Your friend is wildly entitled.”
“From now on, do not open anything when she is present.” ~ mslisath
“NTA. You ordered the whole set of items, and it goes without saying that you intend to use them.”
“She just presumes out of nowhere that you got that for her?”
“Nope, that is a point where you don’t ask ‘AITA,’ it’s a point where you take a look at that friendship in particular, and possibly evaluate your other friends for possible desire to rip off your stuff.” ~ Rude-Manufacturer635
“It doesn’t matter whether the stuff is free or you paid for it, it is still yours to decide whether you use it yourself or make a gift to others.” ~ Due_Newspaper_8224
“NTA. If it’s not free then it’s NOT a real gift.”
“What an entitled little lady.” ~ boringbutkewt
“NTA. I don’t think it’s about the item being free or not, but about this friend trying to steal it and assuming that she was entitled to it.”
“This is a strange behavior.” ~ PaperGoodsAddict29
“If it’s part of a promo or sale, it’s not completely free.”
“You paid for it.”
“Your friend can also order the same thing you did and get those ‘freebies’ with their own money. NTA.” ~ zerostar83
“NTA. It’s not really free as you’ve covered the cost of it in the price of your order.”
“Besides, free or not she can’t just help herself to it.”
“It’s yours.” ~ Something-funny-26
“Free sample that you got after YOUR purchase.”
“Honestly the entitlement! NTA.” ~ howiethegiraffe
Reddit is loudly calling out your friend’s questionable behavior OP.
The entitlement is outrageous.
This was your gift to yourself.
You have nothing to feel bad about.
You’re not the one who made it awkward.
She did!
Enjoy your products!