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Husband Calls Out Wife For Complaining After She Insisted On Tagging Along On His Work Trip

couple arguing in airport
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Jobs which require a lot of traveling for work have a tendency to take a toll on those who work them.

In addition to being exhausting, resulting in packing/unpacking and jet lag, it can also mean spending time away from your family for weeks on end.

Taking a toll on their families as a result.

Redditor autumn893 was becoming frustrated by how little she was seeing her husband owing to the amount of time he spent traveling for work.

In an effort to spend more time with him, the original poster (OP) thought it might be a good idea to join her husband on his next business trip.

A decision she soon regretted, and wasn’t afraid to say so to her husband.

Questioning her behavior, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:

“AITA for complaining after I asked to join my husband on his business trip(s)?”

The OP explained how joining her husband on a recent business trip did not turn out to be the romantic, quality time with him she had hoped it would be.

“My husband and I hadn’t been spending much time together even though we’ve only been married 4 months, so I asked him if I could join him on his business trip.”

“It took some convincing because he thought I would be bored the whole time, but he eventually agreed.”

“He was supposed to be in Berlin for a week, but it somehow turned into him going to 5 different countries in 9 days.”

“It was awful, and I was severely jet-lagged the entire time, so I felt like crap.”

“I don’t know how he and everybody else was coping with the travel but I told him I wanted to go home because I couldn’t keep up with his schedule.”

“After a lot of arguing, he did eventually slow the pace down, and we went home earlier than he would’ve liked even though I told him I could go home by myself.”

“During the argument, he said I shouldn’t complain because I invited myself along, and he was trying to get all of this work out of the way for me.”

“He has to go on another trip in a few days, and he told me I couldn’t go because of what happened last time, even though I wasn’t planning to ask.”

“Was I the a**hole?”

Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

The OP found little to no support from the Reddit community, who all unanimously agreed she was the a**hole for complaining about how little she saw her husband on his business trip.

Everyone agreed that the OP seemed to be ignoring the fact that her husband was traveling for work, not leisure, and her husband gave her fair warning about how busy he would be.

“YTA.”

“Dude is trying to work.”

“He told you that you wouldn’t enjoy yourself, but you just couldn’t leave well enough alone and cost him, and therefore yourself, time and money.”- MystikxHaze

“YTA.”

“This is 100% on you.”

“You begged to go. He let you; you caused issues.”

“Pretty open and shut case here.”

“Hopefully, him cutting the trip short didn’t cost him any business or money, because imo, that’s on you too.”- Pronebasilisk

“YTA.”

“Work trips aren’t vacations.”

“Your husband needs to work!”

“What did you do while he was working?”

“Just lounge around the hotel?”

“Then asked him to slow down the trip?”- ThatGuy7320

“Omg. you can’t honestly believe you’re in the right in any way.”

“You invite yourself on his BUSINESS TRIP.”

“Complain the whole time.”

“Husband tries to accommodate.”

“You still complain.”

“YTA. YTA. YTA.”- dkms9382

“YTA you demanded to go on this trip and then just complained.”

“He was there to work and you were just making that harder.”- GMUcovidta

“YTA.”

“Business trips are for business reasons, not vacations.”

“Sorry OP.”- gorekittens

“Of course YTA.”

“He’s obviously not.”

“He had a business trip. You insisted on going.”

“Then became insufferable on the trip.”- Not-nuts

“YTA.”

“It is a business trip.”

“I understand you want to spend time with your new husband, but business trips are for work, not leisure.”

“You probably made this all the more stressful for him; dealing with work, trying to finish everything up, and on top of it, you were complaining and wanting to go home.”

“I wouldn’t want you to go on my next business trip after seeing what had happened last time, fearful of that repeating itself.”- ChipoTheWoof

“YTA.’

“Guess what? YOUR HUSBAND WAS WORKING!”

“It wasn’t the time for togetherness.”

“I am glad that you will now know that business trips aren’t ‘party time.'”

“But grueling and tiring work.”- Smitty_80013

“YTA.”

“He warned you, and you went anyway.”

“You had no right to complain.”- Calantha1

“YTA.”

