Some people have a gift for gifting. They always seem to pick the perfect presents.
Other people aren't as successful. So what to do with an unwanted gift?
Return it? Exchange it? Regift it? Sell it?
A gift recipient turned to the "Am I The A**Hole" (AITAH) subReddit for feedback on what to do with their unwanted gift.
Similar to AITA, the AITAH subReddit allows posters to ask for advice and post about ending romantic relationships—both things that are banned on AITA. However, there are no required voting acronyms—only suggested ones—and no official final judgment declared.
Regional-at-worst asked:
"AITAH for selling a Lego set I didn’t ask for?"
The original poster (OP) explained:
"I (27, female) received a Lego set for my birthday. It was a joint gift from two of my best friends, Harry (29, male) and Alice (27, female)."
"It’s a big Lego set of a tuxedo cat, and it cost them almost £100, which is way more expensive of a gift than I’ve ever received from those two—usually we spend at most £25 on each other. The box 100% has Lego in it and isn’t a fake-out."
"I don’t want this Lego cat. I hate saying that because it’s a really cool gift. To be fair to them—I do have a cat, and I love cats, but not to the point it's a personality trait by any means."
"The box sits in the corner, unopened, taunting me. Don’t get me wrong—I have lots of free time where I could be assembling this thing—but it’s 1700 pieces!"
"This summer I bought myself a tiny Lego set at a supermarket. It was 160 pieces, and that took me over an hour! I hated it!"
"I’m just not built (haha) for Lego. I don’t have the patience. This God-damned Lego cat would take me at least 10 hours. I don’t want to spend 10 hours to build this creepy-looking cat that will just sit in the corner of my lounge and gather dust."
"Here’s the really stupid part of this dilemma that makes me feel like an ungrateful brat…"
"Just before my birthday, Alice (amateur filmmaker) used my house as a film set. In doing so, one of her team broke one of my lamps. Not a problem! It happens!"
"Alice said at the time 'that makes your birthday present easy—I’ll just buy you a new lamp'. Perfect! She even sent over a couple of examples to gauge what sort of lamps I liked."
"So I was really expecting a replacement lamp. My birthday rolls around, I get given this bloody massive box, and… it’s a Lego cat. From both Harry and Alice. So it’s not like I was going to get a separate lamp from Alice. I dread to think how confused I must’ve looked opening that box."
"And now every time my friends come over (which is at least twice a month), one or both will point out that I haven’t made a start on the cat. I always want to say, 'I can’t, my lounge is too dark, if only I had a lamp...'"
"Would I be an a**hole for selling the Lego set online, and using the money to buy myself a replacement lamp? I don’t want to hurt Harry and Alice’s feelings, but I just have absolutely no interest in Lego!"
Some Redditors weighed in by using the AITA voting acronyms:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
- INFO - more information needed
Redditors decided the OP was
"NTA - but can't you exchange the Lego cat and get full value? Be honest and upfront and ask for the receipt." ~ PedXing23
"Call me a cynic, but I think they got the Lego set for free somewhere, and there will be no receipt." ~ Astronaut_Chicken
"I was thinking the same; they had it for free or very cheap, and because you had the little Lego, they thought you would like it. I would honestly tell them that big LEGO building is not your thing." ~ Successful_Baby6108
"This was my first thought too. One of them got the Lego set somewhere and decided to re-gift it to OP." ~ Elelith
"That cat set is expensive and popular. I'm sure OP could sell it easily." ~ CedarWolf
"The lamp shouldn’t have even been considered a birthday present. Somebody on her team broke it, so she should’ve replaced it regardless of if you had a birthday coming up. You should’ve gotten a regular gift in your group’s normal price range and a replacement lamp." ~ dumbsugarplumb
"Agreed. Replacing the lamp isn't a gift: it's the bare minimum for it being broken on her watch." ~ EverTheLeader
"This is exactly what I was thinking. She, or the team member, should just be replacing the lamp because they broke it and it's the right thing to do."
