Losing out on a dream job is never fun.
Whenever it happens one can't help but replay every second of the interview process over and over.
In the end we at least hope that the people interviewing are qualified.
Because if they're not, how are they making decisions?
Case in point...
Redditor Kat5034 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
"AITA for getting someone fired because they pretended to know the language?"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"English is not my first language."
"I (27 F[emale]) decided to apply for my dream job."
"I have met all the criteria and one of them was to be proficient in my native language (Russian)."
"Which I am, since I've grown up in the country speaking and writing in it and have finished school and university where obviously all the subjects are taught in Russian, except English and French/German language classes.
"I ended up securing the interview with this place and needed to demonstrate the knowledge of Russian, so the person who did the interview started asking me questions in it."
"However I could barely understand her, not only the accent made it incredibly difficult but the fact that she couldn't build a sentence."
"But also used incorrect forms of the words and the pronunciation was totally wrong too."
"In short it sounded as if she was randomly putting the words in Google translate and was trying to repeat them over."
"I have answered all her questions, however I've also noticed she barely made any notes."
"I decided to let it pass and wait for a verdict."
"After about 3 months of chasing and silence, I got an email saying I wasn't successful and the reason was that they believed my knowledge of Russian language was poor and insufficient for the job and not up to their "standards" according to the interviewer."
"Of course I was confused, since the lady who interviewed me could barely speak the language herself."
"So I have decided to leave feedback about my experience on one of the job sites, which was made to share info about working at the job and interview process."
"My review received a fair amount of traction and last week Monday I ended up getting a call from the higher ups, who listened to my feedback and opened the investigation."
"On Friday I have found out the lady who interviewed me was dismissed."
"She and her friends were messaging me on social media calling an a**hole, because this job was her only source of income and was struggling."
"I am now feeling guilty about this and feel like I was an a**hole for writing about my experience.
"So AITA?"
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
"NTA - She is scamming her company by pretending to speak a language that she has minimal fluency in. Imagine how many other people she's turned down for jobs." ~ EagleSevenFoxThree
"She probably thought that she would be better off hiring people who spoke badly because they wouldn't be able to find her out."
"She thought she was the gatekeeper and didn't realize that it was a super dumb idea." ~ hellahellagoods*it
"So weird if a job requires X language skill set then you'd have to know people applying will have that and you get caught eventually."
"Plus how hard is it to get a Rosetta Stone or look up videos on YouTube so you could try and have a basic convo you can steer."
"'Hi, what kind of sports do you like?'"
"This requires you to know only a few words really, then they say basketball in Russian and you go in Russian basketball I like tennis." ~ FluffySecretary403
"And please let the company know that she accessed your personal information (if she was fired, she has no right to this information) and is using it to harass you."
"If she is also involving her friends, she passed out classified information and the company needs to know this."
"You could sue her and the company so be pro active and let them know." ~ PanamaViejo
"NTA, tell the flying monkeys she sent after you that SHE cost you a job you were qualified to get."
"Tell them to ask their friend why she lied about being fluent when she isn't."
"Respond to the woman who was fired in a long, detailed response in Russian." ~ Capt-Sylvia-Killy
"She screwed OP out of a job placement based on her scam, which hurt OP's livelihood."
"She f**ked around and found out."
"Using OP's confidential contact info that she gained during her employment to harass her, giving that info to others to add to the harassment can't be legal either."
"What a pitiful way to live. NTA." ~ Gelflingscanfly
"She was also preventing the company from hiring qualified candidates which could seriously impact their viability as a successful business."
"NTA. AND don't let them bully you."
"Contact her company if she/they do, and it could potentially impact her unemployment." ~ Emptydata_Enzo
"NTA. You were denied a job based on a lie that wasn't yours."
"That's not on you."
"It could have been your only source of income too." ~ Puzzleheaded-Big1680
"I have zero sympathy for someone who purposely messes with your career and then turns it around and complains you ruined hers."
"Especially since she's the one who made the choice to claim to speak the language, when she knew she couldn't."
