Everyone deals with period pains differently. Some use heating pads, others take ibuprofen, but most don’t take 25 showers a day.
Showering so often not only wastes water, but it’s also an expensive solution. I think hot tea should have the same effect.
Redditor chaleedm encountered this very issue with her sister. So she turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
She asked:
“AITA for telling my sister to stop taking so many showers?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (20F) live with my sister (22F) and our roommate (21M) in a 3 bedroom, 1.5 bathroom house. We usually split bills equally but since my sister recently quit her job, we agreed that our roommate and I can pay her portion for the couple of weeks that she’s looking for a different job.”
“We already can barely afford our bills split 3 ways so it’s been stressful for my roommate and I to have to worry about splitting everything in half.”
“Not that it really matters, but I do make the most money out of everyone, although it’s only a couple dollar difference and doesn’t really affect anything as I buy all the food for our shared pets.”
“My sister sometimes gets cramps or her back hurts and says that a hot shower helps, which I’m all for except for when she’s taking 25 showers a day.”
“I wish I was over exaggerating when I say 25 showers, but I unfortunately am not. She already takes daily showers normally, which puts our water bill and the next most expensive bill after rent. Even our electricity bill is lower than our water bill.”
OP is trying to be understanding.
“I understand being in pain, but it’s getting to be so many showers that i’m dreading the day our water bill comes in this month. She’s done this a few other times, the first time being months ago and we asked her to stop taking so many showers as our water bill is going to be through the roof.”
“She took it as us slamming her and ended up going to our mothers house to take 30 showers there.”
“When we got our bill that time, it was about $45-$50 more than usual, and our mother said her water bill doubled by her being there that one day and using the shower as many times as she did.”
“She’s already done this once this month, last week actually. And when I asked her how many showers she took, she said ‘what’s it to you?'”
OP’s roommate agreed.
“I was texting our roommate and even he said that he felt it’s unfair that’s she’s using all this water considering she’s currently unemployed and has yet to apply for any jobs.”
“I noticed this morning that she’s been in and out of the shower again which means our water bill is going to be insane and I feel it’s unfair that my roommate and I have to pay it.”
“I debated posting this as I thought I was overreacting until I talked to my roommate about it.”
“So, Reddit, am I the asshole?”
The OP added:
“She has a heating pad that she typically uses during the day and night.”
“I just took her some Tylenol, Midol and a glass of water and made her take them. Also informed her of where the Epsom Salt is and told her that the hot showers are burning her skin.”
“During my 30 minute lunch I will be running the the store to get her a Sprite to settle her stomach.”
“Hoping the pain meds work because I have a lot of Ibuprofen and Tylenol and can continue to give her doses as she needs them.”
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Most Redditors agreed OP was not the a**hole.
“If she’s having issues so severe that she’s needing pain relief 25 times a day, she needs to see a doctor.”
“NTA” ~ punkrockcockblock
“First an MD, then psychiatrist. 25 showers a day is not normal and could be a compulsive behavior to deal with stress. Good luck to all of you.” ~ Loopy-Lulu
“Yeah, on any level you’re NTA here.”
“Anxiety and I know each other well: this sounds like more of a coping mechanism for some stimuli than pain mitigation. If this was a purely physical thing and a hot shower was successfully helping her manage pain, she wouldn’t need to take 25 a day.”
“And if she could manage a pain level when she was working without showering like she is now, she’d be able to do the same now she’s unemployed. You can’t make her see a doctor obviously but I’d suggest it for sure.” ~ fleurpixie
Redditors had some questions.
“NTA buy her a heating pad.”
“Also rescind your offer to foot the bills while she’s unemployed. And/or compromise on the showers by getting her to take on the water bill by herself.”
“Edit: If she has a heating pad already then there are bigger issues here at play than cramps. See a doctor or a therapist?”
“But also how have you dealt with the bathroom logistics of 3 people, 1.5 baths and your sister occupying it for what has to be equal to a full time job? What did she do when she worked, and is this the reason she isn’t working anymore?” ~ fleurpixie
“She has the half bath attached to her room and the main bathroom is the one with the shower/bath. Earlier today before I went into work (I work from home), she was in the bathroom taking one of her showers and I was unable to use the bathroom before clocking in.”
“Honestly, when she worked she didn’t really take showers like this. And she quit her job because she was really unhappy with the management and was having anxiety while working, which we understood.” ~ chaleedm
OP added an update.
“Thanks everybody for the recommendations! I decided to buy her a heated water bottle and it will be here on Saturday. I also got the chance to speak with her about how I think it could be IBS because she has a very sensitive stomach.”
“We agreed to start changing our eating habits and if that doesn’t help then we’ll have her consult a doctor.”
The only way to get to an agreement is to have an honest conversation.