Be it over how fast they drive, what they eat, or the activities in which they partake, some people are far more cautious than others.
Everyone has their own comfort level, which no one should be pressured into adjusting.
But sometimes hearing people express how cautious—or overly cautious—they are being, no matter the reason, can be exhausting to say the least.
The sister of Redditor SchrodingerPregnancy found herself frequently declining various invitations, or refusing various foods owing to a possible medical condition.
She began doing so with such regularity and over such a long span of time that the original poster (OP) finally couldn’t take it anymore.
And when they told their sister this to her face, it naturally wasn’t taken in stride.
Worried that they may have been unfair to their sister, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I the A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for telling my sister I’m sick of her hypothetical pregnancy?”
The OP explained how her sister began constantly bringing attention to herself owing to some possible good news, which finally became too much for them to handle.
“For the past year my sister has been trying to get pregnant, a journey on which I fully support her.”
“However, she’s been kind of obnoxious about it.”
“She’s always bringing up how she might be pregnant.”
“‘No wine for me, I might be pregnant’.”
“‘I can’t keep the fast today, might be pregnant’.”
“‘I miss sushi, but I have to abstain because I might be pregnant’.”
“She’s been pregnant and not pregnant for so long that I’m starting to worry she’ll give birth to a cat.”
“Last night I told her about an upcoming trip I have with my boyfriend and some friends.”
“We’re going river rafting, which I’ve never done before and was excited about.”
“She jumped in with ‘I’d love to try that too, but I can’t because I might be pregnant’.”
“I got annoyed, because we were talking about me for once and she found a way to make it about her hypothetical pregnancy again.”
“I said ‘well, no one invited you’.”
“She asked me what my problem was, and I said I was sick of hearing about her hypothetical pregnancy.”
“She said I was immature and left.”
“I feel bad, but also I am so sick of hearing about Shrodinger’s pregnancy. “
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community generally agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for calling out their sister.
Most agreed with the OP that their sister was constantly trying to bring attention to herself by mentioning a possible pregnancy.
“Schrodinger’s pregnancy, I’m dying!”- IAmHerdingCatz
“I would go to the dollar tree, buy a bunch of pregnancy tests and every time she says ‘she might be pregnant’, hand her a test.”- Embersmom83
“And look out.”
“If she’s this crazy now, I can’t imagine how attention starved she’ll be if/when she actually is pregnant.”- googlyeyes183
“She’s being weird about it.”- ChalkButter
“NTA She needs a hobby and to stop trying to make every conversation about her.”- Unit_08_Pilot
“That would drive anyone crazy.”
“You should give her a dose of her own medicine.”
“Forbid her any food, drink, or activity that anyone has ‘ever’ considered dangerous for pregnant women.”- Parsimonycake
“She can just say ‘no thank you’.”
“It’s really that simple.”- Simple-Limit-5508
“Sorry she’s having problems but OMFG that would annoy the hell out of me.”
“How about she sticks a fork in having the world accommodate her until she actually has something to announce?”- Piper6728
“You are not TA, Some people, like your sister, just like to be the centre of attention constantly.”-AussieTopCat
“I feel this on a very deep level except for me, my SIL actually IS pregnant and they told us IMMEDIATELY after finding out.”
“It’s been 4 months and nobody in the family has been able to talk about anything other than them being pregnant.”
“If you think it’s bad now, just wait until she actually does get pregnant.”
“And then once she has the baby.”
“And then once she has a toddler.”
“YOU WILL NEVER GET TO TALK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE IN HER PRESENCE EVER AGAIN.”
“It’s been a very annoying past few months.”- Bright-Row1010
There were some, however, who felt that while they still didn’t think the OP did anything wrong, their sister’s behavior might be indicative of something more serious going on.
“This has been going on for a year, is she seeing a fertility specialist at this point?”
“Because she probably should be, most doctors recommend professional help after 6 months if your over 35, or after a year if you’re younger.”
“And a therapist, because this is some odd coping behavior.”
“I’m no stranger to a frustrating fertility situation, we took 6 months for our first (got lucky) and almost 10 for our second and needed medical assistance to conceive.”
“We had our own coping methods, but her behavior here is weirding me out.”- duffman13jws
“But resistance is futile.”
“Your sister is probably more anxious and upset than you know about whether or not she is or is going to have fertility problems.”
“She probably is bringing it up all the time but trust me, if she actually gets pregnant her monopoly on conversation will go into overdrive for the rest of her life.”
“Nothing will get through to her as she rambles on about Junior’s college applications.”
“I would just lower your expectations of her conversation skills and try to talk to others at family gatherings.”
“You are going to need to develop some coping skills because she is going to drive you crazy.”-Timely_Cake_8304
While a few felt that while the OP wasn’t at fault, neither was their sister, who may very well have been cautious for a good reason.
“If she actively trying to get pregnant, avoiding alcohol and sushi is a good idea, as she might in fact be pregnant.”
“It is a bit weird to keep saying it though.”
“But it’s not hurting anyone.”
“I get it’s annoying though, so I wouldn’t say your an AH either for snapping at her.”-Kindly_Reward_8537
“Talk to her maturely about it and see if she can tone it down.”
“Sometimes people get obnoxious over stuff that’s constantly on their mind without being aware of it, and can be checked. politely, by people around them.”-SFyr
“She’s been trying for a year now, at which point if you haven’t had success most doctors will diagnose you with unexplained infertility.”
“If they can’t find a reason you haven’t conceived.”
“For a lot of women, by the time you are a year in you’re already feeling heartbroken every month you haven’t conceived and trying to have a baby has a way of taking over most of your life.”
“You do start putting off plans: ‘no, I won’t plan a holiday because if I get pregnant next month I’ll be due not long after and I don’t want to go on a trip when I’m that far along’.”
“And not drinking: ‘oh it’s 7 days since I ovulated, I better not drink in case I have conceived this month’.”
“It literally consumes you.”
“Have a little empathy for her and at the very least just ignore those comments she makes.”
“She’s probably having a harder time than you know right now.”- Ru_the_day
“NAH even women struggling to get pregnant get sick of living their lives with Schroedinger’s Pregnancy.”
“I love how you put that.”
“She probably mentions it a lot though because it’s really frustrating her to have to abstain from these things during the 2 week wait every time.”
“It’s probably driving her bananas too and she is looking to talk about it because she needs someone to listen with empathy.”
“She probably thought she could turn to you and you were nasty.”
“I have the feeling she was trying to open a meaningful conversation but went about it badly.”
“I bet it’s making her bananas too.”- Strongwoman82
“I’m torn here tbh.”
“For the specific instance you describe, sis butting into a convo about someone else’s vacation to discuss her potential pregnancy, you’re NTA.”
“But if she’s been dealing with infertility for awhile, this sounds like a pretty common coping strategy because she may need to tell herself this just to keep hope alive and keep trying.”
“And if she’s been doing it long enough for you to snap, it sounds to me like she’s in the unbelievably painful ‘I know something is wrong but insurance won’t cover testing yet so I’m going to pretend there’s still a chance even though I don’t believe it because if I don’t I might not make it’ phase of infertility.”- vf-n
Perhaps the OP’s sister continues to bring up her possible pregnancy out of optimism, as a way of ignoring or coping with any difficulties she might have.
But one has to imagine there was a slightly less abrasive way of doing so, without constantly rerouting all conversations back towards herself.
Here’s hoping there isn’t too much love lost between the OP and their sister, and that the next time the OP’s sister refuses something, it’s because she is actually pregnant.