"In English, we'd say 'she made her bed and now she can lie in it.'"
"You didn't do anything wrong here—it doesn't even sound like you set out to get her fired, which is what some people would have done." ~ ViscountBurrito
"NTA, she shouldn't have pretended to know a language she wasn't fluent in, and it's her own fault for being sacked."
"She could've easily had avoided this by not pretending and having someone else do the interview that did know Russian." ~ Renethon
"Not only was she wrong for pretending to know Russian, but she was also incredibly stupid too."
"Anyone with half a brain would have read OP's resume and saw 'native Russian speaker who graduated from a Russian university."
"Only a complete idiot would read that and then decide 'I'm going to reject this native Russian speaker with a Russian university degree as not being proficient in Russian.'"
"One doesn't need to know any Russian at all to know OP is proficient in Russian."
"What an idiot." ~ AbleRelationship6808
"NTA- you missed out on a wonderful sounding job, due to a person who clearly wasn't up to scratch and had no business interviewing someone fluent in the language." ~ Angelblade92
"NTA. She isn't qualified to do her job, and lied about the results of the interview."
"The business that employs her requires a knowledge of the language and she's pulling the wool over their eyes."
"Not your concern, and I hope you're able to interview again." ~ ELSquared71
"NTA. She took a job she shouldn't have, and the consequence of that is that the team suffers."
"She would have been found out eventually."
"Not only that but she specifically is the reason you didn't get the job because she was afraid she would have been found out had you been hired."
"She was trying to keep a job she didn't deserve leaving other more qualified people to suffer the consequences."
"I hope they reconsider your application."
"And don't feel bad about her."
"I'm sure she'll find another scam soon enough." ~ Ehgender
"And there were probably struggling people who could've used that job who she denied."
"If he job was really so important to her, and she absolutely had to lie to keep her source of income, then in her spare time after getting this new job responsibility, she should've been getting language lessons, Rosetta Stone or something else online."
"Instead of relying on whatever translate thing she was using." ~ RedditUser123234
"NTA. She was being dishonest and threw you under the bus to save herself."
"She got what she deserved. I'm sorry you lost out on the job." ~ DarkAthena
"NTA. It sounds to me like she denied you a job opportunity because she was afraid that you would know that she cannot speak Russian."
"And for that, she is a bad person and deserves to be fired." ~ hellahellagoodsh*t
"NTA. Her poor language skills made you miss out on your dream job."
"That's not on you, you were simply being honest."
"OP you might wanna email that same higher up to see if you can re-interview seeing as this wasn't your fault. Good luck." ~ Dark_Phoenix25
"NTA. This is really one of those situations where what's good for the goose is good for the gander - this lady denied you a job because she was incompetent at hers."
"She can clearly go lie and get another job somewhere else." ~ rmric0
"NTA. As a man who uses google translate to communicate and build a 2nd language, yikes."
"Good warning signs."
"She wasn't fluent in the language. She lied."
"If would be figured out eventually."
"What was her plan?"
"Take a job where she needs to speak Russian and hope she never runs into a native speaker?" ~ Thediciplematt
Well OP, Reddit is behind you.
You may have lost out on a job you were meant for due to another person's negligence.
There is no wrong in seeking the truth.
Hopefully, you find a position worthy of you soon.
Woman Breaks Up With Boyfriend Who Worried People Would Think She Was Trans For Using Stand-To-Pee Device
Content Warning: Transphobia, Transphobic Comments
There are countless different reasons that a relationship might end, and a red flag could arise at any time. Some of these might have been learned in childhood and could improve over time.
Transphobia is absolutely a red flag that should be acted on immediately; however, with no option to fly again, pointed out the members of the "Am I the A**hole?" (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor funnelfuss was in the car with her boyfriend when they got stuck in a traffic jam.
She really needed to use the restroom, so since she had a device with her to make the process easier, she decided she'd step out of the car.
But when her boyfriend panicked and thought people might mistake her for a man, the Original Poster (OP) realized that her boyfriend was not who she thought he was.
