It’s all well and good when we do something nice for a family member, like letting them move in for a while, so they can comfortably look for their next place to call home.
But when that family member starts abusing boundaries or basic house rules, the gesture doesn’t feel so nice anymore, confided the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor aitanudistbrother was shocked when she came home to discover her younger brother was a practicing nudist, sitting naked on her couch.
When she gave him the choice to put on some clothes or move out, the Original Poster’s (OP) brother was furious.
She asked the sub:
“AITA for threatening to kick my brother out over his lifestyle choices? He’s a nudist.”
The OP offered to let her brother move in for a while.
“Recently, my (27 [Female]) brother (23 [Male]) lost his job and couldn’t afford rent, so I decided to let him stay at my apartment rent-free until he got another.”
“I’m able to support two people, we have a good relationship, and he agreed to do half of the chores and the cooking (he cooks pretty well), so I thought it was a great deal.”
But then the OP was shocked when she arrived home.
“Yesterday, when I came home from my job, I had the surprise to see my brother naked on my couch, watching the tv.”
“I froze, a bit out of shock, and then asked him what the h**l he was doing sitting on my couch naked.”
“He tried to explain himself, but I just told him to put on clothes first and we would talk later.”
“Once he got dressed, he told me that he was a nudist, and that he preferred to not wear clothes because it was healthier and more natural.”
“I told him that I didn’t have a problem with him being a nudist, it’s just that I didn’t want to see him naked in my home.”
“I explained to him that he is my brother and I don’t feel comfortable seeing his private parts at all and that even if he didn’t see nudity as sexual, I did.”
The OP gave her brother a choice.
“He answered that he wouldn’t put clothes on when he was home and that it was tiring enough to have to be dressed in public.”
“I told him that if he would like to be naked at home, he needed to find his own place.”
“I let him know he needed to make a decision: be clothed here or he had to get out.”
“Today he mostly ignored me (and was clothed, thankfully).”
“I feel guilty because he would probably be homeless if I kicked him out, but at the same time, I don’t want to see him naked.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some thought this was an insult to the nudist community.
“NTA! OMG, your COUCH! Responsible nudists don’t sit on anything without a towel, FFS (for f**k’s sake), and they don’t make non-nudists take part vicariously! He needs his own place, now!” – melfava
“NTA. He can rub his genitals on a bench in the park instead of your sofa.”
“If you haven’t consented to have a nudist in your home, they absolutely have no right to be parading around naked in your living room.”
“He can be naked when in his room, with the door closed, but treat the common areas as public areas, where clothes are not optional.” – Slow-Bumblebee-8609
“NTA. There’s nothing wrong with being a nudist – but you can’t force someone else to deal with your naked a** on their furniture.”
“He stays clothed with a roof, or he moves out and rubs his a** all over his own belongings – those are his choices.” – NUT-me-SHELL
“I spent a few months in a nudist colony when I was younger, and the reason they live in colonies is because everyone present has consented to be exposed to nudity.”
“If ever anyone had to go into town to pick up supplies, or to visit a friend outside the colony, they went clothed, even if only in a swimsuit of some description, because it’s generally understood that it’s a d**k move to forcibly expose others to your naked body.”
“Also, it’s considered a big no-no amongst nudists to sit bare-a**ed on surfaces. Everyone has a towel, or a cushion, or something to put down under them just for the sake of hygiene.”
“For OP’s brother to not only demand he be allowed to be naked in the common areas of her house, but also to rub his nude a** all over her sofa and chairs is considered the absolute height of rudeness amongst most honest-to-god nudists.”
“If this is the lifestyle he wants to live, he needs to get out amongst the community to learn what’s acceptable and what’s not. Being a nudist doesn’t mean you can just be naked wherever you like. NTA.” – leftytrash161
Others reiterated that it was perfectly okay for the OP to have boundaries.
“NTA. It’s your home, you’re paying for everything, and therefore, it’s your rules. He should put his clothes on or find his own place if you’re not comfortable.”
“And as a nudist, let me reiterate you are not the AH here. He is.” – gthomps83
“NTA. Brother or not, telling people staying in your home that they need to wear clothes in common areas is a reasonable boundary.” – Finn-Illusion
“To be comfortable living with a nudist, you are yourself usually a nudist.”
“OP is not a nudist, and her brother should have discussed with her beforehand.”
“While it’s not sexual, you still need consent to be naked in front of another person.” – withered_love
Some agreed with this and stressed that the OP was not asking for much.
“NTA. Your brother is a fool if he thinks he can make rules in your home when you are allowing him to live there rent-free. If he has his own room, tell him to be naked there. Otherwise, put on some shorts.”
“He is taking a liberty that he knows would only fly in his own home by himself. Until then, he needs to cover his a** and dangly bits unless he likes living in his car or a box.” – livinlikeriley
“If I could live with someone for free, I would also do more than half the chores. Half the chores is for when you contribute half.”
“And of course, I would definitely not be naked on their couch demanding to stay naked.” – sharonvd
“‘I do not consent to seeing you nude.'”
“Really, f**king, simple. The boundary is set, it’s clear, there’s no ambiguity or room to maneuver.”
“If he had any other housemate, he’d have the same restrictions unless they specifically were nudists and comfortable with him in their shared spaces.” – Sirix_8472
Though her brother was angry about this, the subReddit really didn’t think the OP was asking for a lot, especially since she was already taking care of the rent.
Most importantly, consent is not limited to only sexual acts, but any situation in which a person might be exposed to someone else’s body. By not having this important conversation with her before moving in, the brother basically guaranteed an awkward conversation coming up at some point.