If you get along well with your in-laws, you should consider yourself fortunate.
While your spouse’s parents don’t alway intend for the things they say and do to get on your very last nerve, they still sometimes manage to make that happen.
*sometimes*
There are the in-laws, however, who fully intend to make you regret you ever married their offspring.
Enter Redditor Top_Attitude_6425 whose mother-in-law put some extra-extra spicy chicken in her meal fully aware of her extreme intolerance to heat.
The Redditor reacted by dumping a milkshake on her mother-in-law’s head and was told she went too far, so she turned to the “Am I The A**hole Here” (AITAH) subReddit to seek feedback from fellow Redditors.
Redditor Top_Attitude_6425 asked:
“AITAH for considering what my MIL did assault and pouring a milkshake on her as a reaction?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My MIL and I don’t get along.”
“I know she doesn’t approve but thankfully my husband is on my side.”
“We recently saw his side of the family for an outing and ended up eating at a hot chicken place.”
“MIL likes food really hot.”
“She usually gets things as hot as they can make them and then says they could be hotter.”
“Her fave meals are ones she seems to be struggling to swallow.”
“you get the picture.”
“I’m a baby when it comes to spice and MIL seems to judge me as being picky.”
“At the restaurant you had the option of picking your spice level, so I picked ‘lite mild’ and she picked ‘reaper.'”
“While we were eating I bit into a tender and my mouth exploded.”
“It was one of the worst pains of my life and i began yelling for water, which was embarrassing since we were in public.”
“My husband couldn’t figure out what was wrong but I saw his stepdad and aunt smirking at each other and MIL looking pleased with herself.”
“When I could finally speak I said I know you did it, and she admitted to switching one of our tenders.”
“My husband began screaming at her and I saw red.”
“I said what she did was assault and if she ever f**ked with me again I’d call the cops.”
“I said I’m not here for her amusement but because her son loves me, and then I was like oh so you like pranks and poured a vanilla milkshake on her.”
“MIL had no reaction to getting doused in a milkshake, but to be fair she has almost no reaction to anything ever.”
“I probably could have socked her and she wouldn’t have reacted.”
“There was a lot of laughter from the table, but after the fact I heard some people felt I went too far or that I’m crazy.”
Redditors weighed in on the situation, and most decided OP was NTA (“not the a**hole”).
Many commented that MIL’s “prank” was not in the least bit funny – borderline criminal, in fact – and she deserved every ounce of milkshake poured on her head.
“NTA”
“MIL is psycho.”
“People may not know this, but people who are not used to hot food can actually become very ill after a stunt like this.”
“This would have given me massive cramps, and I may even have fainted and been in pain for several days.”
“She knew damn well you didn’t eat spicy food and she pulls this stunt.”
“It is an assult.”
“And the fact that she had no reaction to the whole thing… she is psycho” – HereWeGoAgain-1979
“NTA reapers aren’t just spicy; they are among the highest on the Scoville heat scale.”
“It might have been less bad if it was just a normal hot chicken wing, but this is challenge-level insane.” – Quick-Strength4023
“It is rarely funny or done a joke.”
“Tampering with food is wrong.”
“I would have let her taste ghosted pepper in her eyes.” – enkilekee
“NTA”
“It is actually assault.”
“Any unwilling action against a person’s body is assault.”
“People have allergic reactions to spicy food all the time.”
“Some people are hospitalized because they can’t breathe.”
“Some have actually died.”
“It wasn’t funny in any way.” – Reddit User
“NTA. Despite what people are saying here, in some states/cases, tampering with food is actually considered assault and a crime.”
“Although to be fair, I’m not sure if what she did would really fall under that category.”
“But it was still highly inappropriate and getting a cold drink poured on her actually seems pretty mild compared to what she did to you.” – Ok-Historian5411
“Gonna go against the grain and say NTA.”
“No, it’s not assault, but I think the reaction was warranted.”
“Some people REALLY hate spice, and some even have allergic reactions.”
“She had no idea if you were the former or the latter.”
“So pouring a milkshake was relatively harmless.” – the_purple_goat
“NTA. I can’t even eat black pepper, and my husband eats all the hottest anyplace can give him.”
