Weddings are stressful on people. Of course the bride and groom and those involved in the wedding, but it’s a lot for other people coming to the event too.
Redditor OoohhhCanadaaa is having an issue with her sister. The original poster (OP)’s sister has requested that her wedding be postponed.
OP obviously doesn’t want to do that, but is worried after her sister reacts badly. To figure out if she was wrong, OP took her story to the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
“AITA For not delaying my wedding because my sister is going through a terrible divorce?”
The sister’s story is a little out there:
“My sister Rachel is separating from her husband Mark. Somebody anonymously sent Mark a letter in the mail claiming their three kids werent his (ages 1, 3 and 4).”
“Mark took a paternity test because the letter was so detailed he had a feeling it might be true. The results came back and he wasn’t the father of any of the kids.”
“Mark now wants nothing to do with my sister or my nieces and nephew. It’s been hard on her and everyone has been shaken.”
But how does this affect OP?
“The problem is My fiancé and I are getting married soon. Everything is set for the end of October and everyone is excited, but Rachel. She’s told me multiple times to change the wedding date so she can heal from the trauma of her husband abandoning her and their children.”
“I told her no and she burst into tears claiming I wasn’t being supportive and she wasn’t coming. My fiancé’s family have all booked time off to come to this wedding because they live out of state. She claims I’m choosing his family over her.”
In the end it is OP’s wedding, but that doesn’t mean she shouldn’t consider her sister’s feelings. Users of the AITA subReddit judged OP based on her story.
This was done by including one of the following in their comment:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
OP’s wedding doesn’t have to be adjusted around her sister’s feelings. The fact that her sister’s situation was her own fault doesn’t help.
The commenters determined that OP was not wrong.
“Your sister caused much of her own ‘trauma’. She lied and I would assume cheated on her husband so he left her.”
“She wasn’t just abandoned. Enjoy your wedding. Probably best if she wasn’t there anyways.” – Widgetsinparadise
“NTA OP, you already had the day basically ready, people already have that time off, (and personal bias, halloween wedding? That better go through.) Your sister talks about getting over trauma, yet shes the one that I’m sure broke a man?”
“Enjoy your wedding and bust out a monster bash. She can take this time to either look for a sitter for the kids or learn how to deal with her own choices in life.” – UnluckyBid7655
“NTA. If she wanted to politely decline the invite, that’d be one thing. I’d be inclined to be pretty magnanimous about it.”
“But asking you to reschedule? Yeah, no. It’s on her to bear the consequences/fallout of her own shitty actions. Not on everyone else.”
“So keep your wedding date. And just in case, maybe assign a trusted family member/friend to keep an eye on her during the event. In case she needs a shoulder to cry on or (god forbid) throws a tantrum or something.” – PARA9535307
“That’s actually a good idea. Last week was our moms birthday and Rachel had an absolute meltdown accusing random people that they wrote the letter to her husband.” – OoohhhCanadaaa (OP)
“People will focus on the fact your sister cheated and got caught. That has no bearing on your choice not to move your wedding date.”
“Even if your sister’s husband was the villain here, you would have no obligation to move the wedding date.”
“Your sister’s situation may mean she is unable to celebrate your marriage. She is not the star of the wedding. You are.”
“Good luck and congratulations!!” – Infamous-Wasabi-9007
Other commenters were very interested in OP’s sister situation.
“All three of their children aren’t his? That she repeatedly cheated on her husband and is now dealing with the consequences does not mean you don’t get to move along with your life’s plan.”
“How would that sound, anyway? I’m postponing my wedding so my sister that basically cheated on her husband 3’x can feel supported.”
“NTA” – CaliforniaJade
“What’s her explanation regarding the paternity?” – curvycurly
“So Rachel confessed she believes her children are fathered by different men. According to her these men are married and have very respectful jobs.”
“She says she doesn’t want to ruin their lives. Rachel works at the hospital and I have a hunch she slept with the doctors or surgeons there. Also if she exposed these men it could ruin her life also.”
“The anonymous individual who wrote the letter claimed that they were having a lengthy affair with Rachel. They said their certain their the father of one of the kids, but has no interested in stepping up because they don’t like kids.”
“The letter writer also confessed that when he tried to end the affair Rachel got super obsessive and ‘dangerous’. Rachel wanted to expose him to his wife and colleagues.”
“I guess they wrote the letter to Mark so he could put a stop to this.” – OoohhhCanadaaa (OP)
“Good lord! NTA – enjoy your wedding and definitely have someone trusted chaperone her if she decides to attend.”
“INFO: what is your family saying about all of this?? Surely they don’t think you should reschedule … I mean Rachel really f*cked up here and you shouldn’t suffer because of that.” – lilkrill
“My family thinks what Rachel did was horrible and have no problem with the wedding date. Our mom on the other hand took pity on Rachel and told me that maybe I can move my wedding date.”
“My maternal grandma told her to shut up and my mom hasn’t asked me to move the date since.” – OoohhhCanadaaa (OP)
OP’s sister should maybe skip the wedding if she doesn’t feel emotionally up to attending the wedding, but she’s in no position to demand OP reschedule it.