Being good to others often results in you feeling better about yourself as well.
Unless, of course, that gesture ends up going awry.
As some people might believe that the gesture was not made with the purest of intentions, being anything but grateful.
Even if these gestures are truly only made with the purest of intentions.
Redditor Narrow_Image5659 liked to show her appreciation for essential workers, by offering them a small gesture to show her appreciation.
While one of the recipients of the original poster (OP)’s kindness seemed appreciative, his wife was anything but.
Even making sure the OP knew of her displeasure in a less than orthodox manner.
Concerned she may have stepped out of line, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITAH for giving the UPS driver water and a snack?”
The OP explained why she ended up offending the wife of her UPS driver:
“To set the scene, I (32 F[emale]) usually give my postal workers snacks or waters around the holidays, but in the summer, I like to grab drinks from the fridge and hand it to them directly bc they’d get hot if I let them sit outside.”
“Last week, my usual UPS driver (60ish M) came to drop off a delivery for my front neighbor.”
“It must’ve been around 9pm bc it was darkish outside.”
“He parked in front of my house and when I noticed him, I thought, I’ll go hand him a water and snack since it’s so hot outside!”
“He was on the phone with his wife and when he saw me he went ‘oh let me ask my wife if I can take it’, ‘honey, can I take a water from a customer?'”
“He then proceeds takes the (sealed) water bottle and snack, says thank you, and I walk away.”
“Yesterday, he rang my doorbell.”
“I come out and say hi, he then asks if he can speak to me while mumbling something on his headset.”
“Conversation went like this:”
“Him: ‘She’s right here honey, I’m gonna put you on speaker’.”
“Me: ‘hello?'”
“Wife: ‘I mean as long as you tell her what you needed to tell her, then that’s it’.”
“Him: ‘she’s listening to you, go ahead’.”
“Me: ‘hello..?'”
“Wife: ‘As a married woman, I don’t appreciate you giving my husband water or anything’.”
“Me: ‘oh, I usually give my UPS, USPS, postal workers snacks or water around the holidays, and especially right now since it’s so hot and they’re out here so late’.”
“Wife: ‘well as a married woman, I don’t like that. And he didn’t even have a package for you, you walked out and looked for him. I thought he was at a business making deliveries. Let me take care of my husband’.”
“I thought it was a joke I’m NGL.”
“I let her finish her rant.”
“Me: ‘well, he was making a delivery to my front neighbors, but you know what, I apologize. I will never give your husband anything else from here on out, have a good day’.”
“He then proceeded to say thanks and walked away.”
“Didn’t say anything else.”
“Mind you, this man is our usually UPS driver.”
“When he drives by, he honks and waves, loves grabbing snacks around the holidays, so I was completely caught off guard with the wife going off on me.”
“I was just trying to be nice to.”
” I reviewed my camera footage, and my daughter and I gave him the water bottle and snacks on Thursday at 9:12 pm.”
“He came back on Monday (of the following week) around 6 pm to have his wife chew me out.”
“No he didn’t have a package for me, just parked in front of my driveway and rang the doorbell.
“He knows where I live, and if he told his wife about me giving him a water bottle, he’s capable of giving her my address.”
“This same UPS man has met my husband, I’m shocked he really couldn’t tell his wife that I’m also married and I was just being nice.”
“He even asked about my dog once when he came to my door and needed a signature!”
“To those also saying this is fake, I wish it was.”
“I honestly wanted to laugh and give his wife my piece of mind too.”
“I genuinely thought that when he put her on speaker, she was gonna say thank you for giving him a water, but NOPE, took a hard left.”
“I even looked around like the characters from ‘The Office’ looking for a camera thinking, this is a joke right?”
“My mom taught me to be respectful to elders as this man could very well be my dad, so I let her say her piece and I called it a day.”
“So, AITAH for handing over a water and snack to the UPS driver?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community firmly agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for giving water and a snack to their UPS driver.
Everyone agreed that the OP was only being kind, finding the behavior of UPS driver’s wife borderline dangerous:
“NTA.”
“Wife: ‘As a married woman, I don’t appreciate you giving my husband water or anything’.”
“‘As a f*cking stranger, I don’t quite care what you do or do not appreciate’.”- StAlvis
“NTA and that lady is nuts.”
“Talk about insecure in a relationship!”
“Bet she spends a lot of time thinking about all those pornos of the delivery guy getting laid by some random woman on his route.”
“He appreciated it and that’s all that matters on your end.”
“This is really more between him and his wife.”
“Keep being a good person.”- Ianthin1
“NTA.”
“You were just being nice and kind and thinking of other peoples feelings, esp considering how hot its been and how hard they work in the heat.”
“Offering food and drinks to the delivery drivers is a really sweet thing to do and shows you’re a kind hearted person.”
“NEVER lose that about yourself.”
“His wife is probably an insecure middle-aged woman who isn’t used to people being so generous to someone who just works postal.”
“She probably sees it as flirting, and doesn’t know how to react to it and wants it to stop.”
“And honestly?”
“He was most likely forced to do it by his wife.”
“He most likely didn’t want it to escalate to that extent, but it did.”
“I’m sure he feels so embarrassed.”
“You did nothing wrong.”- aimiexsteph
“NTA.”
“What grown a** man has to ask his wife if he can take the water and snack in the first place?”
“Does he call her before he gets to your house over the holidays?”
“’Honey!!! I’m almost to that house that always has bomb snacks, can I take one?!'”
“‘Can I?! ‘”
“‘Can I?!??’”- luby4747
“What the actual f*ck?”
“Talk about being severely insecure.”
“Totally NTA at all.”- ItsNewzie
“NTA, and that is abso-f-ing-lutely insane.”
“Of COURSE you didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I might report that to UPS, though, because it is absolute batsh*t for him to go to your house when he doesn’t even have a delivery for you and put you on the phone with his wife.”
“He’s taking time away from his deliveries, to bother a client with batsh*t personal business.”
“And honestly… what kind of woman doesn’t WANT their husband to be treated kindly?”
“Please keep giving things to delivery drivers… just not that one.”- Money-Possibility606
“NTA.”
“That sounds like he’s in a controlling, abusive relationship.”
“How awful that she won’t let him accept a drink when it’s hot.”- Doggedart
The OP later returned with an update, revealing how she decided to follow up on what transpired:
“After reading some comments about my safety, I decided to call UPS and report the driver.”
“I spoke with the rep and told her what happened.”
“She thought it was absolutely crazy that it happened.”
“Although I don’t have his name, I’m sure they can pull up his information with the details I gave her.”
“I specifically remembered the wife’s name bc I read it on the phone when I was listening to her.”
“The rep said she would pass the incident to management because they wouldn’t like it happening to other customers.”
“I told her I wasn’t trying to get him fired, but that I just wanted to make sure they were aware of it.”
“If I hear back, I’ll update y’all.”
Why a grown man should need to ask his wife permission for a bottle of water and a snack is fairly curious to begin with.
That any woman should feel threatened by this, particularly after hearing this occur over the phone, is almost equally perplexing.
Should this incident end up causing the UPS delivery man to lose his job, one can only wonder if he’ll end up caving to his wife’s demands quite so easily going forward.