Comedy seems to be an issue these days.
The issue, of course, is that too many people think they’re funny.
It’s a skill not all people possess.
But then again, many people may need to read the room.
Case in point…
Redditor throwatw5573322 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for walking out during my fiancé’s birthday dinner over what my FMIL said?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I’ll preface this by saying that I’m an introvert.”
“Although I’m in my 30s and have two kids, I’ve always struggled with being social.”
“I have to admit that it can have a negative impact, but it’s part of my personality, and I’m glad everyone around me respects that and understands.”
“However, my F[uture] M[other] I[n] L[aw] whom I met after meeting my current fiancé, tends to make comments about me being awkward or overly shy.”
“She always criticizes me for it, and often times she would bring it up in front of everyone and make me feel anxious.”
“My fiancé’s birthday was yesterday.”
“I’d put lots of work and preparation in, in order to fit in with the family and just be chill and normal.”
“Everything was going well until we gathered at the dinner table.”
“My F[uture] B[rother] I[n] L[aw] came to sit with us and pulled his chair too close to mine so that our hips almost touched.”
“I felt awkward. I got up and tried to pull my chair inches away from him.”
“He didn’t react.”
“But his mom (FMIL) was watching the whole thing and looked at me and said, ‘Good God! You’re so uptight I bet you made your ex-husband put a sheet over you for each conception.'”
“Followed by a laugh.”
“I was blown away, completely.”
“People actually laughed with her, and I felt so upset.”
“I quietly got up and took my stuff, and walked out.”
“My fiancé followed me outside saying I overreacted and ruined his birthday over ‘a joke.'”
“I was so upset we got into a huge argument, and then I insisted to go home.”
“He came back hours later yelling about how I ruined his birthday and made a scene in front of his family.”
“He said he was sick and tired of my uptightness and that I need to loosen up and stop acting childishly.”
“His mom called, and he’s now refusing to speak to me unless I apologize to him and his mom for storming out like that; since his mom was just ‘giving her opinion in a funny way,’ and this is how she is.”
“So AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. You need to get out of this relationship.”
“Being a single mom may be tough, but a future husband who would allow his mother to make a sexual joke in front of the family to a person who obviously has social anxiety is not a man you should marry.
“Run from this family.” ~ ThrowawayForADay0327
“It’s never going to stop OP.”
“It’s only going to get worse, and the stakes are going to go up.”
“What kind of input is your MIL going to have on your future house?”
“Any future pregnancies? The names of any future kids?”
“A burdensome MIL is one thing, but your fiancée doesn’t have your back, and that is not a recipe for a lasting relationship.”
“It’s that simple.” ~ DogmaticNuance
“Let’s also not excuse the BIL sitting so close to her that they’re almost touching.”
“Unless there was legitimately not enough space at the table, I don’t understand how they can fault her for regaining her personal space.”
“And ‘then’ the MIL compared her discomfort sitting so close to [not her partner] with a sexual joke about her ex-partner is even more disturbing.”
“The whole family sounds toxic.” ~ Wynfleue
“I don’t think it was an accident.”
“I think FMIL and FBIL are setting her up to target her, and FBIL sat too close on purpose to make OP uncomfortable so that FMIL could mock her.”
“Think about it.”
“FMIL was watching with her gross comment all loaded up and ready to go.”
“OP, they are trying to get you to accept this abusing treatment as normal, and your fiancé is being a good little boy and going right along with it.”
“Get out of there. NTA.” ~ Adorable_Strength319
“I also think that even if the FBIL wasn’t part of a set-up, it’s definitely weird (and gross) that he’d sit that close to her.”
“I believe 99% of the time women instinctively know when a man is being creepy.”
“She was just protecting herself based on decades of experience as a woman.”
“Also, definitely NTA.” ~ fitterhappier222more
“Exactly!!!! Not having your S[ignificant] O[ther]s back should be a crime.”
“Especially when they haven’t done anything wrong.”
“Plus, FMIL can say it’s a joke all she wants, but if something was done to HER Ooooo, I bet they’d be hell to pay.”
