The daunting task of carefully choosing a roommate is worth taking the time for, otherwise, it could wind up being a disaster.
Such is the risk involved to offset rental expenses until you can afford to live on your own.
Redditor JustBargeRightIn picked someone based on the goodness of his heart, but he did not predict that his new roommate would come with a frequent and problematic houseguest.
After an unpleasant surprise became a tipping point in making a decision that was a long time coming, he took to the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit and asked:
“AITA for kicking my roommate out for something that her friend did?”
The Original Poster (OP) wrote:
“I am a 37 year old man and my roommate is an early-30s woman. I rent a two-bedroom house and it had a spare room, so I decided to look for a roommate last year.”
“I had a couple of people interested, but a friend asked me for a favor and I let her move in. She pays about 30% of the rent because that’s all she can afford.”
“My roommate has one particularly good friend who she invites over regularly. I do not like that woman at all. She is loud, self-centered, and has no concept of boundaries, property, or privacy.”
“She has ‘accidentally’ eaten my food and drunk my beer several times when she came over, and I have voiced my opinion about her to my roommate regularly.”
“My roommate’s response has always been ‘as long as I’m paying my part of the rent, the company I keep is between them and me.'”
After tolerating this friend’s behavior repeatedly, the next incident was the last straw.
“On Saturday night, she invited her friend over. As I often am in my room, I was completely naked, lying over my covers, reading a book. I like being naked and expect a reasonable amount of privacy from civilized people.”
“When my roommate was in the bathroom, my door flew open like it was rammed by a siege engine. Her friend had barged in to ‘surprise’ me, and instead of frantically apologizing for violating my privacy (and seeing me naked), she burst out laughing as I fumbled to cover myself.”
“By now my roommate had come out of the bathroom, and her friend shouted to her ‘I saw his little ____!’ My roommate snort-laughed loudly.”
Following the humiliating incident, the OP told the roommate it was time was to go and discouraged any attempt at damage control.
“The next morning my roommate was hung over, and so I told her that her time in the house was over and that she had a month to vacate.”
“I looked up the laws in my state, and since I am the only person on the lease, I can legally kick her out as long as I give her proper notice. She told me that she warned her roommate about privacy after what happened, and I told her I don’t care at all.”
“She brought that woman into the house, she was entertained by my embarrassment, and I wasn’t comfortable living with her for another day. I told her if it were legal I’d kick her out that second.”
“My roommate has been nasty with me all week, saying that she has nowhere to go. I don’t care and keep telling her that she might want to start looking.”
“Our mutual friend who I originally did the favor for has sided with her completely, and so I just blocked him.”
“Am I going too far here, or am I not the a””hole in this case?”
Anonymous strangers on the internet were asked if and where guilt belongs by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Most Redditors were all for the OP to send the roommate packing.
“NTA. HUGE violation of your privacy and as you have warned her multiple times in the past, it’s time for her to go and you to have a roommate that can respect others.”
“NTA. Your roommate is responsible for her guests behaviours.”
“Stealing by her friend would have been enough to kick her out. But laughing at you instead of kicking her friend out after she treated you like that was so far out of line she doesn’t deserve better.”
“She enabled her friend to make you feel unsafe for your privacy in your own home and nobody has to live with that. It’s just the consequences of her actions.” – justmy2centsforyou
“Letting her stay was also a favor. OP could have picked from numerous others but was very kind, even lessening her cut of the rent.”
“He deserves nothing but respect!” – Dr_Diablo_Lechuga
“NTA. A roommate is responsible for anyone they bring into the house. The fact that this wasn’t the first incident and your roommate wasn’t mortified by her friend’s behavior means that she’s a bad roommate and it’s time for her to go.”
“You’ve given her plenty of notice and have done all that is reasonable to keep your space yours. If she didn’t want to find a new place, she should’ve kept better company. Maybe this will be a learning experience.” – minizookeeper
“Also inform her that her friend is not allowed over anymore. Ever again.”
“Even if she still has a month, you should inform her that visitor privileges have been revoked.” – generic_bitch
The soon-to-be ex-roommate can consider this next option.
“IMO, she’s welcome to go move in with the rude friend.” – hungrydruid
Redditors also cautioned for the OP to leave a paper trail.
“NTA. You might want to make sure you send her the notice by email too so you have written proof she had it so you can legally change the lock and dump her stuff on the street in a month if she hasn’t done anything about getting another place.” – Reignbeaus
“Not just a good idea. Legally necessary (in most states). Everything needs to be in writing. Physical writing.”
“You don’t have to specify a reason. Date and sign what you send. Hand it to her personally and make sure she reads it. But first check whether your state requires service by certified mail.” – thehomie
“Sent to the op’s address? since she also lives there? I would do everything….send an email.”
“Send a certified letter. send a facebook message. Take out an ad in the local paper for notices. Literally everything you can think of just do so there is no question.” – GotchaMeow
This Redditor suggested for the OP to take precautions around the house for the remainder of the rent.
“NTA at all. You’ve been extremely patient with your roommate. Even if your roommate technically wasn’t the one who barged into your room, she is responsible for whoever she invites over and appears just as inconsiderate as her friend.”
“Her lack of understanding when you asked them stop taking your beers/food and inability to at least tell her friend off are basically a symptom of her lack of respect for you.”
“You’ve been kind to her asking for only 30% of rent and yet she is acting like you owe her the world.”
“Until her 30 days are up, make sure to keep your valuables safe and change the locks as soon as she is officially evicted.”
As far as his decision to kick his roommate out of the house, the OP said:
“I have a lot more confidence in my decision to kick her not only to, but well past the curb now.”
Redditors agreed the OP was taken advantage of and he was left with no choice.
Hopefully, his next roommate won’t be barging in on him during another private moment.