Sharing space with another person isn’t always easy. It requires trust and consideration.
After a woman upset her roommate, she wondered if she failed at either of those requirements.
She turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback.
Redditor Glittering_Sign_5571 asked:
“AITA for hiring a nude cleaning lady?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (30F/lesbian) was alone in my apartment this summer because my roommate (26F/straight) was back at her home but still paying her portion of the rent.”
“I’m not a clean person and the whole thing was getting messy but since I’m still working I got the idea of hiring a nude cleaning lady since I’ve seen such a service advertised in alternative papers.”
“I called her up and set up an appointment shortly before my roommate returned.”
“She showed up (middle-aged but still decent looking) and actually did a great job while I watched and got my jollies off at the end. I paid and tipped her well.”
“Well then my roommate returns. She’s impressed the apartment is so clean.”
“I told her ‘oh well I didn’t actually clean it myself, I hired a nude cleaner because that was kind of the only way to motivate me’.”
“She was like ‘WHAT?’ and seemed upset that I would ever hire such a business and at one point said ‘that’s such a straight guy thing to do,’ I had to suppress a chuckle because it’s kind of true.”
“She seemed upset that I would do such a thing too and that it’s trashy and degrading. She’s still seems kind of upset.”
“So was I an asshole?”
The OP clarified:
“What I meant by ‘getting my jollies off’ is I masturbated while she watched.”
“I ran it by her beforehand and she said it was totally OK as well as the client being naked too, she just doesn’t touch or ‘help’. Completely consensual.”
“I did not tell my roommate that part.”
Redditors were asked to pass judgment by voting:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Redditors decided OP was definitely the a**hole.
“You brought your kink into a shared apartment without the informed and willing consent of the other inhabitants.”
“If the cleaning lady had only cleaned your room, that would’ve been fine, but it was the entire apartment. YTA.” ~ notAgirl77
“YTA for not telling your roommate a naked stranger would be touching everything in your apartment.”
“Weirdness of that aside there’s a global pandemic, babes. Roomie deserves to know who’s coming into their house.”
“NTA for uh getting ur jollies off but dude cmon now.” ~ Over_it420
“Honestly I’m going to say a very mild YTA, not for hiring her but for giving your roommate some TMI.”
“You could’ve just said you hired a cleaning lady without specifying how she was dressed and it would still be true.” ~ Benefit_Dense
“Exactly. This falls into the category of talking about your sex life, and that’s just not cool.” ~ beckdawg19
“I still think it’s kind of gross to essentially hire a sex worker to perform sex work in shared spaces without the consent of the people who share those spaces.”
“Also it’s just sad that OP has no motivation to clean her mess unless she’s hiring a naked woman to do the cleaning… I feel really bad for the roommate.” ~ ineedtogotothestore
“YTA, and lemme say I have nothing against sex workers, but that’s what she is doing, sex work.”
“If you are going to have that in your house, fine, but everyone must consent.” ~ youlooklikesh*t
“YTA. Does your roommate need to know you got off to a nude cleaning lady? Nope.”
“You could’ve said you hired someone to clean the apartment, that’s it.”
“No one’s ever gonna follow up by asking if the cleaning lady was naked, because it is not the most popular thing in the world.”
“I’ve just learnt that is a thing.”
“Next time don’t give TMI when no one really cares.” ~ whateverkitteh1988
While Redditors had no issues with sex workers, they did have a problem with shared spaces, consent and oversharing. OP did not provide any update on what happened after or if they apologized to their roommate for any of the reasons cited.