“These people are gaslighting you.”
“‘It’s just a joke’ is the purest simplest form of gaslighting, and I’ll die on that hill.”
“NTA!!!! NTA NTA NTA NTA NTA NTA NTA NTA NTA NTA NTA NTA NTA NTA NTA NTA NTA!!” ~ Lucky_Low4028
“For me, the social anxiety has nothing to do with it.”
“If anyone, especially someone not related to me, sat down so close that our hips were touching, I would also move.”
“I would have assumed it was an accident, and they would also prefer not to be touching.”
“And even if it wasn’t an accident and it was some kind of weird joke, too bad.”
“There’s no reason for us to be touching if there’s plenty of space for everyone.”
“OP is NTA, and her reaction of moving over slightly is so normal and benign I can’t believe FMIL even noticed it.”
“Like she must be constantly staring at OP to notice, let alone care and care enough to make a stink about it.”
“OP – your fiancés family is weird, and I don’t think you should have to put up with this.”
“There’s nothing wrong with being introverted.”
“They need to get off their high horse of believing that their way of social interactions is THE way.” ~ mjot_007
“This. Can we please stop pretending that introversion is a character flaw we need to overcome with an 80s movie makeover?”
“OP is allowed not to have the same high social battery this unfunny joke of a fiancé has, she is damn well allowed to need personal space, and it sounds DAMN natural to have anxiety around this whole unfunny family.”
“The MiL is a bully, and if it weren’t introversion, it would be something else.”
“The fact that the fiance agrees with Mommy Fearest only makes it so much worse.”
“Is this how OP wants her own kid to think of her?”
“How she wants her kid to grow up seeing her treated?”
“OP needs to see a private therapist and get some people in her corner because this family offers neither. So NTA.” ~ Notte_di_nerezza
“Woooow. Such a red flag that he defended his mother and told you off.”
“That’s a very bad precedent for your marriage because it will continue to happen over and over.”
“You will end up miserable. RUN. FAST. NTA.” ~ Weekend_Breakfast
“NTA. Do ‘not’ apologize.”
“Your ex-FMIL is saying, ‘I find jokes about you funny. Why don’t you find jokes about you funny?'”
“Ex-FMIL, you made a disgusting joke about your son’s fiancé’s sex life!”
“At a birthday dinner!”
“Of course, she walked out.”
“And defending your other son’s actions (the one sitting too close to the OP) is the typical justification people give for the behavior of a predator.”
“You should be glad you found out how horrible these people are before you tied the knot!”
“Call off the engagement.”
“They are not nice, and your fiancé’s actions in not defending you, and yelling at you later, show that he’s hated you all along.”
“Get away from these awful people.”
“Feel free to show this comment to ex-FMIL if you’re in contact again. NTA.” ~ stroppo
“NTA… but it’s time to kick your fiancé to the curb.”
“The ‘joke’ was inappropriate and aimed to make you feel uncomfortable.”
“Do you really see yourself as being part of this family long term?”
“How many times are you going to have to listen to your MIL ‘giving her opinion in a funny way’ while your hubby laughs about it?” ~ angelaheidt
“My fiancé’s family is also very much so like this, and I grew up not liking to be touched for certain reasons that are no one else’s business.”
“I also don’t DRINK.”
“They put vodka in my bottle of water and told me to loosen up.”
“He packed my bag while I puked because well the taste of vodka/water.”
“He didn’t talk to them for almost seven months until they realized either they respect me as a person and what I’m comfortable with, or he’ll make the decision of what makes him happier.”
“I now get to take walks by myself with his family just saying owe that’s just (my name) vs. what they use to say/do behind my back.”
“Step back, reevaluate your relationship, wants vs. needs, morality vs. fear, etc.”
“You’re already a single mom. Whether you see it or not, you’re already a super mom and inspirational for others.”
“You know what needs to happen, NTA.” ~ Manbearpiggy98
Well, OP, Reddit is with you.
You get to choose what makes you feel uncomfortable.
It sounds like you may need to have some serious discussion with the fiancé before the big day.
Good luck.