"Even suggesting it would be a birthday gift is a jerk move, and then to not even do that...Bring up how she's going with finding a replacement lamp for you, OP!" ~ elevenohnoes
"NTA. First of all, replacing a lamp that her team broke is not a 'gift'. That’s something separate. She could’ve bought you a yacht for your birthday and still owed you a lamp."
"Secondly, I’m of the opinion that when you gift something, it’s 100% at the discretion of the recipient to do with it what they please. If they want to sell it, regift it, put it in a glass case and light candles around it, once it leaves the giver’s possession, they no longer deserve a say about it."
"Also, Alice is a massive a**hole." ~ InternationalBad2640
"Sure sell it but also tell them you don’t like legos or you’re going to end up with more." ~ HappyHavoc20
"Let me tell you a story. I like sewing my own clothes. I was in a gift shop with my then-husband. They had a collection of porcelain clowns in elaborate costumes."
"I was fascinated with the construction of the costumes. Looking at how the pieces were sewn together, how they added the decorations and such. My husband decided I really, really liked the clowns. I don't like clowns."
"For Christmas that year, I got two porcelain clowns. What could I do? I thanked him and moved on."
"For my birthday, I got more clowns. It developed into a tradition. Everyone in my family gifted me clowns for every occasion. Soon, I had a whole display case filled with these ugly clowns."
"Don't let that happen to you." ~ rusty0123
"NTA- replacing the lamp has nothing to do with your birthday. She broke it, she needs to pay for it. Sell the Lego, tell her you did it to replace the lamp she broke and didn't ever replace herself." ~ I_like_flowers_
"NTA. As an avid Lego fan myself, that was a stupid gift to get someone who doesn’t like building sets. Do you at least have a cat preference? Otherwise, that’s 2 strikes against them."
"I didn’t even like the cat until I saw some alternate building instructions for Pokemon. So yeah, re-gift or return and get something that you want. At least if you do trade it in for a lamp, then they definitely don’t have a valid reason for being upset." ~ KampW
"Do you still really value their friendship? You could tell them it won't be much fun for you to sit and do it by yourself. Have them over and maybe invite some other friends to have a little party where you put it together. You’ll be busy enough hosting you don’t need to do much actual building."
"Or maybe you have a family member who’d like to have it? I think you can communicate that it wasn’t a great gift for you in a few ways without making it awkward."
"Selling it and saying nothing to them could potentially sour things if they find out. So it depends how much you care about that. But for sure she owes you a lamp regardless." ~ WampaCat
"Do they like building Lego? Considering it was a joint gift, I'm wondering if maybe they thought it could be a fun activity for the 3 of you to do together. That way it won't take as long to build as it would to do by yourself, and the process won't be as dull because you'll be hanging out at the same time."
"If you're not interested in doing it as a group activity either, that's fine. It's yours now so you can do whatever you want with it. YWNBTA for selling it, but if I were you I'd want to double check first that it is just a physical object you'd be rejecting and not also as an excuse to spend time together, to make sure you're only rejecting one and not the other." ~ pocketfullofdragons
"You gotta test the waters with Lego gifts. I got my husband a $20 set because I assumed that a puzzle guy would enjoy Legos, turned out he doesn’t." ~ Redqueenhypo
"Contact Alice and tell her you'd like to exchange the cat for something you would enjoy, unspecified. Later, approach her for replacing your lamp. She is not off the hook for that." ~ desertboots
"NTA, people have to understand that not all presents are going to be liked and shouldn't take it personally. Sell the Lego set, and buy an amazing lamp. If it comes up again, let your friends know that you just didn't have the bandwidth to put the Lego set together, and let them know you purchased a fantastic lamp. Thank them for their thoughtfulness, and leave it at that." ~ Kindly-Push-3460
OP may need to nip this Lego thing in the bud unless they want to start collecting boxes of unmade Lego sets.
