People getting along with their in-laws is a blessing that isn’t always shared between family members. When it comes to political or religious views, not everyone sees things the same way and clashes can lead to a lot of stress.
As someone who suffers from a painful disorder, Redditor the-boogey-donkey is a woman who can’t afford to subject her health to such anxiety.
So when she overheard her mother-in-law slamming her behind her back, she did what she thought was necessary to eliminate the headache.
The resulting backlash resulted in her visiting the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit where she asked:
“Aita for throwing my [mother-in-law] (MIL) out after she told my husband god is disappointed in him for marrying me?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained how she welcomed her long-term houseguest.
“Me (26 f[emale]) and my husband (27 m[ale]) have been married nearly a year now and due to COVID and him being really close to his family, we agreed that his mother could stay with us for a while.”
“I’ve always been friendly with his mother but we’ve never been as close as she is with his brother’s girlfriend.”
“Bear in mind I’ve been dating my husband for 9 years and my BILs [brother-in-law] only been with his girlfriend a year and none of us knew her beforehand.”
“My husband’s family are catholic whereas I’m atheist but that doesn’t tend to affect things as his family don’t go to church not even at Christmas, they just seem to hold those views.”
“I hope you understand what I mean. The other day after working all day and being really unwell due to well period cramps, I have endometriosis, I decided I needed a lie down and my husband was fine with it and brought me some pain killers and some food.”
“I woke up about an hour later to shouting.”
“My MIL was telling my husband that I was being lazy and how god is disappointed in him for choosing a terrible wife.”
“She believes I shouldn’t work and should be pregnant by now if I was a good wife that is. When my husband pointed out I have endometriosis and was in pain so needed some rest she told him that I was faking it and that there’s no such thing because she’s never had period pain.”
“I’m fuming and decide to walk out to them and tell her to leave. She told me I can’t tell her to leave when it’s her son’s house.”
“I paid the majority of the costs for the house but I still consider it OUR house.”
“I threw her stuff in a bin bag and threw it onto our driveway and told her to leave. She left in the end and although my husband backs me he believes I went too far and I’m getting some very abusive messages from his family.”
“I’m really sensitive due to my endometriosis because I had a miscarriage last year which his mother knows about and at the time accused me of murdering my husbands child.”
“Honestly I think I’ve been calm and polite for way too long. I accepted her calling me a murderer because I thought it was her grieving for her grandchild but now I just can’t put up with her anymore.”
“I think I’m in the right….. so reddit aita?”
Anonymous strangers on the internet were asked if and where guilt belongs by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
This Redditor lost patience over a frequently touted misconception.
“N T A. So tired of in-laws declaring that shared houses belong to The Man only.”
“You were letting her stay in YOUR shared house! You showed her hospitality and she immediately talks trash the second you excuse yourself for feeling unwell.”
“Knowing your history with miscarriages and continuing to make disgusting comments about it, FOOLISH. Atrocious behavior. You are NOT a baby machine to produce grandchildren for her.”
“YEET her. NTA.” – pintopetz
Others familiar with the pain of endometriosis commiserated with the OP.
“Endo is no joke. It’s more than just standard period pain; it’s excruciating and there are other symptoms as well. It’s also wildly under-diagnosed.”
“OP, you’re NTA. I’m proud of you for showing her the door. Zero tolerance for disrespect in your home.” – Spoonbills
But even those who’ve never suffered from the disability were not as dismissive and unsympathetic as the MIL.
“I’m lucky enough to only suffer mild cramps but I’ve seen women who can barely walk, doubled over and sobbing their eyes out, but refusing to rest or seek help because women like OP’s MIL have gaslighted them into believing that period pain isn’t a big issue and something they should just deal with.” – olivia_mackenzie
“Jesus yeah, absolutely ignorant and insensitive of her to assume that everyone’s experience is the same as hers.”
“I experience really severe migraines along with my period which can leave me out for an entire day from the nausea and pain!! Yikes!!”
“NTA at all, you’re standing up to unacceptable behaviour coming from your MIL.” – shibalovebug
“This! I have endometriosis. I have literally passed out from the pain before.”
“Just because the MIL doesn’t suffer from pain doesn’t mean the rest of us are so lucky. She’s also a horrible Catholic if she believes period pains are made up because the bible makes it pretty clear that they are ‘punishment’ for original sin (unless she thinks every woman since Eve has been faking it).” – cynicallycharged
Redditor Slythx was very unforgiving for how the MIL treated the OP.
“Holy sh*t NTA. – Yor MIL is disgusting.”
“Accusing you of killing a child because you went through something traumatic?”
“I hope your husband decides you all need to go no contact, but even if he doesn’t, you absolutely should never allow her in the house again. She’s a gross human being.”
The OP responded to the above comment with gratitude but also justified her course of action against the MIL.
“Thank you, it’s a shame for my husband because they were always very very close and I wouldn’t want to take anyone’s mother away but it’s toxic situation that I can’t mentally cope being in.”
And Slythx identified who the culprit really is behind the family drama.
“She would be severing the relationship, not you. He needs to realize that his mother is flat out abusing you and being wretched.”
“A person wouldn’t want someone around who pulls sh*t like that on someone they love. Hopefully he comes to his senses.”
This Redditor agreed that the husband needs to step it up more for the OP.
“The fact that you even let her stay in the first place after she called you a murderer for having a miscarriage is more than most would have done.”
“It’s OK to feel bad for your husband that his mother is awful, but he needs to be backing you up and not making you feel guilty for what she has caused.”
“If her other family members love her so much, they can put her up.” – moonlitnights
No updates yet on the outcome, but fingers crossed.