“I have asthma and cannot even breathe the vapors when he cooks, so your MIL is a POS.” – Sufficient-Bar-7399
“NTA. She could have made you seriously sick.”
“Spicy food is not for everyone.” – CarrotNew4835
“Also going against the grain here but NTA.”
“Your MIL is a self-centered jerk.”
“Contrary to what others are saying people who are sensitive to spice can, in fact, find it very painful.”
“Also, depending on where you live, adulterating someone’s food is a crime.” – SeaOk7514
“Tampering with people’s food is a form of assault, and a reaper-level spice could cause people to become violently ill.”
“Going forward I would never share a meal with these idiots. NTA” – TexasTeacher
“NTA, I know if that was done to me, I would have stomach issues all night and possibly the next day too.”
“Did you dump the milkshake on her head?”
“I think she deserves it, jokes where people get hurt are not funny.”
“Now she knows not to mess with you as you will give it right back to her.” – 18k_gold
“NTA.”
“In all seriousness, is she a sociopath?”
“Her lack of reactions gave me that idea.”
“You didn’t go too far, and you didn’t overreact.”
“MIL is evil” – Possible-Process5723
Others urged OP to cut all ties with her in-laws.
“NTA. Cut them off.” – mehlol42
“NTA!! I would consider that assault.”
“She deserved a milkshake bath.”
“Hopefully your husband goes no contact with her after this stunt!”
“I wouldn’t allow her around my children either because she is not a safe person.” – Vicious_Lilliputian
“NTA, but Op, what is it going to take for you to stop entertaining these people ?”
“You don’t want them to win ? I get that.”
“Then tell your husband that you’re done and mean it; otherwise you’re just letting them have their way anyway.”
“The only thing they want more than you gone is to have an avenue to humiliate you.”
“‘Husband, my food was intentionally tampered with in public for no reason other than to hurt me.'”
“‘Shouting at MIL afterwards doesn’t stop that behaviour from happening, it doesn’t wind back time.'”
“‘I will never put myself in that situation again, so from today I will not spend my time around these people again.'”
“‘If you choose to have a relationship with people that wilfully choose to publicly humiliate and hurt me – your wife – you are communicating to me and everyone around us that you are okay with this happening.'”
“‘I do not want a marriage where my husband subjects me that kind of treatment and I do not wish to raise kids around people like that.'” – sanguinepsychologist
“NTA”
“But until your husband actually stops having her in your and his lives, he isn’t actually defending or protecting you.”
“Words obviously aren’t doing anything, but he would rather keep the peace at your expense.” – star_b_nettor
“NTA food tampering is a crime.”
“I probs would’ve smacked her but milkshake was a good move (sad you didn’t get to have it though)”
“Please tell your husband you’re done with family gatherings.”
“It’s abusive now” – Chaoticgood790
“‘She has no reaction to anything.'”
“OP I’m concerned.”
“I have a saying.”
“I came up with it from living with my mom and experiencing a number of interactions she had: Never play a game of Who’s Crazy with someone unless you’re absolutely sure you’re the craziest mother f**ker there.”
“You are not the craziest mother f**ker there. This is not a normal person.”
“You’ve probably never dealt with someone like this.”
“This person is not safe for you to be around.”
“This transcends any a**hole paradigm.” – bendybiznatch
“Nope NTA.”
“MIL started it knowing you were not able to deal with the spice.”
“She was deliberate and trying to humiliate you in front of your husband and the rest of the family.”
“As for pouring the milkshake over her, I understand why you did it but can’t say that I overly agree with it.”
“You essentially reacted to violence’ with ‘violence.'”
“You allowed her to get you and you rose to the bait and thereby amused all of the flying monkeys in his family.”
“Frankly seems like it’s time for NC.”
“If there is a family group chat of some form send a text stating that your MILs sabotaging your food to make you look like the bad person was the last straw.”
“You and hubby will no longer remain in contact with her and anyone in her family who either agrees with or supports her.”
“Your future children will have no contact with them as well.”
“The only way this will be lifted is if MIL publicly apologizes for her mistreatment of you.” – FitzDesign
It seems that her fellow Redditors believe the best course of action is to stop interacting with her in-laws in any capacity.
Subjecting herself to humiliation – and now actual physical pain – is not worth trying to appease those who only want to hurt her.