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Woman Calls Out Her Parents For Making Her Choose Between Celebrating Christmas And Her Birthday As A Kid

Davide Zanin/EyeEm via Getty Images

Some birthdays are better than others. For those kids born right around the holidays, it could go either way.

Some receive double gifts or double attention, but all that euphoria must be weighed against the whole rest of the year without any personalized celebration.

But for others, like Redditor bigpotatofat, it’s 100% bad. She posted about her years of experience with the big days overlapping on the “Am I the A**hole (AITA)” subReddit.

The Original Poster (OP) outlined that tensions were high with the post’s title. 

“AITA for calling my parents a**holes for what they did to my birthday?”

OP began by giving a clear sense of how her was treated growing up. 

“I [21-year-old female] was one of those kids who was born on Christmas Day. Which I wouldn’t have minded at all if my parents treated this normally…”

“for example my friend’s boyfriend was also born on Christmas and he said his parents would do his birthday in the morning and Christmas in the afternoon and I wouldn’t have minded that at all.”

“However my parents said it was greedy to have two celebrations on one day so I had to choose between having Christmas with everyone else (my family and extended family) or have my birthday on Boxing Day and not take part in Christmas (I wouldn’t have any presents or the chocolates and stuff everyone else would, I wasn’t even allowed to help with the Christmas tree).”

OP went on to share how that felt. 

“This was pretty sh**, either I had Christmas with everyone and wasn’t even wished happy birthday and because we wouldn’t be at school I never got happy birthdays from my friends, or I was completely left out during Christmas and had a birthday where everyone was still focused on Christmas.”

“And if I chose birthday my parents would tell my extended family I didn’t want Christmas and if I chose Christmas they said I didn’t want my birthday so I didn’t get both from my extended family.”

“It made my childhood absolute hell and ruined holidays for me. My first Christmas/ birthday away from home was probably the best day of my life.”

And recently, those old emotions were rekindled. 

“Well cuz of [the virus] my family were talking about doing a zoom call for Christmas and my mum said ‘well I guess OP gets to chose to be part of the Christmas call or we call her on Boxing Day for her birthday.'”

“I don’t know why but I just blew up and called her an a**hole and said they ruined my childhood.”

“It’s not like they couldn’t afford it my family is probably in the top 1% of the country money wise and even so I could’ve still taken part in festivities and only had one present.”

“But my brothers are calling me selfish and my auntie says I need to apologise. And it’s Christmas so I feel like I should.”

Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
  • NAH – No A**holes Here

Most Redditors shared OP’s outrage. They assured her she wasn’t the a**hole. 

Many of them kept their comments short and to the point. 

“NTA your parents are a**holes.”

“Happy birthday” — HorseWithNoNames

“NTA. Your family sucks, they really suck. Why talk to them still?” — Trenvilla

“NTA. What were they thinking? What are they thinking? Why would anyone do that to their kid?” — xwordmom

“NTA: Their argument is so illogical it hurts my brain.” — margherita


Some expressed their rage in slightly more expanded form. 

NTA. Who the hell does that? Almost cartoonishly evil.”

“Do they twirl their moustache and/or pet a big white cat? Do they spend a lot of time in the completely remodeled basement filled with technology and laser sharks where you are not allowed?”

“Oh, in my time zone it just became Christmas: Happy birthday AND merry Christmas!!!” — WallabyInTraining

“I’ve never understood that attitude either, I have a sister whose birthday is Dec 28. My parents are shitty in a lot of ways but always made sure to celebrate her birthday separately.”

“People born during the rest of the year get a birthday and Christmas. It’s the same amount either way, just closer together.” ~ jeopardy_themesong

“NTA. As the mother of a Christmas Eve child, your family sucks, your mother in particular. Please don’t ever celebrate her birthday again, because after all she chose to celebrate Christmas.” — wind-river7

“Your parents are weird and petty as f***. Why wouldn’t you want your kid to be celebrated on their birthday? Why shouldn’t you be included in Christmas? It’s insane. You’re NTA , I’m sorry they did that to you.” — AmazingRise

Some offered up suggestions for how to confront her parents in the snarkiest way possible. 

“NTA They want you to apologize. Then apologize. But do it like this.”

“I’m sorry I was born on Christmas. I guess I should have picked a different day to come out. Even though my choices were limited when you f***ed in late March.” — The_Big_Red_Wookie

“NTA. ‘No thanks mom, spending Christmas and birthdays with people who don’t make me choose.’” — Jovet_Hunter

“NTA tell your auntie that you’ll apologize when they all apologize for making your childhood shi**y” — EricaCampbellFan

The OP returned with an update.


“I went to bed last night and woke up to about a million notifications. I’m sorry but I don’t think I can get through everyone but I’m definitely trying to!!”

“I’ve had the best birthday/Christmas!! My best friend got me a Nintendo switch!!”

“And we’re going to have a huge gaming competition together and we got leftovers of KFC for lunch!!”

“Thank you all so much for the birthday and Christmas wishes I feel so honoured ! I love you all!!!”

We hope that someday in the near future OP can find the right people who will give her the time of day for her big day.

Written by Eric Spring

Eric Spring lives in New York City. He has poor vision and cooks a good egg. Most of his money is spent on live music and produce. He usually wears plain, solid color sweatshirts without hoods because he assumes loud patterns make people expect something big. Typically, he'll bypass a handshake and go straight for the hug.