It’s strange how entitled people can be when they enter someone else’s home.
Unfortunately, sometimes it takes them staying over to realize how entitled they actually are, cringed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor NotAChefOrServer was surprised when their sister-in-law’s husband demanded waffles for breakfast and decided to shrug it off as a joke.
But when he was so angry the next morning that it escalated into an argument, the Original Poster (OP) was shocked at his entitlement in their home.
They asked the sub:
“AITA for not making him (my brother-in-law) what he wants?”
The OP was surprised by their brother-in-law’s forward nature.
“My SIL (Sister-in-Law) and her husband arrived last night.”
“As we were helping them get their stuff into the guest room, her husband, who I’ve met like three times, said ‘Waffles for breakfast would be great.'”
“I was a bit taken aback, but then I assumed it was a joke that didn’t land well. We don’t have a waffle iron anyway.”
He was angry at dinner the next morning.
“I made the usual eggs, beans, and toast for breakfast.”
“When SIL and her husband came in, he frowned and asked where the waffles were.”
“I said I didn’t make any. He asked why.”
“I was a touch annoyed and said this isn’t a restaurant.”
“He said they are guests and their needs should be taken into account.”
The argument escalated.
“Then he said he was allergic to beans.”
“I asked why he didn’t tell me he was allergic to beans.”
“He said he told me he wanted waffles and the reason why shouldn’t matter, because they are guests.”
“My husband jumped in and said, ‘Eat eggs and toast, or go get breakfast elsewhere.'”
“He left with my SIL.”
“Did I break an etiquette rule? Was I an a**?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some pointed out that guests still needed to be polite, no matter where they were staying.
“What’s done is done, there is no need to cry over spilled milk.”
“Also NTA, but he is a huge AH. He is a guest but you are not a hotel. He gets what he pays for. If he wants a specific breakfast, he should have stayed in a hotel or gone out to buy it for himself!” – Married2TheMusic
“She’s met this entitled brat a total of three times and he walks in making demands that you can’t even get away with at a hotel.”
“Even if I go stay by people, I always call ahead and make arrangements in regards to food and try to offer up something, whether I have to pay and bring the groceries or I’ll cook some of the meals.”
“The idea is to be a guest and not a pest. NTA.” – SnooSuggestions2288
“In fairness, this thread is the first time in my life I’ve ever heard of someone serving beans for breakfast. I’m not allergic, but strongly dislike beans, and would never have guessed there would be any situation where they might be on my plate in the morning.”
“But then, it’s also the first time in my life I’ve heard of an a**hole just assuming that he not only should but CAN be served waffles on demand.”
“Most people are not equipped to make waffles in their home unless they happen to really like waffles. If HE likes waffles that much, how does he not know this???” – BankOfAntarktica
“I love waffles, have two waffle irons and favorite recipes, and make ambush waffles for guests.”
“BIL is TA. If you want waffles on vacation, stay at a hotel that has them available at breakfast (and get up at the crack of dawn to get them).”
“Or if you just gotta have them at your in-laws’ house, call ahead to make sure it’s okay and bring your own d**n waffle iron and make them for everybody. S**t.” – entirelyintrigued
“NTA. What universe does this person live in where he thinks this is normal at all? Hospitality is one thing, but guests are also expected to be polite and gracious.”
“I cannot imagine demanding a specific meal from a host that made zero indication that they would be making me specialized meals.” – maaya_the_bee
“NTA OP, I’m pretty sure Mr. Manners would support you and advise him that the correct way to make his request would have been, ‘Hello, Thank you very much for having us. I wanted to ask about breakfast tomorrow and let you know I have an allergy to beans if my dear wife hadn’t already informed you.'”
“‘My preferred breakfast while traveling is waffles, a little decadent and childish, I know, but so comforting when in a new environment. Oh, you don’t have a waffle Iron, well darn.'”
“‘(and if they were staying more than a few days) Would you object if I bought an iron and ingredients and made waffles the day after next?”” – throwawayhater3343
“There’s a saying, ‘Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days,’ but your SiL’s husband managed to stink after several minutes.”
“You’re not a hotel, nor a restaurant, and if he had specific dietary needs or expectations, he should have communicated this in advance. NTA but good luck with the rest of this trip…” – Ellf13
“It’s one thing to make a suggestion if the host asks first, and even the,n I would either say anything is fine or at most offer two or three different ideas.”
“Then again, my family is very much a bowl of cold cereal type, except weekends maybe.”
“And as OP says, they don’t even have a waffle iron. Waffles are not an easy thing if you don’t regularly do them.” – human060989
Others wondered how the BIL treated women in general, assuming the OP was a woman.
“I’m kind of wondering if he treats his wife like that at home and figured he could do the same with another ‘woman of the house.'”
“I hope he doesn’t have the, ‘she’s here to serve me’ mentality. So gross.” – More-questions692
“This was my first thought: his wife is likely being abused and might need help.” – DinahM1ght
“I’m gonna go ahead and guess that when his friends visit, he is not the one making whatever they want for breakfast, but he does expect his wife to.” – ValleySparkles
“Sounds like his wife is treating him like a spoilt king, so he has gotten used to being served to and just assumes other people will treat him the same?” – Goose_Spy
“It wasn’t a demand or even an ask. ‘Waffles would be great’ is even more a**holish since it assumes the host is eager to serve his most vague and indirectly expressed desire.”
“The poor SIL, married to this guy, ugh.” – Whatnot1785
“OP NTA, but oof, how you are going to discuss this with your husband on how to proceed from here on is gonna get complicated, maybe.”
“Kinda late to say it to them, but maybe establish some ground rules now?”
“If they agree and adhere to them, great. If not…well, there’s Airbnb.” – Sweaty_Rent_3780
“I have friends whose son has a lot of allergies, and the other son has become a picky eater (I suspect for the attention since his bother gets all kinds of special foods).”
“When they visit, she just brings food for them to eat. She doesn’t walk in demanding special food be made.”
“I happen to know the son’s various allergies, so I do try to have things available that he can have, but I appreciate his mom not making it everyone else’s problem.” – NeemaMlozi
“As far as I’m concerned, a wife shouldn’t let her husband get away with that kind of entitled behavior any more than she should teach her kids to emulate it.”
“In my house, I’m the primary cook. What my husband and son eat is my decision.”
“Fortunately, they’re not picky eaters and I’m a good cook, but if they don’t like something then a) they can go fend for themselves because I’m not a short-order cook, and b) I make note of it and take it off the menu.”
“Also, I know they love it when I make breakfast on weekends, but I’m not going to do it if they whine.”
“NTA. Guests shouldn’t be treating you like some B&B.” – kaett
The subReddit was just as taken aback by the sister-in-law’s husband’s behavior as the OP was. He may have suggested that waffles would be nice for breakfast, but it was unclear from the beginning if that was a request or a joke.
However, his reaction the next morning to finding no waffles on the table was nothing short of entitled, especially when he was staying in a family member’s home instead of sleeping at a hotel. Even at a hotel, however, these kinds of demands would not be acceptable and would likely result in a professional altercation if not worse, like being thrown out or banned from ever booking at that hotel again.