Having a baby can put a cramp in a lot of the freedoms of life.
That is just part of the package.
So one has to find ways to get alone time or time to do the stuff we think are fun.
But at what expense?
Case in point…
Redditor Sadiawil977 wanted to discuss her story for some feedback. So naturally she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for interrupting my husband’s ‘Live stream’ and going off on him after he ‘forgot’ to feed and change our daughter’s diaper?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My F[emale] 32 husband M[ale 35 I has a YouTube channel with over 14k followers.”
“He’s been doing live streaming a lot lately even though I told him that we have responsibilities to take care of.”
“Before our daughter (she’s 7 months old) was born he’d stream randomly and spend lot of time with his ‘followers.'”
“Answering questions and engaging in conversations.”
“He keeps saying that his followers are good for his mental health and that engaging with them weekly makes him become better at socializing and communicating.”
“He’s been complaining about wanting to do a live stream for days.”
“I told him we’d look at our schedule and see if we could get him some time to make it happen.”
“Apparently, this wasn’t good enough.”
“Yesterday I had to go grocery shopping and asked him to keep an eye on our daughter while she was asleep.”
“He said okay.”
“I was gone for 4hrs but kept calling him to see if everything was OK.”
“He’d tell me she was alright and that she was sleeping.”
“I started getting this weird feeling something was wrong because, she must’ve had been hungry or needed a diaper change.”
“He argued that everything was fine.”
“I immediately went home and when I entered the house I didn’t find him, I shouted his name but got nothing.”
“I went into the bedroom and saw that my daughter was awake and her diaper wasn’t changed.”
“And worse was that her bottle wasn’t even touched.”
“I was confused.”
“I got out and noticed that his office’s door was closed.”
“I figured he was doing a live streaming from the noise I heard.”
“I was beyond seething.”
“I barged into the office and saw him sitting.”
“I blew up while he was trying to turn his mic off and telling me to stop but I didn’t stop.”
“I berated him for leaving our daughter unattended and with no milk nor diaper change.”
“He freaked out on me saying I just ended his entire channel and destroyed his fan base for interrupting his live stream and embarrassing and scandalized him like that.”
“I told him to not say a word but he kept yelling calling me out of control and unhinged.”
“He was almost crying so I had to leave the office.”
“He kept fighting with me until I decided to go stay with my mom.”
“He started blaming me for ignoring his needs after he already expressed them and that he forgot to do what I asked him and I’d cost him so much.”
“Now he’s telling me to come back home because he misses his daughter.”
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.
It’s a tricky situation.
Let’s hear some thoughts…
“NTA – Dude was straight up neglecting his human child for some twitch viewers.”
“If I EVER caught my husband doing that, I’d be reevaluating the marriage.”
“A child’s well-being and safety should be his first priority, not worrying about his subscribers.” ~ notlucyintheskye
“OP, NTA but YWBTA if you go back without a serious conversation about what it means to be a parent and honestly maybe counseling.”
“This is huge in my opinion.”
“I can’t fathom my husband leaving our daughter unattended like that.”
“On top of being neglectful, It’s also a huge breach of trust (he LIED to you multiple times) and a sign he doesn’t view the parenting workload as his responsibility.” ~ vanillaragdoll
“He’s more interested in the immediate feeling a parasocial relationship can give him, rather than putting in the work to be a good father and partner.”
“He likely has needs that haven’t been able to be met since the baby was born, because babies change things.”
“But rather than communicate that to his wife, he goes and tries to meet that need in a parasocial relationship that also likely feeds his ego.” ~ s0rdiid
“NTA. Jumping on to say, I read this to my husband, and in between his hysterical laughter he managed to gasp out ‘they would never find my body if I did that.'”
“He neglected your very young child for HOURS cause he wanted attention from randos online.”
“You need marriage counseling or a divorce lawyer.”
“I would have taken a hammer to his computer over neglect and endangerment of my children (he clearly never checked on her).” ~ Other_Personalities
“What also bothers me is that OP has to ask for help with the daughter as if she is solely responsible and must arrange care.”
“He is also a parent and should be equally responsible.”
“Watching and caring for his daughter should be second nature and not a burden on the wife to have to ask.”
“And certainly not forgotten.” ~ ColoradoWeasel
“NTA – LET’S BE HONEST HERE.”
“He was feeding his ego.”
“His ego was more important than his daughter by his actions.”
“Using mental health was obviously a cop out and I’m tired of people using mental health as a reason to be inconsiderate A H’s.” ~ Rough-Rip-81
“My husband streams games 3 night a week but he goes doesn’t start till my youngest is asleep.”
“If my oldest wants to give him one last hug he stops and comes up and gives her one.”
“If both are having a rough time (I had a break down cause neither wanted to sleep and it was 11pm) and I need him he cuts early.”
“Hell go play off stream occasionally but asks if I’m cool with it.”
“He knows the kids come first even though it’s his outlet to let off steam.” ~ trishymonster1
“I follow a streamer whose wife just had their third.”
“He’s got adorable kids and he cancels stream when he has to pitch in.”
“If OP’s husband is decent, his stream will be fine.”
“If he is a boring streamer he doesn’t have much to lose.” ~ GirlnextDior
“NTA. He has a social media addiction.”
“What he did was unconscionable.”
“And the fact that he had an absolute TANTRUM and explosive upset over you potentially embarrassing him in front of his followers or ruining his ‘channel.'”
“And not the fact that HE LEFT HIS INFANT CHILD SITTING HUNGRY AND IN A SOILED DIAPER so that he could TALK AT A BUNCH OF COMPLETE STRANGERS is horrifying.”
“And inexplicable by any other reasoning.”
“And by the way, his whole ‘mental health’ argument doesn’t make this better.”
“Any therapist worth their salt would raise a serious eyebrow at the fact that he claims that he desperately ‘needs’ the adulation and interaction with thousands of strangers ‘for his mental health.'”
“That isn’t mental health, it’s addiction.”
“And I say that as a housebound disabled person whose social life revolves entirely around online things.”
“But there is a vast difference between connecting with friends and having meaningful relationships with individuals online.”
“And claiming that you NEED to interact with thousands of strangers – with an AUDIENCE – to the point that you start to get jittery and panicked if you don’t, and will neglect your family, your infant child, just to get your ‘fix.'”
“Every single thing you describe shouts ‘addiction.'”
“Don’t go home until he agrees to get professional help.”
“His craving for an audience, the fact that he can’t live without it, and that he will do things detrimental to his family and to your child if it means getting in front of an audience… that’s not mental health, it’s addiction.”
“And his is out of control.”
DO NOT GO HOME until he acknowledges that he has lost control of this, and he needs help, and shows you that he is taking steps to get it.”
“You are NTA, but this isn’t a small thing.”
“An addict cannot be trusted because they’ll say or do anything to get what they need.”
“You’ve seen that now with your child.” ~ FoolMe1nceShameOnU
“Nobody is touching on the fact that not only did he neglect the baby, he LIED multiple times on the phone that he was caring for her and that she was okay.”
“The only way OP could be the AH in this situation is if she leaves the baby alone with him again without supervision.”
“He completely betrayed her trust at the risk of their child’s safety and wellbeing.”
“This is so many layers of f**ked up.” ~ _LaVidaBuena
Well OP, Reddit sounds firm here.
It maybe time for therapy and ground rules regarding the home life.
Baby health and both of your safety comes first.
Good luck.