She asked the sub:
The OP had to use the restroom while stuck in a traffic jam.
"My (26 Female) boyfriend (25 Male) and I got stuck in an insane traffic jam. My boyfriend was driving."
"We were at a standstill. Found out later on, they had closed the highway."
"I had to pee really bad, like bad bad bad. I saw that a couple guys had run to the side of the road to pee, and I decided to do the same."
"It was super open, with a few bushes by the side of the road, really not much cover."
The OP's boyfriend became uncomfortable when he realized she had a pee-to-stand device.
"I have a stand-to-pee device in my car, but when I grabbed it, my boyfriend got all weird."
"He said people would see me pee standing up and think I was Trans."
"I said no one would think that, plenty of women have pee funnels, and that also I didn't care. I have no beef with Trans people!"
"He said I should squat, just to put his mind at ease."
"I said I didn't want to get my butt and c**ch out on the highway in front of everyone, or get pee on my shoes, and I just wanted to be quick and clean."
"He said he didn't want people to look at the girl he was dating and think she was Trans and that I should squat, like GIRLS do."
The OP decided she was over it.
"I was dying by this point. I couldn't hold it anymore, and I really didn't want to show the world my butt, so I ran to the side of the road and slipped the device into my jeans and just peed standing up with my back to traffic."
"No one could see anything; it just slides through the zipper. But I guess maybe if someone was looking, they would be confused? But also, who's LOOKING?!"
"When I got back to the car, my boyfriend wouldn't talk to me. He says I disrespected his feelings. But it was 100% an emergency, and I don't get what his problem was."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that there was nothing wrong with using the restroom how she wanted.
"OP, don't think for one more second about this. Your boyfriend is being ridiculous."
"As if you will ever see any of those people again! Plus, holding it in for too long can cause a whole host of issues."
"It's actually genius that you have something like that in your car, just in case. I'm going to order one too now! NTA." - m_alice88
"'Honey, please show all these strangers your c**ch and a** so they know I'm not gay, mmmm'kay?'"
"A weak man, a very weak man." - lefteyedcrow
"You must have a she-wee! Those are so great for women."
"Tell your boyfriend to get over himself. You had to pee. He does not understand that squatting can suck and leave you exposed."
"If he is that upset you did this, rethink this relationship. I would find it hysterical."
"NTA." - Oktodayithink
"NTA, OP. You just needed a makeshift restroom."
"Your boyfriend apparently thought that it was normal for people to stare at strangers who are trying to pee to evaluate who they are, who they're with, and what the status of their relationship is."
"You know, to pass the time while in gridlock traffic." - Pixichixi
"You did nothing wrong, OP! When you have to go, you have to go. It's healthier to go."
"And don't apologize! We're so wired to reduce conflict, even to the point of downplaying how we feel to keep the peace or end the silence. Don't do it."
"It's a him issue. He thinks his feelings on this are more important than your discomfort about showing your naked body on the side of the road. If he can't figure that out for himself and apologize, it would be a dealbreaker for me." - lelawes
Others agreed and pointed out that the ex-boyfriend was very transphobic.
"NTA. Your boyfriend is clearly transphobic. That is 100% on him. And who cares if people think you are Trans?"
"'He said he didn't want people to look at the girl he was dating and think she was Trans.' And you don't want people to think you're dating someone bigoted and hateful." - GreekAmericanDom
"He may not consider himself transphobic ('I don't hate Trans people! I just don't want to be associated with them or have anyone think I'm with a Trans person!'), but he absolutely is, probably with a healthy side helping of homophobia."
"Why would he care, unless a) Trans women are not women in his eyes, or b) it somehow would be emasculating or embarrassing to his ego to be with a Trans woman."
"Also, you're in a traffic jam. Who the f**k is even watching close enough to care, and who of those people matters enough to give two s**ts about what they think."
"Not to mention, he's being weirdly controlling about your behaviors and how they reflect on him in a scenario where arguably he's never going to interact with a single person he's worrying about." - maladicta228
"This post reminds me of the time I got dressed to go to a function. It was a casual gathering. My kid (this was solidly on their father, my ex, as he's gotten insanely bigoted as he's aged) said, 'Mom, you're dressed like a Lesbian.'"
