Woman Called Out For Sitting Near Fully-Clothed Breastfeeding Mom In The Shade At A Park

It's summertime, and parts of the world are hotter than hot.

Currently, Europe is swaddled in a record-shattering heat wave.

When outside, this is the time of year when people hunt for a bit of shade.

Sometimes, everyone may have to share a little shade.

Not everyone likes to share.

Redditor grey_sycamore wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback, so naturally, she came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit.

She asked:

"AITA for sitting near a breastfeeding mother at a park?"

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

"Hi, I'm 27 F[emale], and my B[oy]F[riend], 26 M[ale], went to a local park where there were some food trucks, and we got dinner."

"After that, my boyfriend needed to wash his hands, so we went over towards the bathroom. "

"This was a very hot, sunny day, and there were some tables near the restroom, but only one was in the shade."

"There was a woman breastfeeding, fully covered, sitting at the only shaded table."

"These were 4-sided tables."

"I sat on the opposite side of the table facing away, and the woman gave me a look; I said, 'I'm just waiting,' implying I wasn't trying to like set up shop at the same table."

"She turned away and said, 'There are plenty of other tables.'"

"I responded, 'I wanted to sit in the shade.'"

"I just got up and left to sit somewhere else because I don't like conflict."

"Keep in mind, there were lots of people in the park, I wasn't trying to be creepy on a woman with her baby, I promise."

"I understand that since I was only waiting a few minutes, I could have sat in the sun, but I had been in the sun for a long time, and it was extremely hot, so I just wanted a moment to sit in the shade and didn't think it would be wrong since it was a shared space."

The OP was left to wonder:

"AITA?"

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:

• NTA – Not The A**hole
• YTA – You're The A**hole
• NAH – No A**holes Here
• ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
• INFO - More Information Needed

Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.

"NAH. I think socially, at least in my culture, it would be common courtesy to say, 'Would it be alright if I sat here? and possibly mention the shade."

"Just sitting down at an already occupied table could be a bit awkward."

"I feel like this goes for other shared spaces like buses, cafes, bus stop benches, etc."

"If there are other open seats and someone sits right next to me, it feels weird." ~ Logical_Pineapple499

"NAH. Here’s the thing."

"Breastfeeding is a uniquely vulnerable experience."

"Especially in the US."

"There are so many stories of women being shamed or harassed while simply trying to feed their kids in public."

"Also, it’s something that is much harder to do if you’re stressed."

"Like when a stranger sits down at the table you’re at unexpectedly."

"I really don’t think you can understand how vulnerable you feel while breastfeeding."

"And while it’s natural, it is by no means easy, especially for a lot of moms."

"So no, you’re not an a**hole for wanting to be in the shade, but that mom reacted pretty honestly, I’d say." ~ willreadforbooks

"NAH. Public table, anyone can sit down at an open chair."

"However, a woman sitting alone breastfeeding her child in public is certainly warranted in being annoyed at a stranger sitting down directly across from her when there are multiple other empty tables." ~ bluntland

"I’m a breastfeeding woman, NTA."

"I don’t expect people to give me a 10-foot bubble or anything."

"Honestly, I prefer it if they just go about their business like normal." ~ NegotiationOk1134

"I’m a breastfeeding mother. NTA."

"You said you sat facing away from her, not even using the table."

"She’s not entitled to a whole empty table and seats at a public park." ~ Leading-Case-1048

"NTA -- I've breastfed 2 babies so far, including out in public, probably hundreds of times. On days when I really wanted privacy, I would (follow me closely here...) find a private place to nurse."

"If such a place was not convenient to access (which was usually the case), then I would nurse in public, knowing that the inherent tradeoff is that public places don't offer as much privacy."

"Duh. If a nursing mom is mad about someone sitting near her while she's breastfeeding in public, then she's trying to have her cake and eat it too -- convenience and privacy -- in a situation where she really can't have both."

"We're not entitled to police people existing in public."

"For those arguing that OP has an obligation to give the nursing mom space..."

" (1) Does this obligation outweigh her right to seek shade?"

"Also, (2) are we trying to normalize breastfeeding or not? Because 'breastfeeding is normal and should not be stigmatized or hidden away' and 'stay away from the nursing lady' sound mutually exclusive." ~ Impossible_Fault_796

"NTA... normally, of course, choose another table, but the sun/shade situation does change things rather."

