Apartment quiet hours typically run from 10:00 p.m. to 7:00 a.m. on weekdays and 11:00 p.m. to 8:00 a.m. on weekends, though exact times depend on a renter's lease and local laws.
But what constitutes noise?
A tenant turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for feedback after his neighbors singled him out during a building-wide meeting.
National-Honeydew657 asked:
"AITA for pointing out my neighbour’s loud crying baby?"
The original poster (OP) explained:
"I (26, male) moved into a new flat about 6 months ago. It’s a small complex with 8 apartments."
"My next-door neighbors have a baby, which I assume was born around the time I moved in. The baby cries a lot, but I’ve never complained because that’s just what babies do."
"Yesterday, we had a once-a-year meeting with all the residents of the complex. The property manager gave us some updates and then asked for our questions."
"Out of nowhere, my neighbors told him that my washing machine is very loud and that I use it during quiet hours. They’re right, but they never told me it bothered them. If they had, I would have simply done my laundry at a different time."
"I always do my laundry on Sunday evenings. I think it is a habit I learned from my parents, because my mom would always do laundry on Sunday evenings, so we had fresh clothes for the start of the week."
"I got annoyed because I do laundry once a week, while their baby cries pretty much 24/7. So I said they probably shouldn’t complain about noise, which started a heated debate."
"Other residents also began complaining about the baby. One lady even questioned if they are even taking care of the baby, because her babies never cried like that, which sounded pretty nasty."
"The property manager eventually ended the discussion when the baby’s mother started crying."
"Nothing was really resolved there, but I now feel pretty bad about starting the whole debate. They could have told me about the washing machine before bringing it up publicly, but they’re probably just exhausted parents."
"AITA for saying what I did, and should I apologize to them?"
OP later added:
"Some answers to repeated questions:"
"I checked the lease and complex rules, and there’s no specific rule banning laundry during quiet hours. There is a general rule saying tenants should avoid making noise and disturbing others."
"The washing machine isn’t broken or insanely loud, but I’d say it’s louder than average. No other neighbors ever heard it, but the couple with the baby is next to me on the same floor."
"I can easily do my laundry at a different time. I was just doing it on Sunday evenings out of habit. I didn’t know it was disturbing anyone."
"And yes, the walls are pretty thin."
Redditors weighed in using the AITA voting acronyms:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
- INFO - more information needed
Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA).
"Eh, nta, the nerve they have to whine about the once a week laundry machine when their kid is making noise all the time (not to blame the kid, but seriously, the audacity)."
"Yeah, it would be one thing to approach privately and ask nicely to change the laundry time, but complaining about it during the meeting when you're a sound terrorist for the next few years is quite audacious." ~ LynxPuzzleheaded9336
"Yup. And like, isn't a washing machine just normal living sounds? Live and Let live. They really put OP on the spot for no reason. At least don't bring it up out of nowhere in that situation."
"You can also like ask in private 'hey, we would appreciate it if you do laundry in the not quiet hours'. They would have a point if it was like vacuuming at 3 AM or something as that is loud AF, but come on, a washing machine?!"
"Those things should be spoken about in private.I had a neighbour that was complaining about noises as well (us walking up the stairs...) and she was coughing extremely loudly with all the windows open at night (and refusing to go to the doctor) and talking very loudly to her very loud kid all day."
"Some people really have the audacity like that and I know all about it. They really think the world revolves around them and are ignorant about themselves." ~ EggplantHuman6493
"I hear my neighbors’ washing machine, shower running, and vacuum all the time. It’s mostly just white noise, whereas a screaming baby is never pleasant. Similar, I had a neighbor for a while whose dog barked ALL day, and I’m an overnight worker. The dog and baby can’t help it, but those are definitely far worse noises." ~ doingtheunstuckk
"Plus, it's an apartment complex. You just deal with noises of people living. ~ FinnishMafiaFan
"NTA since when do washing machines violate quiet hours? I’ve lived in several apartment and that’s never been a thing. ~ MysteryJellybean
"Do other people consider things like appliances in quiet hours in apartment living? I always just considered quiet hours to be about not having parties or playing music too loud. I wouldn't run a vacuum cleaner during quiet hours, but I honestly wouldn't think about not running a dishwasher or laundry machine. ~ jellybeantetra
"I used to work in a leasing office, and we did ask tenants not to do things like laundry or vacuuming during quiet hours. In many wood construction buildings the way that the sound and vibrations carry can cause the noise to be more disturbing in a neighboring room or unit."
"I honestly don't think it's unreasonable to just do laundry at a different time of day. I know OP would have preferred that the neighbors go to him directly and privately, but not everyone does. When I called on noise complaints, I had a lot of tenants ask, 'Why didn't they just come talk to me instead of tattling to the office?!'
"However, I also had tenants who complained that a neighbor came to their door instead of 'going through the proper channels', and some would get really confrontational about it. It can be scary to approach someone at their door because you never know how they'll react." ~ -BigGirlPants-
"NTA. I'm sorry, but using a washing machine during quiet hours should not count. Not like you're having a party. Also, she's probably miserable and sleep-deprived. Still doesn't mean you're in the wrong."
"Crying babies are literally torture, but still, so sorry, not unreasonable to mention. Obviously other people had some shit to say about it too." ~ ShotPaleontologist88
"The neighbor never said anything until the meeting. Maybe OP didn''t realize how loud the machine sounded to the people beside/above/below them. They could have easily pulled them aside before or after the meeting to address the washing machine, not call them out in front of everyone for something that happens once a week when they got noise going on 24/7 (not their fault but still have some self-awareness)." ~ ShotPaleontologist88
"Quiet hours, at least in my opinion, refer to excessive noise like parties, construction work (drills, hammering), maybe a loud movie or something, etc. Washer/dryer kind of doesn't really fit into that scope of things."
"But they can certainly be noisy. I lived in a place where you could hear a lot of everyday things just based on how the building was built. OP didn't know, and fixed it."
"I actually don't run my laundry past 8pm for this very reason of being in a noisy building in my past." ~ supercereality
"NTA. I think babies are going to cry, and no one should complain about it - and up until the meeting you didn't."
"However, the nerve of someone who has a constantly crying baby to complain about someone else making a bit of noise (a washing machine once a week?) is a non-starter." ~ Jolly-Masterpiece883
"NTA, they shouldn’t have complained about you first if they weren’t willing to accept criticism themselves." ~ toogoodforn7
OP provided an update:
"The father actually knocked on my door today, and we had a chat. Turns out he is a really nice guy."
"He apologized for putting the whole thing out publicly and explained that there were two incidents when they had finally managed to get the baby to sleep, and then my washing machine woke it up. They got super pissed about it the second time and apparently really held onto that anger."
"They waited for the meeting, wanted to make it public and expected the property manager to scold me in front of everyone. We laughed together about how irrational that sounds now."
"He also explained that the baby has colic. That’s why it cries a lot, and they haven’t properly slept since the birth, so that’s why they’re so irritated. On the bright side, he mentioned it is slowly getting better, and the baby sleeps for longer periods now."
"I apologized for my response and admitted it was an unnecessary reaction to being called out publicly, which I didn’t like. I also told him I’m changing my laundry schedule to Fridays, when I usually work from home, so I have the whole day to do it."
Communication is almost always a better choice than sounding off publicly.
