There are tasks that we just have to complete if we want to consider ourselves as adults, and one of those is simply learning how to pack a proper bag for travel purposes.
Even as well-adjusted adults, we might forget to pack something from time to time, reasoned out the members of the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit, but how we handle that mishap says a lot more about us than the missed item does.
Redditor No-Film3227 was grossed out and furious when his brother- and sister-in-law came to visit, and his brother-in-law realized that he did not pack enough underwear.
Not only did his wife volunteer some of his new, expensive underwear to his brother-in-law, but the Original Poster (OP) was alarmed when his brother-in-law attempted to return them to him, with stains.
He asked the sub:
“AITAH for being furious about my wife letting my brother-in-law (BIL) wear my underwear?”
The OP went through an unexpected mishap while his brother-in-law was visiting.
“My wife’s sister and her husband came into town to stay over at our house for a few days to celebrate my wife’s great-grandma’s birthday, as well as one of our nieces’ birthdays (separate days).”
“Something important to note is that I recently bought new underwear (a few pairs), it was a slight splurge considering it’s underwear, but still in the affordable range for me. It was worth it, and they’re fantastic.”
“We were all getting ready to head out to my in-laws for dinner. After I got out of the shower, I was looking for a specific pair of underwear that I knew for a fact I hadn’t worn yet. My wife saw me searching through drawers and asked what I was looking for, and I told her.”
“She said she let my BIL wear them, and I calmly asked why the f**k would she do that? Where were his underwear? She told me that he underpacked and he was gonna buy some more on the way home from dinner.”
“I just said okay and picked a different pair, but in my mind, I was slightly annoyed because what grown man can’t calculate how much underwear he needs?”
The underwear were returned to the OP soon enough.
“We went to the dinner, and everything was fine, and by that point, I had mostly taken my mind off the underwear situation. After dinner, we all went back home, and I took a shower to rinse off for the night.”
“After getting dressed, I went to the laundry room to toss my wife’s clothes and my clothes in there. When I went in, wouldn’t you know it? I see my underwear that’s been lent out to BIL balled up on the floor.”
“I picked it up and toss it in the wash. (In our house, we just toss dirty clothes into the wash and wash when it gets full. Since it wasn’t full yet, I didn’t start the machine. This is important context.)”
But lending them out came at a gross price.
“A few hours ago, my wife and I were putting on some new bedsheets and covers we bought. She said she was gonna take the dirty ones and throw them in the wash and also sort through what’s currently in the wash while she was there because she wants to wash a few specific dresses or something separately.”
“I said okay and went to the home office to finish up some work. About ten minutes went by, and my wife started yelling like crazy for me to come to the laundry room.”
“I went and she was p**sed with me for putting ‘filthy underwear’ in the wash and letting it sit there. I was confused because we always put our underwear together, so what’s new?”
“Until she clarified and showed me my underwear that BIL borrowed had mad skid marks in them.”
The OP was furious.
“I was p**sed, too. I was a victim of touching those with my bare hands as well. And those were brand new (and pretty premium) underwear. And even if they were cheap underwear, I would’ve still been upset.”
“I told her that if I knew BIL had s**t stains in them, I would’ve thrown them in the trash, but also that she let him borrow them without asking me in the first place.”
“She said I was being petty and said that family looks out for each other and somehow doesn’t want me to say anything to BIL.”
“If I’m actually being an a** about the underwear, I’ll be more than glad to make up for it.”
“Am I the a**hole here?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some simply didn’t understand how a person could “underpack” something as simple as underwear.
“NTA, your BIL is disgusting and obviously has no shame. Also, how do you underpack underwear?!” – AdEmergency9489
“I mean, if you have a tendency to s**t your pants, there needs to be an adjustment to two to three pairs per day for trips. Then you’re just disgusting but not a child.” – Defiant-Name-7685
“I allot two pairs of undies per day when I travel, and I don’t even wear undies anymore. The BIL is a gross AH.” – TheDrunkScientist
“I don’t have a tendency to s**t my pants, but I always pack extra pairs because you never know what could happen.” – bekahjo19
“If you’ve s**t yourself at least once (like me) or even had staining during travel. You never forget, and pack extras, because ‘you never know what could happen.'”
