in ,

Guy Balks After Houseguest Demands He Get Rid Of His Rifle Because She ‘Doesn’t Feel Safe’

Sebastian Pociecha/Unsplash

Guns are of course one of the most divisive issues in our country, and people’s feelings on them differ widely. While many feel their access to guns is sacrosanct, others feel unsafe in their presence.

For a guy on Reddit, this issue sparked drama between he and a houseguest, who felt threatened by the rifle he keeps in his house.

He wasn’t sure about how he’d handled the situation, so he went to the AITA (Am I The A**hole) subReddit for perspective.

The Original Poster (OP), who goes RifleManThrowaway on the site, asked:

“AITA for refusing to get rid of my rifle?”

He explained:

“So, I (38M[ale]) recently took in my friend (30F[emale]) to live with me temporarily while she looks for another place since her house burnt down.”

“Now for a little backstory.”

“I myself have a rifle that I regurarly go to the range with and that has a lot of sentimental value to me for reasons that are unrelated to this post and that I’m too lazy to type out.”

“My friend wasn’t really aware of this since it never really came up, and I didn’t think it was something that is important to mention, well, a couple days ago I went to the range and when I came back she asked we where I was.”

“I told her that I was at the range, which surprised her, and she asked me if I could get rid of the gun temporarily by selling it and buying another one later. I said I can’t, since it has a lot of sentimental value to me. I offered to disasemble it, making it harmless, if it’d make her feel safe, but she refused.”

“She then said that she doesn’t feel safe living with a gun in the house, and that I get rid of it or she will move. I told her I can’t, so she lefr.”

“Well, I have been getting messages from mutual friends that this was an a**hole move and that I can’t possibly value the rifle over my friend.”

“So, AITA?”

Redditors were then asked to judge who was in the wrong in this situation based on the following categories:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
  • NAH – No A**holes Here

And though opinions on guns varied, most felt that OP’s friend was asking way too much.

“NTA”

“It’s your house. You are not shooting inside your house or being unsafe with the rifle. She can go live elsewhere.” –Coco_Dirichlet

“OP should ask the friends which one’s house he should help her move into, since they’re so opinionated. I don’t understand the entitlement to think someone has to change their life and sell their belongings while housing you for free long-term. It’s a rifle, it’s not going to randomly come beat her ass in the middle of the night.” –AbsolutelyNotADemon

“Yeah I’m kinda against the whole gun thing but if my friend was nice enough to take me in the last thing I’d do is tell them what is acceptable in their own home. NTA op. Maybe just kick them out at this point.” –aggravated-asphalt

“Their house that they were doing this friend the favor of letting them stay temporarily. Any item of sentimental value has more call to stay than a temporary guest.”

“Agree, NTA.” –seamuswasadog

“NTA. You offered to disassemble it, and that was kind of you . (While I’d require that for a child, an adult could just… not touch it?) . More than enough.” –LeftWeather0

“NTA; it’s awfully demanding of her to make this ultimatum. Especially after you offered to disassemble it. Let her go; you helped her out by giving her a place to live after her house burned down; she repays you by demanding you get rid of something that’s doing her no harm.” –Sad-Raise-754

“Exactly this. NTA & it was completely unreasonable of her to ask you to SELL the gun just because you were nice and let her stay temporarily at your house. I mean, damn. That’s some bullsh*t.” –Bookworm75

“I wouldn’t be comfortable in a home with a loaded gun, and a reasonable request is to disassemble and lock away the gun.”

“It is not reasonable to ask to sell the gun.”