"Objecting to another woman with her back to you at the other side of a public table sounds pretty ah ish on her part, actually." ~ Spare_Necessary_810

"NTA, but cut her some slack."

"Raising young babies is hell on earth for a lot of people, and a sleep-deprived brain doesn't adapt well to change."

"She was expecting a moment of peace in her hellscape of a day, nursing her baby outside in the shade, and her bubble was invaded by a stranger."

"Did she have a right to have the table all to herself?"

"Of course not."

"But she likely has very good reason to be cranky."

"Sometimes we have friction with other people in the world for reasons that aren't clear."

"Just move on with your day." ~ RIPMichaelPool

"NTA- public seating means anyone can sit there."

"By a bathroom?"

"Even more so."

"You faced away and didn’t crowd her."

"Parents are so entitled nowadays." ~ g00die720

"NTA. I do understand that it's a public space, but I do think you could have politely just mentioned, 'Hope I'm not disturbing you. Just need a few minutes of shade,' as you sat down to make it less weird or off-putting." ~ jus-fax101

"NTA. I have no problem with mothers breastfeeding in public; it's natural and not shameful at all."

"HOWEVER, you can't do it and expect the public to become private because you chose to pull a tit*y out." ~ shelaughs08

"Not the same in all countries, of course, but in the US, it’s generally considered quite rude to just sit yourself down at a table where a stranger is already sitting, even if you’re 'just waiting.'"

"Here, yes, YTA."

"Politely asking if she’d mind you sitting because it’s the only shade (but respecting if she said she’d prefer not) would be different." ~ ImColdandImTired

"Slight YTA."

"The polite thing to do would have been to ask before you sat down, whether she was breastfeeding or not."

"Are you allowed to sit at the table without asking?"

"Sure, but that's not what the sub is meant to judge."

"We're judging whether if it was an AH move, and I do think it was, at least a little." ~ somuchsong

"Absolutely NTA."

"You acted appropriately, like it was no big deal that she was breastfeeding in public, which is what people should do because she's simply feeding her child."

"However, SHE made it an issue because of her comment."

"If SHE felt uncomfortable, she should have gone elsewhere." ~ Impressive_Duck_3569

"YTA. You sat next to a stranger with their breast out, cover or not, in a vulnerable position, feeding their child, and you’re wondering if you were the a**hole?" ~ MistyMountainDewDrop

"NAH. When I breastfed in public, I did my best to be discreet, but you did nothing wrong."

"Once I breastfed my infant at an outdoor restaurant in a zoo because she was hungry."

"I was prepared for someone to come at me, and I was going to say, we're in a zoo, the animals do it too, but no one did."

"Seriously, it made my day."

"No one said anything, and most people would have noticed a screaming baby more than a breastfeeding mother."

"She's maybe still trying to get comfortable with it, and that is ok." ~ RhineStonedCowgirl

"NTA. I think you just triggered a maternal instinct."

"You didn't do anything wrong, but to her, it appeared as if you went out of your way to sit at her table as she was trying to feed her baby."

"She probably wasn't even factoring in the shade vs the sun." ~ drharleenquinzel92

"NTA. I breastfed 4 kids, and this should not have been a big deal, especially as you were facing away from her on the opposite side of the table."

"The ONLY reason I can think of for her needing you to leave is if you were a distraction to the baby - some babies get distracted and won't eat."

"But given all the other activity, that seems highly unlikely." ~ ktgrok

"NAH. Breastfeeding aside, I’d be weirded out if I were surrounded by empty tables and someone chose to sit at mine without even asking."

"That said, you’re also equally entitled to the park space."

"Just next time, know it’s common courtesy to ask before sitting down at someone’s table or just stand in the shade." ~ AdriMtz27

"NTA, I will never understand why people with kids have this overly entitled attitude to everything."

"You have just as much right to be there as anyone else."

"Does she own the park?"

"People who expect passengers to switch airplane seats because their kid wants a window seat." ~ Pretend-Olive-3964•

"NTA. Why do we even have public tables if somebody can just claim the whole thing?"

"If this lady had an issue with privacy during breastfeeding, she easily could have gone somewhere private." ~ petridish21

Reddit seems to agree with your choice to sit down.

It was hot; you needed shade.

It sounds like there was room at the table.

Some people are just touchy around strangers.

Keep cool.