It’s Christmas time again.
Well, it was.
Hopefully you all had a great one.
As much as this time of year is brimming with holiday cheer and merriment, family drama is equally prevalent.
Getting together with your significant other’s family and learning how to create new traditions and become part of the standard traditions can be a recipe for disaster.
Especially once you throw religion and faith in the mix.
Case in point…
Redditor Winter-Strike1151 to discuss his story for some feedback. So naturally he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
He asked:
“AITA For not wanting to go to church on Christmas with husband and in-laws?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My husband’s family is Catholic and are very devoted to going to church, and particularly this Christmas because my niece was born earlier this month and they wanted the whole family over for Christmas including attending church.”
“My husband has stopped going to church except once or twice a year, and he mentioned to me that we both need to be at church on Christmas.”
“I am an atheist and everyone knows this, and this is my first Christmas with his family (we celebrated Christmas with his family on New Year’s Day the past 2 years, so this issue has not come up yet).”
“I told my husband that while I respect his family’s beliefs and that they will be going to church on Christmas, I do not want to go as I am very against going to a church as it goes against my beliefs.”
“We are gay and it is also expected that I avoid his grandma at this church as she is homophobic.”
“(For clarification, we have been married for over a year and she does not know he is married or that he is gay.)”
“(But that’s not my issue as I’m told she is a very nasty woman in general so I’m not looking to out my husband and have no desire to meet her).”
“I was also told by my mother in law that if anyone asks who I am, I need to tell them I am a good friend of my husband’s (aka not his husband).”
“Long story short, my husband told my mother in law that I do not want to go to church and said if I don’t go to church on Christmas then she will return all of my presents she bought me.”
“She spends a lot normally, and I never expect her to buy much at all, but I feel disrespected that she would say that after I already said I respect their beliefs and the fact they want to go is fine.”
“But that I would not attend as it goes against my beliefs.”
“I also think it might be a little manipulative to say I will not get presents if I do not go.”
“My husband agrees with his mom on this.”
“So… AITA for telling my husband and his family that I refuse to go to church on Christmas based on my beliefs?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.
It’s a tricky situation.
Let’s hear some thoughts…
“NTA. Start as you mean to continue.”
“’Your threats are very enlightening. Please count me out for church, and I agree it’s best that we don’t exchange gifts.’” ~ ScubaCC
“As someone who was raised in a devoutly Christian family, they will make up whatever bull to justify how they interpret their own beliefs to be convenient to whatever narrative they’re trying to push.”
“They don’t actually give a mess about what you believe or how you choose to live.”
“They just want you to be a good ‘church-going christian’ like them so they look good to their other cult I mean ‘church’ friends.”
“At least that’s my experience on the matter.” ~ LegendaryMuffins
“Power play and/or a true need for drama.”
“OP is right, and his husband should fully have his back on this.”
“I get the feeling it’s one of those situations where he’s doing whatever he can to not rock the boat with mommy, grandma and whatever other manipulative AHS in his family.” ~natidiscgirl
“Because they want to make sure that OP accepts the total disrespect, erasure and public humiliation, and know that they’re in charge.”
“The husband included. I’d be questioning spending Christmas with him at all. NTA.” ~ HiddenDestiny251
“NTA. But I think this is less about the attendance at church and way more about the request to lie about your marriage.”
“If these were lovely in-laws who just asked you to tag along with everyone to a holiday celebration at church and you refused, I might suggest you just suck it up.”
“I’m also an atheist but I don’t think it’s a big deal to join loved ones for a church event – I would go to anyone’s house of worship if I was visiting and they invited me.”
“But being asked to lie and say you are a ‘friend’ of your husband is outrageous and disrespectful and disgusting behavior from everyone.”
“I cannot believe your husband does not have your back here and I strongly support you getting as far away from these nasty homophobes and not celebrating or spending any time with them.” ~ Sea-Grapefruit5561
“Come to church with us, but help us lie to everyone, including grandma because we’re Christian and it’s Christmas and church, and, and… 🤮”
“Can you say hypocrites? NTA.” ~ StevieB85
“NTA – You had me until you said you were gay, and they wanted you to say you were a ‘friend’ of your husband’s!”
“But your husband is the AH – why isn’t he sticking up for you, especially with that little ‘brilliant idea’ hanging over your heads??”
“That is SO disrespectful to me, of not just you, but both of you, and your relationship.” ~ HobbitQueen8
“NTA, they are trying to keep everyone ‘happy’ and be picture perfect traditional family.”
“It’s beyond disrespectful to you not just because they are trying to pretend to the public that you aren’t part of the family but to your beliefs as well.”
“I honestly have wanted to go to a church sermon just to see what it was like but not interested enough to wake up that early and sit through what could be a boing a** talk.” ~ emp9th
Well that is certainly a recipe for a not so Merry Christmas.
Hopefully this situation can be resolved peacefully and with the meaning of the season in mind.
At least the OP can read up and see all of your support.
And in the end, let’s hope OP and his hubby make it through for one another.