“It’s not like underwear takes up a whole bunch of space. This is just childlike behavior by the BIL. Plain and simple.” – Defiant-Name-7685
“NTA. Lending out someone’s underwear without asking is already over the line. Lending it to a grown man who returns it with skid marks is worse.” – CloudyHuggs
“OHMIGOD. What the f**k is wrong with your BIL? First, he can’t calculate how much underwear he needs for a trip, and then he can’t properly wipe his own a**? Is he FIVE YEARS OLD, for f**k’s sake?! NTA.”
“P.S. If you wanna be a passive-aggressive prick (which I totally think you should be in this case), buy him a pack of underwear every single Christmas from this year forward.” – Ok-Appearance-866
Others agreed and argued this wasn’t an item of clothing to “share.”
“He wrecked the extra pairs he packed. I mean, who underpacks and has to go shopping for more? Ask to use the washing machine to do a small load.”
“I get that family helps, but would your wife allow her sister to borrow her new underwear? I highly doubt it, and that is also one garment you simply don’t lend out.” – RaptorOO7
“Call me crazy, but I would never borrow someone’s underwear, nor would I wear a pair of my underwear that’s been borrowed. Is this normal?” – saintandvillain
“Do you have a sister? If so, take a pair of your wife’s underwear, tell her you lent them to your sister, then return them with ‘period’ stains on them.”
“Just dump some Jell-O on them and go nuts. You can wash them and return them to her with bright pink stains, or even slip them back in her drawer like nothing’s amiss. She’ll start to get it.” – Ok-Appearance-866
“I wouldn’t even borrow my mom’s underwear. If someone wore mine, I wouldn’t want them back.” – angel_eyes00
“Okay, first of all, what kind of person wears another person’s underwear that is like weird and creepy, and also dude needs to learn how to wipe; that is nasty.”
“I could see a situation where BIL mentions he needs to run out and get undies, and his sister says, ‘My husband has some brand new, unused pairs. You can have a pair, and then replace them.’ Leaving poop stained underwear on someone else’s floor is a whole other ball game.” – Glittering_knives
“I certainly would not want under back after they had been lent out.”
“Like, okay, the BIL needed underwear. Who hasn’t traveled and discovered something they thought they packed didn’t make it into the luggage; ergo, underpacked. Or maybe he just soiled all of his. The reason isn’t very important.”
“Wife finds a new pair and lends it to BIL. Might want to check with hubby first… but still no AH yet.”
“But, you don’t ‘lend’ underwear; you gift it! ‘Here you go, it is yours, keep it!'”
“BIL shows his gratitude by giving you something back. Ideas could be: one (or more) pair of the premium underwear, or picking up the check at a nice dinner (assuming that is worth as much or more than the fancy underwear).”
“Why do to even consider picking them up, taking them back, washing them… ??!? They are his now, and he owes you for covering his a**!” – Relative-Cream
“My sister and mom have loaned me underwear in the past, and I’ve never thought twice about it because they’re clean and washed. I’ve even borrowed my best friend’s underwear before. In most circumstances, it probably isn’t normal, but with immediate family, it’s fine in my opinion, especially if you guys are close.”
“But to each their own. I definitely wouldn’t be okay with my SIL borrowing my underwear w/out asking.”
“Also, they were unstained when I got them and unstained when I gave them back. If there were skid marks or period blood, I wouldn’t borrow them and would buy them new underwear if I ruined them. Leaving them on your ground with skid marks is abhorrent. NTA.” – scummbucket05
The subReddit could not have been more disgusted by this brother-in-law’s actions if they tried, and they completely understood why the OP was upset with his brother-in-law and with his wife for volunteering his possessions in the first place.
It might be one thing if someone accidentally underpacked and went to the store to buy more, or even borrowed a brand new pair from a family member with the intention of replacing them. But ruining them and returning them as if everything was okay was diabolical and just so very gross.