“Not only did you waste his time, but you also wasted his money too.”

“You could’ve also kept yourself entertained.”

“Your husband didn’t have to be with you 24/7 on the trip.”

“You could’ve gone sightseeing, food tasting (or whatever it’s called), saw a movie, idk anything!”-dartully

“YTA.”

“You invited yourself along on his business trip, even though he told you he would be working, would have no time for you, and would hate it.”

“He was working.”

“A week in Berlin turning into two weeks in a bunch of different countries is a thing that happens.”

“Not all the time, for sure, but it happens.”

“You hated it.”

“Then you did a bunch of complaining, which resulted in him doing less work in order to cater to you.”

“What did you think his work trips were, some kind of company-sponsored vacation?”

“You thought he’d do a few hours of light work, and then you’d get to do some sightseeing and hang out in nice hotels?”

“Nobody’s work trips are like that.”- _mmiggs_

“You and everybody else should know, YTA.”

“You can’t make demands on his schedule for a business trip you weren’t even invited on.”–100_percent_right

“My mom took my sister and me along on many business trips with my dad.”

“Do you know what we did during those trips?”

“OUR OWN THING BECAUSE MY DAD WAS WORKING.”

“I need INFO so badly.”

“Did you try to like go along with him on the business outings he had?”

“If that’s the case, you should have spent your day in the hotel or getting lunch someplace in the city, or sightseeing (Berlin is lovely, with lots of things to see) and then had dinner with him in the evening or drinks at night or something.”

“It sounds like you interrupted his planned business outing and forced him to ‘slow down’ which may have cost him networking chances or business opportunities.”- Hey-Kristine-Kay

“YTA.”

“It was work.”

“Not a holiday.”

“Imagine your husband doing this for a living, just trying to get through the days as quickly as possible just to get back home.”

“At least now you know how his trips go.”- Spectre_Bazza

“YTA.”

“I can’t believe you are even asking.”

“Am I understanding this correctly?”

“You begged to go on A BUSINESS trip?”

“Your Husband said it’s not a good idea because you would be bored easily, and you still wanted to go?”

“When he gave in, you decided you didn’t like it, and instead of sucking it up, you whine that you want to go home?”

“You are wondering if you are in the wrong about this?”

“I mean, did your husband marry a 6-year-old?”

“Seriously.”

“This sounds like a child whining about not getting his or her way rather than an adult talking about his/her husband.”- MissStegosaurus

“YTA, this is a whole, ‘I didn’t think the leopards would eat MY face.'”

“You’ve absolutely excluded yourself from any future trips. Enjoy.”- whatsmypassword73

“NTA.”

“You offered to go home early because you weren’t feeling it.”

“He insisted that you stay.”

“He shouldn’t be all sore about it.”- scarlytteh1

“YTA.”

“Business trips are called business trips for a reason. It’s not all fun times and relaxing.”

“You know better now not to ask again.”- ReviewOk929

“YTA.”

“I tag along with my husband to business trips and conferences a couple of times a year if he is going to be in a city I’ve wanted to visit.”

“But I RESPECT HIS SCHEDULE.”

“I find ways to entertain myself by exploring the city, and if he requests my presence at something like a dinner, I gladly oblige.”

“He’s my partner, and I understand that the travel is part of his job, and entertaining me is secondary.”

“I’m happy when I get to see him on the trip, but I don’t get in the way of his doing what he needs to do, and I certainly don’t make demands to leave.”- Strict_Bar_4915

One can’t blame the OP for wanting to spend more time with her husband.

But it’s hard to understand how she thought a business trip would be an ideal occasion for quality time.

Hopefully, the OP’s husband will soon be able to get some vacation days, and the two of them will finally be able to have the quality time together she was hoping for.

Written by John Curtis

A novelist, picture book writer and native New Yorker, John is a graduate of Syracuse University and the children's media graduate program at Centennial College. When not staring at his computer monitor, you'll most likely find John sipping tea watching British comedies, or in the kitchen, taking a stab at the technical challenge on the most recent episode of 'The Great British Baking Show'.