We’ve all coveted beautiful things we cannot have at one point in our lives.
Well aware that even if we had the money to pay for them at the given time, we ultimately couldn’t justify the expense.
Particularly when we know that money could be put to better use for more practical things.
Some people are lucky enough, however, that they may not be able to afford nice things but find themselves being given those things by others.
Redditor DescriptionTimely616 was excited and touched by a gift from a friend.
A gift the original poster (OP) knew they would never likely be able to afford herself.
The OP’s husband was less thrilled by the gift, however, and implored the OP to sell it to make what he felt was a more practical purchase.
A request the OP flatly refused.
Concerned she may have been selfish, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I the A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for refusing to sell the expensive clothes my friend gave me?”
The OP explained why she had no interest in obliging her husband’s request:
“My husband (30 M[ale]) wants me to sell designer clothes my well-off friend gave me.”
“The total clothes are in 3k, with two of the articles stating that clothing costs 1k and 1.5k.”
“The price tags were left on the articles of clothing.”
“It’s an extremely fancy brand I’ve only ever seen on TV (Armani).”
“I could never afford these articles of clothing, and I was really excited to style it.”
“I got special bags for them to stay in.”
“I would (could) never purchase these.”
“My husband thinks I should sell them and that they’d help us afford a new couch.”
“The idea of a few pieces of fabric being worth a couch is insane to me, and I get why he wants to sell it, but I don’t want to.”
“He’s upset and saying I’m putting this fabric before our family’s comfort.”
“I think I’d offend my friend if I returned them, and I also don’t want to.”
“Am I the a**hole for refusing to return expensive clothes?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
The Reddit community firmly agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for refusing to sell her designer clothes.
Everyone agreed that the OP’s clothes were a gift to her, and thus her husband had no say whatsoever in what she chose to do with them:
“NTA.”
“They’re yours, not his.”
“If he got gifted something expensive that he really loved would he be willing to sell it?”
“Regardless, a price tag is one thing, but you might only get a fraction of what they’re ‘worth’ if you’re able to successfully sell them in the first place.”
“Online reselling websites and brick and mortar consignments both will take substantial fees, but clothing in general doesn’t keep its value unless it’s a specific item that someone has been searching for in particular, but you can’t predict that.”
“For example, I recently purchased a cardigan from someone online for $40 even though it still had the original tags on it that priced it at $400.”
“It’s an item that’s in season and from a well-known brand.”
“You must also keep in mind that for a lot of these brands the price tag also factors in the experience of buying the item from a boutique and the prestige of it.”
“People are willing to pay more when they get the whole personal shopper with champagne experience.”
“Also, many would find it very offensive if you choose to sell a gift.”- soscalene
“NTA.”
“The clothes are a gift you were given.”
“They were not gifted to him.”
“How would he feel if you told him to sell one of his possessions to finance the couch?”
“He doesn’t get to decide what you do with your things.”- Prize-Bumblebee-2192
“NTA.”
“They were a gift.”
“To you.”
“Not your husband, not your family, a gift for you.”- dryadduinath
“NTA.”
“Ask him what does he love that’s worth $3000 to sell?”
“Maybe some high-end electronics that only he uses (gaming pc etc.) or sporting equipment?”
“After all, if you’re selling stuff you love to afford the new couch, he should be contributing equally.”- bevymartbc
“NTA.”
“Go ahead and cut the tags now just to be safe.”- Worried-Midnight-750
“NTA.”
“They are your presents.”
“And most likely you would get only a fraction of what your friend paid for them, maybe 50%.”
“Even though they are new with tags, they are still secondhand and unless they are limited edition, aren’t super collectible.”- FunBodybuilder4620
“NTA.”
“The clothes don’t belong to him.”
“They are yours.”
“Remind him of that and delight in wearing them.”- RookCrowJackdaw
“NTA.”
“This might sound kind of sour, but you would lose two very nice articles of clothing so he can sit a** in the couch?”
“NO.”- Upstairs_Courage_465
“NTA to be honest, I will not even keep them near your husband.”
“I feel that you will come one day, and your clothes will be gone, and you will have a new couch.”- CrazyMeansCreative
“NTA.”
“If the clothing retails for $3000, you would be lucky to get $750 but probably wouldn’t get even that.”
“Armani makes beautiful clothing, and a lot of his stuff is timeless.”
“Better to have a few exquisite pieces that YOU feel wonderful in rather than a closet of cheap crap.”- Jujulabee
“There are couches you can get for free or like $20 on Craigslist – if he wants something fancier, then it’s the same dilemma as you having fancy clothes.”
“NTA.”
“keep your nice things. it’s very special to receive something so nice that you would never get on your own.”
“A couch is definitely not worth that. not to mention it’s yours and he is acting positive and guilting you by saying it’s ‘for the family’ when you’re a part of the family too and should have nice things as well.”- c*mdumpsterrrrrrrrrr
“NTA.”
“They were a gift.”
“It would be pretty insulting to sell a gift.”
“I understand they don’t mean anything to your husband, but they do to you.”
“Enjoy the clothes.”- imamage_fightme
“NTA.”
“It’s not like your family needs a water heater or you’re in danger of losing your home.”
“He wants you to trade your rare nice thing for something he can also enjoy.”
“Why?”
“Why doesn’t he think you deserve something nice he can’t access?”
“It was a gift.”
“You don’t have to make sure every gift you get can be used by him as well.”
“That doesn’t even make sense.”- ghostiecatlol
“NTA.”
“Hide your things, just in case.”- Janisseho
“NTA.”
“It’s your gift, not your husband’s gift.”- ninaxc
“NTA.”
“And on reality, clothes on the secondary market don’t sell as well as you might think.”
“If you keep them you can wear them and feel good (and not have to buy items).”- oknowwhat00
“NTA it was a gift.”- hiddentickun
“NTA.”
“You’ll eventually buy a new couch, but you will never replace your friend’s thoughtful gift to you.”
“What is your husband willing to sacrifice for this couch he wants?”- Seed_Planter72
The OP later returned with an update, sharing where things stood between her, her husband, her clothes and a couch, as well as shining some light on her situation:
“Before I posted this, I already started to look for a secondhand couch.”
“I found some from Ashley’s for 100 each, and they are in great condition.”
“He wanted someone new, but he’s happy with it.”
“I found a bunch of stuff around the house that are mine to sell.”
“I put them on market place.”
“I told him I wouldn’t be selling the dresses, but he could sell the ps5 he never plays.”
“We are good now.”
“Thank you all for the reassurance I was feeling guilty for a moment but y’all helped me flip the script and I think we got a good understanding now.”
“Answering questions: we aren’t poor, our bills are paid.”
“But we aren’t rich.”
“I’m a frugal minimalist and I wanted our extra money to be saved for gifts for our kid this Christmas.”
“We can’t afford a brand new couch he wanted.”
“In his defense, I’m frugal, and I think he just wants something new and his.”
“I told him we could sell the things I listed above and whatever else he wanted, but not the dresses.”
It’s honestly easy to understand how the OP’s husband saw her expensive clothes as a way to finally secure the couch of his dreams. What he didn’t understand, however, is that those clothes were his wife’s property, and only she had any say in what to do with them.
Luckily, everything seemed to work out for the best.
Perhaps when the OP’s husband finally sees her in those beautiful clothes, he’ll finally understand why she was so adamant about keeping them.