No matter the circumstance, there is little that can set your mind racing more than when you don’t hear from a loved one for an extended period of time.
Of course, chances are that they are perfectly fine, and just busy and unable to answer or respond to your call.
Even so, it can be difficult not to assume the worst, and think of all sorts of terrible things that could have happened.
The wife of Redditor alphiotomas recently saw on the news that there was an incident at her husband’s workplace.
So naturally, she called him to make sure that he was all right, and when he didn’t respond, she called again, and again, and again.
Much to her surprise, the original poster (OP) was anything but touched by her concern when she got home, and was instead quite angry.
Wondering if he was out of line, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for yelling at my wife after she blew up my phone with calls because of a fire?”
The OP explained why his wife’s several calls to make sure he was safe left him seeing red.
“I work in a place where we are not allowed to have personal electronics on us at all.”
“No phones, no smart watches, no pagers.”
“I’ve been working here for about 6 months so my wife knows this and understands that she should not try to contact me by my cell at work.”
“Phones are dropped off in our lockers and I typically have mine on Do Not Disturb.”
“Before this incident, my phone has never gone off in the locker before.”
“Recently there was a pretty big fire at a secondary worksite that I do work at occasionally but that day I was working at the main building.”
“Local news covered the fire before I found out about it because again no electronics, plus the work we do isolates us a bit so news travels pretty slowly.”
“There were a few casualties, a lot of seriously injured folk.”
‘My wife had been watching the news from home and started freaking out, I guess.”
“She called me 20 freaking times, which (and I did not know this was possible) overrode my DND and my phone was ringing for a while in my locker.”
“In the middle of my shift, I got called into my managers office and was chewed out (and written up) for my phone making so much noise.”
“They told me to go take care of whatever it was making my phone go off before I went back to work.”
“I won’t lie.”
“When I saw those 20 missed calls from my wife I was seriously pissed off.”
“Like I said, she knows not to try to contact me directly and a citation hurt my chances of getting a raise or promotion.”
“I called her back and she was sobbing and asking me if I was okay.”
“I said of course I was okay and asked what the f*ck was wrong with her to call me so many times.”
“She was still crying and started talking about the fire.”
“After that I started half-yelling at her about all the reasons it was dumb of her to call me.”
“When I got home she was super upset with me.”
“I apologized for yelling but she refused to talk.”
“She’s been very chilly the past few days and sleeping in our daughter’s room.”
“I know it was not the best decision to yell at her but I still think my anger justified.”
“1) she knows I don’t work in the secondary worksite very often.”
“2) she knows that I can’t be contacted directly and she could have just called the office.”
“3) 20 calls is absolutely *insane*.”
The OP was left to wonder,
“Am I the a**hole?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The OP found little to so support from the Reddit community, who all but unanimously agreed that the OP was, indeed, the a**hole for the way he treated his wife.
Everyone agreed that as there were casualties in this fire, the OP’s wife was more than justified for constantly calling her husband to make sure he was OK. Many found his behavior insensitive and way out of line, with others pointing out how his boss should have shown some leniency owing to the fire.
“What the hell is wrong with your boss?”
“We have an employee’s spouse, who is legitimately and reasonably concerned that her husband has been critically injured, and he’s penalizing you?”
“You need to grow a pair and have him remove that citation.”-mdkroma
“And yup, YTA.”
“Double double YTA.”- Mobius_Stripping
“She didn’t know if you could have been one of those casualties or not.”
“You should be mad at your boss, not her.”
“She cared enough to try to reach you but you react to that with anger.”- Neravariine
“Yes YTA and so is your employer.”
“If something happens to your wife or daughter, how the f*ck would they reach you?”
“Would you make your little scene because you got called about it too?”
“She was stressed, and crying, she panicked for a good time, but no, instead of reassuring her, you took your frustration out on her and think a half felt sorry will change something.”
“She’s right to be pissed, she cares about your safety, and she might feel like you don’t care about hers now.”- TheAvengedSamael
“She wasn’t blowing up your phone for fun. She was f*cking terrified!”
“Your boss is an AH, and you’re an AH, but your wife?”
“She’s just a woman who was justifiably panicked about your safety.”
“And turn your phone off instead of DND if your boss is going to be such a prick.”- rapt2right
“Never seen somebody more YTA.”
“It’s mind-blowing that you even have to come here and ask this question.”
“SHE THOUGHT WAS AFRAID YOU WERE DEAD.”
“IT WAS A REASONABLE CONCERN.”
“So what if she overreacted?”
“So what if she made some logical errors in her panic?”
“She cared about you.”
“Does any part of you want her to care if you’re dead?”
“Also, have you been tested for any kind of mental/emotional issue that may account for your complete lack of empathy here?”
“Anyway, it may help your situation to tell your manager why you were getting so many calls, and if the manager has a heart in their chest, maybe that will make a difference.”
“You didn’t even know that lots of calls could override a Do Not Disturb setting, and yet you’re holding your wife responsible for knowing it.”
“It’s your job to put that setting on when you’re at work.”
“You did that.”
“And I’m betting that since it’s SOOOOOO important that your phone not ring at work, she probably knows you do that.”
“Too bad you had to learn this way, but if your setting worked the way BOTH of you expected it to, 20 calls would not be a good reason to ‘half-yell’ at your loving wife.”
“If she had KNOWN it would happen, that would be different.”
“She did not.”- bigcup321
“Good god, your poor wife.”
“On so many fronts.”
“Your employer is also a giant a**.”
“If one of their worksites was involved in a fire that resulted in casualties, they should have been offering counseling for employees and their families, not writing people up when their families are trying to reach them because they fear they are dead.”- LKSnyd
“Your wife was worried that you could have been killed, and you’re upset that she was *checks notes* concerned about you?”
“Do you not understand human emotions?”
“She was panicking.”
“She wasn’t thinking about your possible promotion. She was thinking that you could be seriously hurt or even dead.”
“All she wanted to do at that moment was hear your voice and hear it tell her that you’re okay and that you love her and you’ll be home safe.”
“But instead, when she finally does, she hears it berate her and call her dumb.”
“That being said, your employers are the biggest a**holes going.”
“Your place of work is on fire, and they don’t say, ‘hey, go let your loved ones know that you’re okay’.”
“Who wants to work for psychopaths?”- Dabbles-In-Irony
“Would you prefer for your wife to hear the news that a building you sometimes work in burned down and there were casualties and think, ‘Well, he puts his phone in his locker, so I’ll just wait and see if he comes home rather than see if my husband is alive’?”
“‘No big deal if he burned to death and I don’t find out for a few hours more.'”
“‘He has anger issues and isn’t respectful of my feelings, so maybe it wouldn’t be the biggest loss?'”-IndependentEarth123
The OP might want to think about if the tables had been turned, and he saw his wife was at a place where there was a fire or incident happening, and ask himself what he would have done.
Likely called and made sure she was all right and kept calling until he had confirmation.
Something the OP’s boss might also want to consider for all their employees when extraordinary circumstances occur.