Dealing with someone’s bigotry is always a delicate task, but when it’s your twin brother, it’s even more of a challenge.
For one guy on Reddit, who goes by the name of Wyeufksmaksb, the only way he could think to deal with his twin brother’s homophobia was to “act gay” around him in order to force a conversation. But all it did was start a fight.
So, he took his dilemma to the AITA (Am I the As**hole) subReddit.
The Original Poster (OP) asked his fellow Redditors:
“AITA for ‘acting gay’ in front of my brother?”
“Me and my brother are twins and are 19. He’s got a major thing about things being ’gay’. It’s really just homophobia in my opinion, and I’ve tried calling him out on it.”
“For example, last week our mum came back after doing the grocery shopping and she was passing us bags for us to take inside the house. He refused to carry in her handbag because someone might see and that was ‘gay’.”
“There’s more cases like this: last year we were out with friends in London when a guy offered to buy me a drink. I said no thanks, and the man went away. Thatd be the end for most people right?”
“Not for my brother, who worked himself into such a rage that he wanted to go fight that guy and we had to calm him down.”
“The other day we were having spaghetti Bolognese and our mum had set out these new plates which had a dip to them, so ideal for saucy dishes.”
“He refused to use them. Why? Because they had a sunflower print and as we all know, sunflowers are gay.”
“I’ve called him out on this but he insists he isn’t homophobic, but rather that he’s just straight.”
“So, me and one of the boys have started acting gay to call him out on it. We’ll give each other compliments about each other’s body, like ‘nice pecs bro’.”
“If we’re out with our girlfriends we’d make sure to carry their bags. Sometimes we’d walk down the street holding hands, and every time he’d express discomfort we’d ask him what was wrong with it, forcing him to articulate his bigotry.”
“Well last week I managed to find a poster of the Berlin Wall mural of Brezhnev and Honecker kissing and I hung it on my bedroom door so it’s the first thing he sees in the morning when he leaves his room.”
“I think that was the last straw for him because he blew up on me about how tormenting him like this wasn’t cool. Our friends’ reaction was mixed—some found my actions funny but others said I was needlessly irritating him.”
OP’s fellow Redditors were asked to place the blame based on the following categories:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
And their verdict was decisive.
“NTA: he’s homophobic and has a really sensitive sense of masculinity. I’d say he’s either in denial cause he’s gay or his sense of masculinity is so bad he doesn’t want to be seen as fem in anyway or else he’s not a ‘real’ man. This is what you would call fragile masculinity.” —Elizis
“Tell him that I personally have never carried a woman’s handbag, I’m in it for the cock all the way. He’s right about the sun flowers though.”
“We get a weekly circular called The Gay Agenda to make sure we’re all on the same page.”
“First we came for your rainbows and nobody protested, then we came for your unicorns, 2022 were going to go for Gay Tuesdays and then we’re coming for your sunflowers.”
“Obviously NTA.” —Sir-HP23
“NTA. Me thinks he doth protest too much.” —HereForALaugh714
“Full blown-glass-sparkly-crystal fragile masculinity, you can’t even dust it with a feather duster thing because it would break it, and feathers are probably gay too anyway.” —biez
“…Being this terrified of the mere possibility of being perceived as gay – that’s homophobic.”
“Objecting to even seeing other men displaying behaviors that could potentially be described as feminine—that’s homophobic.” —unikittyRage
“Like who doesn‘t want to eat from a dish because it has sunflowers on them?:D NTA” —Louie7890
“NTA. Though, I sort of feel for the brother. To assert his masculinity he must deny himself so much joy.”
“No baked goods. No cocktails. Wine might be out (definitely rose is out, and if you drink prosecco as a man you might as well just wear a dress (SARCASM)).”
“Can use power tools, but not allowed to wear a tool belt. Can’t possibly have any pet other than a big dog (nothing wrong with big dogs, but kinda limiting the choices here). No colourful clothing.”
“DEFINITELY no comfy cushions or blankets. Can’t carry anything that won’t fit in a pocket because God Forbid he have a satchel or rucksack. Decent shoes. The respect of well adjusted adults….”
“To be clear, none of these make you gay, are inherently gay or, to me at least, even signal ‘GAY’. But I have heard them all being referred to pejoratively, which is heart breaking. (on the other hand, more sparkling rose and chihuahuas for the rest of us!)” —Narcdoff
“NTA at all, and kudos to you for making me laugh at Brezhnev and Honecker on your door.”
“Also your brother is definitely queer, sincerely a queer person.” —Aylwyyn
“NTA. Sunflowers are gay? This is an astounding level of homophobia for the year 2020.”
“Sooner or later, he’s going to have to learn to cope with the gayer things in life. He might as well have his growing pains at home, rather than in public.” —AgonyUncleCharlie
“NTA – Your brother has major insecurities which he needs to address before it becomes a problem for him as he grows up” —wains_world
Hopefully these brothers can get to the bottom of this wildly over-the-top gay panic.
Life is too short to worry about anything this much.