Most of us consider it to be our duty to help a family member in need. But what are we supposed to do when that family member starts taking advantage of us?
That’s the dilemma a guy on Reddit found himself in when his wife’s very demanding pregnant twin sister began treating them like they were her “maids.” He wasn’t sure how to handle it, so he went to the AITA (Am I The A**hole) subReddit for perspective.
The Original Poster (OP), who goes by StraightNews75 on the site, asked:
“AITA for wanting my wife to kick out her pregnant twin sister”
He explained:
“My wife and her twin sister are each other’s best friends. They’ve supported each other in everything even when her sister had cancer. They talk to each other pretty much every day.”
“When SIL got pregnant the baby daddy left so my wife offered to let her stay with us without asking me. SIL had been incredibly rude and I want her gone. She purposely trashes the house and I’m the one who cleans it up.”
“Every time I have a problem with her my wife jumps in and says it’s hormones and she says I can’t say anything since I can’t get pregnant which is true but I still think it’s unnecessary.”
“She’s incredibly lazy and acts like we’re her maids. She wakes up in the middle of the night to tell us that she’s craving food but I refuse to wake up in the middle of the night to get her something.”
“She need to go in my opinion but my wife says otherwise. She says that kicking out a pregnant woman would be cruel and that it’a her sister and that suggesting it at all makes me an a**hole but I’m so tired of the blatant disrespect. AITA for wanting my wife to kick her out”
People on Reddit were then asked to judge who is in the wrong in this situation based on the following categories:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
And not only were they on OP’s side, but many saw even bigger problems ahead.
“Um, yeah… Just stop picking up after her, that’s your wife’s job. ETA – the SIL is the WIFE’S guest, so the wife should be cleaning up after her. (I didn’t realize I need to explain that concept)”
“NTA”
“But you won’t win this. Either deal with it or stay with a friend for a week, to see how well your wife handles her sister by herself.” —Evil_Mel
“Agreed that you won’t win this. If you leave, your SIL might suddenly stop misbehaving because you are now gone. She has her sister to herself. If you stop picking up, that might help, but your Wife has to make that decision about her loyalty. Your SIL is poisoned fruit, at the moment.” —ArielTip
“NTA BUT I think leaving is guy wrong way to go. Sister is probably hoping for this.”
“I think OP should tell his wife that he isn’t going to clean up for her and not take any of her rudeness.”
“Then don’t clean and when she’s rude say ‘That was rude.’ And walk away. Do nothing for her. Only speak to her to answer questions.”
“See how that goes.” —FredRedPhooey
“That’s right, OP, your’e ‘pampering’ your SIL too much. You need to bounce to a new ‘crib’ for a while and let your wife handle her sister. Set a firm boundary now because your SIL probably wants free around-the-clock childcare as well, and that’s not a ‘formula’ for happiness, especially if you’re being awoken every night by a crying baby that’s not yours. NTA.” —Anonymotron42
“NTA. Sit your wife down. ‘I did not agree to move your sister in. If you showed up one day, and I’d moved my parents in, how would you feel? I need a timeline for her to be gone. I am also no longer cleaning up after her or dealing with her in any way. She’s not my guest. She’s yours.'”
“‘I’ll be polite, but that’s it. I’m just going to count the days, uncomfortable in my own home, until she’s out. So I need to know the exact day. WE need to sit down with her, and you need to tell her when she needs to go, and then there’s no wiggle room. I’m not going to keep feeling like this.'” —crystallz2000
“…NTA. Im not pregnant nor will i ever but i know for a fact pregnant people can pick up after themselves otherwise every single mothers house would be a mess 24/7, but they’re not.”
“Especially since shes having a kid, she needs to learn how to clean up after herself and her kid, a 6 month old baby can’t do the dishes.” —_Ima_Bean_
“NTA.”
“SIL will never move out. Pregnant now then a new mother. When will you get the idea.”
“If you move out it really means that you are separating from your wife.”
“OP needs to decide if this is worth ending his marriage over. Because if he makes it a choice between himself and twin sister/best friend he will lose Everytime.”
“Would it be possible for op to find a place SIL could rent near by.” —Small_Sundae_4245
“OP, what’s the plan for after the birth? Is she going to just throw dirty diapers on the floor and expect you too throw them out? Are you going to get stuck changing all the diapers?!”
“It’s really shi*ty that your wife has put you in this situation. She’s choosing her sister over your. You and tour wife need to figure out how to get past this. She needs to choose you over her slob of a sister.” —EinsTwo
“…OP, I think the writing’s on the wall. Your SIL seems to want YOU gone. Your wife is an absolute AH for letting her move in without telling you. I hope you get all your finances etc in order because I think you’re leaving. NTA” —Tapioca44
Hopefully OP can find a way to make this work.