"Me: 'Lesbians have great fashion sense, I'd love to be mistaken for one.'"
"They paused for a second and realized that I truly wasn't dressing for men (despite it being my husband's work function), and that being seen as a lesbian was a good thing. I'm so glad I raised them to think for themselves, and realize that one can be wrong, admit it, and work on being a better person every day. They've never said anything like that since." - baconbitsy
"He's so insecure (and transphobic) that he cares more about what some strangers in a traffic jam might wrongly assume about you (and thereby him) than YOUR needs, comfort, and health."
"He expected you to prioritize his insecurities (feelings) above that and then punished you when you prioritized your health."
"You sure you want to be with someone like that?? NTA." - molotovmerkin
"Your boyfriend is so transphobic that he wants you to expose your genitalia on the side of the road to prove that you're not a Trans woman because he can't stand the idea of a total stranger, in a neighboring car, whom he will never speak to or see ever again, thinking he MIGHT be SHARING A CAR (because the strangers in other cars have no idea that you're dating) with a Trans woman."
"You're NTA, but get a better boyfriend." - HighCsummer
"Literally, you have to be super transphobic to think people in traffic are gonna judge you if your girlfriend is standing to pee. Like come onnnnnn, this is some insane insecurity." - Responsible-Pickle-2
Some pointed out that not only was the ex-boyfriend transphobic, but also controlling.
"This won't be the last time he expects OP to sacrifice things or make her life worse so that she can conform to his ideal of feminine stereotypes and keep up appearances for his fragile masculine ego."
"And that he gave her the silent treatment for not obliging his transphobia and misogyny disguised as 'feelings' is also problematic." - blancamystiere
"He's insecure and transphobic. He also puts his insecurity and transphobia above your comfort."
"NTA, and honestly, you can do better than this specimen." - PetersMapProject
"NTA. Your boyfriend would have preferred for everyone to see your a** and vagina than have a random stranger think his girlfriend is Trans. He would rather you expose yourself for his personal gain."
"Get a better boyfriend." - Amaze-balls-trippen
"The transphobia? The insecurity? And the silent treatment when he doesn't get his way?"
"So many red flags!" - CarolynDesign
"He also puts his insecurity and transphobia above your comfort and safety."
"He would rather you invite unwanted attention and risk by exposing your private parts to the world than have people think he (who most of the onlookers couldn't even see) might be dating a Trans person."
"NTA. OP, he's too insecure, self-centered, and immature to be a good partner to you, given that he's willing to compromise your safety to avoid a single twinge of discomfort. Dump him." - Hari_om_tat_sat
After receiving feedback, the OP was reassured and shared some positive updates.
"UPDATE: Thank you, everyone, for helping me feel sane again!"
"I got quite a few questions about which device I use, and honestly, it's about what fits you best. There are a ton of options. It's what fits you. Check out pStyle, Freshette, and EllaPee."
"I tried peeing standing up in a toilet, and it worked fine. I think my aim was pretty good, but then I saw little droplets on the floor. No thanks, don't need that. Also, it's loud? Awkward."
"But for the outside, it's pretty fun! I drive a lot, that's why it was in my car. Lifesaver."
"Also, I guess in this case it brought out an ugly side of my (ex) boyfriend and clarified some stuff for me. A winner all around."
"And to all the commenters asking, YES, he is an ex-boyfriend now."
"And yes, there were other red flags."
"Ditched the man, kept the pee funnel. Gonna laugh at him every time I pee standing up."
There's no way to imagine just how awkward the rest of the car ride was after using the restroom and returning to the now-silent and very entitled boyfriend, still stuck in a traffic jam.
But fortunately for the OP, she learned something vital about her relationship during a moment that should have been a total non-issue.
By being concerned about this and expecting the OP to prioritize her ex's pride over her comfort, safety, and cleanliness, her ex told her everything she needed to know.