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Guy Called Out For Hanging Girlfriend’s Underwear Outside To Dry Where Neighbors Could See

A man holding a polka dotted bra.
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No two people share the same standards of modesty.

Some people don’t care what people see them wearing, or in many cases not wearing, proudly walking around their home in their underwear regardless of who’s there.

While others make sure they always bring a bathrobe to the bathroom to avoid being caught in a towel.

Things can become particularly problematic when two people share a home but not the same standards of modesty.

Redditor Healthy-Border-4568 thought he was helping his girlfriend out by doing a load of laundry.

When his girlfriend came home, she was anything but appreciative towards the original poster (OP), namely owing to what he left out to dry on their clothesline.

Wondering if he had done anything wrong, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**Hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:

“AITA for hanging my girlfriend’s underwear out to dry?”

The OP explained how his efforts to be helpful around the house ended up backfiring on him:

“My girlfriend (21 F[emale]) and I (22 M[ale]) live together and take turns doing household chores.”

“This includes washing dishes, vacuuming, and doing laundry.”

“The other day, my gf was at work, and I decided to throw a load in the washer.”

“I didn’t have enough laundry to do a full one, so I added the clothes from her hamper.”

“Our drier isn’t working so when the cycle was done, I hung the stuff on the clothesline outside.”

“It was a nice, windy day, so it was gonna dry quick.”

“Later, I heard my gf’s car pull in the driveway. I went downstairs to greet her, and as she was coming in, I saw that she had her laundry bundled in her arms.”

“She looked upset and slammed the door behind her.”

“I asked if something was wrong, and she said she was pissed that I hung her underwear out for everyone to see.”

“I didn’t really think about it but most of the stuff from the basket were her socks and panties.”

“She’s a little conservative, so her undies are basically granny panties (think white, cotton Hanes).”

“She chewed me out and said how embarrassed she was that all our neighbors now know what her undies look like.”

“I told her that it’s not a big deal and that everyone already assumed she wore underwear, but she’s been pissed at me for a couple  ofdays.”

“Am I the a**hole?”

Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

While the Reddit community was somewhat divided, they generally agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for hanging his girlfriend’s underwear outside on the clothesline.

Most agreed that the OP did nothing wrong but could sympathize as to why his girlfriend was upset, feeling she had every right to be insecure when it came to her undergarments:

“NAH.”

“I don’t know where you live, but here, it’s very normal to dry things on the clothesline when the weather is good, and most people have some underwear on there.”

“I don’t think you were to know she wouldn’t like it.”

“But I’m not gonna say she’s necessarily in the wrong, it seems like it’s just something she didn’t like the idea of, and she got stressed about it.”

“Everyone’s different.”- confused_overthink3r

“NAH.”

“But you don’t seem to be trying to understand her feelings here at all.”

“You should also consider that there are a lot of creepy people out there.”

“Regardless, it’s pretty reasonable for a woman not to want her entire neighborhood to see her underwear.”

“Why not just apologize?”- clowneryluvx

“You were trying to be helpful by washing her clothes, but it’s only helpful if you do the entire process correctly.”

“’Correctly’ in this case is whatever her preference is because they are her clothes.”

“She has every right to not want her clothes hung up outside.”

“NAH …because you didn’t know better, but don’t invalidate her feelings about how her belongings are handled.”- GoodWitchesOnly

“NAH.”

“Because embarrassment was not intentional.”

“If you hang her underwear on the outside line again, you WBTA.”

“I highly recommend finding a different way to dry clothes, even if it’s just her underwear, while the dryer is down.”

“Maybe look into getting some folding laundry racks that can be used indoors since your GF is clearly uncomfortable with her skivvies blowing in the wind.”- obnoxiousdrunk77

“NAH, but maybe ask her how she wants her clothing washed/hung up to avoid this in the future?”

“She’s embarrassed now, but it should pass.”

“Many women hang their ‘delicates’ up inside to hide them (and in some areas keep them from being stolen) and some hang them up inside of a pillowcase, folded towel, or folded sheet on the outside line.”- Honest-Bug2729

Others, however, felt the OP was only being helpful, and his girlfriend shouldn’t have been as angry at him as she was, even if some still understood where her anger was coming from:

“A couple of thoughts.”