“I get it. Guns are scary. But disassembled its less dangerous than a fu*king kitchen knife.” –xdragonteethstory

“NTA. Your house your rules. You were more than accommodating by offering to disassemble the rifle. She was completely out of line asking you to sell it, whether it has sentimental value or not. On the bright side, now you know who the assholes in your life are.” –Chitundu

“NTA. As long as you are handling your rifle carefully and storing it appropriately, it doesn’t affect her in the least. It’s an inanimate object, so she doesn’t have to worry that it will break out of its locked case and hunt her down.” –soap—poisoning

“NTA… I’m not a fan of guns, wouldn’t be comfortable having a loaded one around either, but if a friend wad kind enough to take me in after my house burned down I wouldn’t care. Your friend is being totally unreasonable, you even offered the perfect compromise which was very kind of you, I wish I had a friend like you” –Dragons_2706

“Guns freak me out, but I still lived the first 20 odd years of my life in a house with multiple guns. The reason I was okay was because my father is a responsible gun owner, who keeps it all disassembled and in a gun safe. It would be different if there were children around and OP left a loaded gun on the wall, but thats not the case. NTA” –birchwtf

“NTA. You offered to disassemble it to render it harmless. If she doesn’t want to live in the same house as guns, she needs to find somewhere else to stay, because she can’t expect you to get rid of sentimental items to meet her standards.” –TinyRascalSaurus

“You did her a favor, she gave you a silly ultimatum, you told her no. She valued getting her way over your friendship. NTA” –LordOfTheDrizzle

“NTA NOT EVEN SLIGHTLY AN A**HOLE. She has zero education on guns and gun safety and expected you to change for her insecurity and ignorance. Sge refused to consider your view at all. It became about her and how you need to accommodate her WHILE you were helping her out. She should have left. She and your friends are wrong and if they continue to judge and berate you for having a differing view, I’d reconsider their place in my life.” –isabelrose9108

“NTA but she is. I am not a gun person myself but it is your house and you are an experienced gun owner. This woman is a guest in your home as you were gracious enough to take her in for an unknown time period. She does not then have a right to dictate to you that you have to get of your gun. You offered a reasonable compromise that she proceeded to reject. Let her find somewhere else to stay.” –Avebury1

“NTA what a ridiculous thing to ask of someone who is kindly letting them stay. Sentimental value or not it was out of line for her to ask that of you. You tried to compromise, you shouldn’t have to go beyond that.” –Expialidociousya

“NTA”

“You let her into your home. You are not oligated to change what is in the home, nor how you run it for her. She is welcome to move elsewhere.”

“Signed,”

“Not a gun enthusiast, but it’s your house!” –Educational-Food-9471

“NTA and here’s why:”

“You offered to disassemble the weapon and make it safe which was more than good enough.”

“You are helping your friend out with living arrangements. If your friend doesn’t want to live in a home with a rifle, that is entirely her prerogative. However she doesn’t get to insist you sell the rifle to accommodate her needs. If she doesn’t feel safe then the onus is on her to find alternative living accommodation. Not you to dispose of the rifle.”

“You’ve done absolutely nothing wrong here so I would disregard the messages you’ve had from others. The dispute is also none of their business in any case.” –A-Purple-Lagoon

“No, you are NTA. You took in your friend when her house burned down, (good for you), and she started making demands. She said she would move out if you did not meet her demands. You did not meet her demands-and she left.”

“‘Mutual friends’ that want to weigh in on your lifestyle can take her in. She is a choosing beggar and is now she is not your problem.” –LuvMeLongThyme

“OP even offered to dissemble it so even if she picked up rifle pieces there was 0 chance it would have fired. So he was open to a reasonable compromise to address safety concerns.”

“I mean, if she was that worried about her safety, was he supposed to get rid of all sharp objects like cutlery and stick with plastic utensils, and buy pepper spray for her? Either she trusts him or she doesn’t. Her voluntarily choosing to move is on her.” –LilPanda20

Hopefully OP and his friend can find a way past this.

Written by John Sundholm

John Sundholm is a writer, content producer and performer originally from Michigan. His writing has also appeared on YourTango, Delish and Medium, and he has produced content for NBC, The New York Times and The CW, among others. When not working, he can be found tripping over his own feet on a hiking trail while singing Madonna songs to ward off lurking bears.