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Woman Accused Of ‘Stealing’ Sister’s Wedding Dress For Herself After She Breaks Off Her Engagement

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Weddings are stressful but wonderful to plan, pretty much in equal measure.

How terrible is it, though, if someone’s relationship falls apart after they’ve already done so much planning?

And one question the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit asked recently was, what “rights” do they have to any of their planning ideas?

A Redditor who has since deleted their account asked this very question after her sister’s wedding plans were canceled.

But when there were mixed replies to the new plans, the Original Poster (OP) wondered if she had overstepped.

She asked the sub: 

“AITA for ‘stealing’ my sister’s wedding dress… even though she isn’t getting married anytime soon?”

The OP spent a lot of the last year helping her sister look for the perfect wedding dress.

“So last year, my sister was engaged and would have her wedding whenever [the pandemic] got less severe and whatnot.”

“We spent a lot of last year searching for the perfect dress for her… and let’s just say she is really picky, so it took a long time.”

“Wedding dress shopping and looking kind of had become a hobby of mine, so I would search on websites, a lot for them, when suddenly I came across the perfect dress.”

“I immediately screenshotted it to sent it to my sister, knowing she would love it.”

“But I’m not going to lie, a tiny thought crossed my mind to not send it, because it was so perfect for myself, but then I thought, ‘well, I’m not getting married anytime soon.'”

“Long story short my sister loved the dress and luckily a store nearby us had the dress in stock.”

“However, unfortunately before the dress could have been finalized and all that jazz, my sister and her fiancé broke off the engagement.”

When the OP became engaged after that, she turned her attention back to the dress.

“This year I got engaged and was looking to have my wedding sometime early next year.”

“I have been looking like crazy for the perfect dress. However, all my mind could go back to was the dress my sister was going to wear.”

“I did feel some guilt, as the end of the engagement really broke my sister and I didn’t want to be giving her bad memories, but at the same time, I could not find any other dress.”

“The reason why this dress is so special is that it includes everything I want, in my budget frame of 1k (which, when looking for a wedding dress, delivers very limited options).”

“I promise if I found another dress to tick off all the boxes, I would choose it in a heartbeat, but every dress in my budget is missing something I’d preferably like to have. I just want to feel beautiful on my wedding day.”

The sister was heartbroken over the OP’s dress choice.

“When I told my sister I would be getting that wedding dress, she had a breakdown, saying that, that wedding dress was hers and she didn’t care, because she was going to wear it for her wedding.”

“The thing is, she isn’t getting married anytime soon and is currently single.”

“Besides, even if she were to get married later, who knows if she would find a nicer dress?”

The rest of the family was divided on the matter. 

“My family is torn.”

“My mom is saying I’m being really insensitive.”

“My fiancé says nobody can own a dress and it isn’t her right.”

“My other sister says there are millions of other dresses I could choose from.”

“My brother thinks my sister is being a spoiled brat.”

The OP felt torn, as well. 

“Some part of me feels guilty. However, it’s really the perfect dress, and I haven’t found anything else that grabs me the way that dress does.”

“And another part of me says my sister is being unreasonable.”

“I just want to know what side of my mind to listen to.”

Fellow Redditors weighed in:

  • NTA: Not the A**hole
  • YTA: You’re the A**hole
  • ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
  • NAH: No A**holes Here

Some sympathized with the sister and what she would feel seeing the OP wearing the dress. 

“Soft YTA. I understand you found it, and you love it, but you did send it to her when she was getting married, and it was going to be hers.”

“Imagine the heartache she is going to feel seeing you in it when her own engagement/wedding got called off. You should have asked her and had a conversation about it at the very least.”mrsvictorbravo

“I think it’s a hard YTA. I’m honestly a little disgusted OP would even consider it.”

“OP if you love your sister, why would you prioritize this over her emotional well-being? I’ll never understand people who are more interested in having a day that looks good than in celebrating with their loved ones.”enterpursuingabear

“YTA. There’s nothing soft or innocent about this post in my opinion.”

“It reads exactly as it is, ‘my sister found her dream dress, and then her engagement was canceled. Now I wanna wear that dress but she says no fair. (pouty face)'”

“Like come on OP, think outside yourself for one second.”haileymoses

Others advised the OP to not ruin her relationship with her sister over a dress. 

“OP – this what you really need to consider: dresses are dresses are dresses.”

“Unless it’s an heirloom, you need to consider your sister’s feelings here. I mean, TALK TO YOUR SISTER. work out something here.”

“Imagine her feelings of seeing you married in her dream dress. No matter how silly that may sound. Seriously – and I’m asking all brides to be – is it worth hurting someone you love for a few dashes of lace and flourishes?”

“What do you love more – a garment you wear ONE DAY, or the (maybe slightly irrational but emotional) well-being of your sis? I’m also torn here.”effyoucreeps

“Talk to your sister. Don’t wreck a relationship over this.”

“Can you compromise? Maybe you can get that dress but alter it a bit so it’s not the same dress, but similar and still within your budget and your style?”

“But only do this if sis is ok with it. Best to keep looking for a different one though that will be uniquely yours.”

“I really hear where you’re coming from and the fact that ‘it wasn’t physically hers’ but for her, it’s a tangible reminder of her lost relationship and happiness. Do you want your sis to go thru that, especially on your happy day?”

“I bet that if you wear that dress, your sis and your mom will be constantly thinking of her broken wedding plans at your wedding. Not the vibes you want on your special day.”

“In a nutshell, she doesn’t own the dress, but sisterhood should be thicker than satin and lace. Congrats on your upcoming marriage!”Wearealreadyhere

“Pretty sure if it’s a dress that’s the issue, both of them should pick a different dress.”

“Calling one TA and not the other is kind of ridiculous. It’s being petty.”

“There are bad memories attached to the dress. It shouldn’t even be an issue. I wouldn’t want to wear it and wouldn’t expect my sister to, either.”

“Sounds like these ladies need to go dress shopping together and find some new d**n dresses.”Small_Shock0801

Whether or not there’s some family rivalry going on here, or if the OP actually meant to hurt her sister, is unclear. But the subReddit agreed that the OP needed to put her sister’s feelings, and ultimately their relationship, before the dress. If one dress was designed that way, surely with enough searching, these women could find one or two more similarly designed bridal gowns.

Written by McKenzie Lynn Tozan

McKenzie Lynn Tozan has been a part of the George Takei family since 2019 when she wrote some of her favorite early pieces: Sesame Street introducing its first character who lived in foster care and Bruce Willis delivering a not-so-Die-Hard opening pitch at a Phillies game. She's gone on to write nearly 3,000 viral and trending stories for George Takei, Comic Sands, Percolately, and ÜberFacts. With an unstoppable love for the written word, she's also an avid reader, poet, and indie novelist.