“I laughed out loud when I read your post.”

“In a few years she will probably think this is funny, at least I hope so.”

“If this is the worst thing you do, then you are a keeper!”

“Do you have any idea how many posts here are from women whose husbands wouldn’t know dirty laundry if it bit them on their a**es?”

“Let alone think to take care of that chore.”

“Who cares what kind of panties she wears?”

“If one of your neighbors has the temerity to say anything, you can tell them to f*ck right off.”

“You are SO, SO, SO NTA.”- Lex-tailonis

“YTA if you do it again knowing how much it bothers her.”

“You’re NTA for this incident.”

“One day hopefully your girlfriend will learn that she’s not the main character in other people’s lives and other people do not think about her nearly as much as she imagines.”- bad_bad_daughter

“NTA, but never hang woman’s underwear outside.”

“I got stolen my underwear by some creeps on many occasions.”

“And it was targeted because only my nice pieces were stolen, old and high coverage pieces stayed on clothing line.”- It_s_just_me

A few had more trouble sympathizing with the OP, feeling he wasn’t entirely respectful of her feelings and should have at least checked in with his girlfriend before hanging her underwear outdoors:

“It’s nice you did the laundry.”

“The dryer has been broken for a while.”

“Have you seen her drying her underwear indoors?”

“If you have, you’d know that she, for some reason, wants that.”

“Maybe the privacy, maybe sun damage, fragility of the garment, theft; who knows if you didn’t ask.”

“So, you should have done what she normally does or asked her at some point how to do it or why she does it.”

“You say she’s conservative.”

“Probably reasonable to wonder if she wants people looking at her underwear.”

“But, ok, you didn’t know, you didn’t ask, it happened.”

“In the grand scheme of things, it isn’t that serious.”

“But if you didn’t know and didn’t ask, you should have at least apologized and not told she’s wrong to have feelings.”

“YTA for that.”

“For the record, I’m 30 and not particularly conservative, but I’m not hanging my underwear outside if my neighbors can see it.”

“Drying rack indoors.”- Loose-Zebra435

“YTA.”

“If she tells u something u did made her uncomfortable u don’t get to decide it didn’t.”

“I’m sorry baby.”

“I didn’t think of it like that. I was trying to help.”

“Next time I’ll hang ur undies inside.”

“Again I’m sorry.”

“Would’ve gone a long way.”- DraftPerfect4228

“YTA for this:”

“‘I told her it wasn’t a big deal’.”

“That’s really terrible.”

“You might not understand why she’s upset about her laundry being out there for anyone to see, but once you realized it, you basically told her that her feelings are stupid and what she thinks doesn’t matter.”

“That you know best how someone should feel about their underwear.”

“I honestly can’t believe all these NTAs.”

“Yes, it was nice what you did.”

“Kudos to you for seeing something needed doing and doing it.”

“But can you really not see why she’s upset?”

“She had no way of expecting that she’d come home to her private things hanging up for all the world to see.”

“Do you know her at all?”

“If she’s this private of a person, you really should have known it would bother her.”

“At the very least, once you realized it bothered her, you should have apologized.”

“Not laughed at her feelings.”

“That was really hurtful.”

“Most people have something they feel that’s different than most people.”

“Maybe you don’t like pizza, maybe you are afraid of birds, maybe you love a niche band – whatever it is.”

“Just because most people don’t feel the same doesn’t mean you are wrong for feeling how you feel.”

“Again – it’s not the mistake, it’s the dismissal of her feelings afterwards.”- SingleAlfredoFemale

Everyone, or at least most people, wears underclothes, so seeing them on a clothesline doesn’t seem shocking. However, not everyone feels that way, including, it would appear, the OP’s girlfriend.

This is an important lesson for the OP, should he ever feel inclined to do his girlfriend’s laundry again. Something this experience hopefully hasn’t dissuaded him from ever doing again.

Written by John Curtis

A novelist, picture book writer and native New Yorker, John is a graduate of Syracuse University and the children's media graduate program at Centennial College. When not staring at his computer monitor, you'll most likely find John sipping tea watching British comedies, or in the kitchen, taking a stab at the technical challenge on the most recent episode of 'The Great British Baking Show'.