Whenever planning to go on a trip, it is wise to establish a spending limit for the duration of the trip.
But of course, if multiple people are traveling, the budget might adapt, based on everyone’s income and how they’re splitting the expenses.
It’s disheartening, however, if the trip suddenly becomes unaffordable for someone with a lower income, pointed out the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor skatergorl88 found herself struggling with the idea of traveling with her boyfriend, who wanted to travel within his means instead of her own.
When she heard his disdain, the Original Poster (OP) wasn’t sure how to proceed.
She asked the sub:
“AITA for being upset my boyfriend wants to fly first class without me?”
The OP and her boyfriend had serious income disparity.
“We’ve been together a little over a year.”
“I’m still in college and don’t have a ton of money, I work in retail part-time.”
“He graduated a couple of years ago and is making 6 figures per year.”
The OP had to budget in order to afford traveling with her boyfriend.
“He wants to go on a trip with me in a few months, which I can afford as long as I don’t splurge on too many ‘extras,’ like really expensive dinners or first-class tickets.”
“I’m very petite and I originally wanted to fly Spirit because it’s so cheap.”
“But my boyfriend is 6’2 and would’ve been super uncomfortable the whole flight (about 6 hrs).”
“I compromised and agreed to spend more for a regular airline where he fits in the economy seats.”
But then her boyfriend challenged her budget with a change of plans.
“Now he’s saying he wants to upgrade to first class for himself.”
“There’s zero way I can afford a first-class ticket and he doesn’t want to pay for 2 of them.”
“I’m kind of upset, since I don’t want to spend a 6-hour plane ride by myself, but I know it would be more comfortable for him.”
The OP tried to compromise but to little effect.
“I asked if he would be okay just getting the exit row seats so he has the legroom.”
“He kinda brushed me off and said he just wants to do first-class.”
“I honestly thought I was in the right, but AITA?”
“Am I being unreasonable?
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some were appalled by the boyfriend’s selfishness.
“This is exactly the issue and not the not sitting together. My ex-bf and I used to travel a fair amount and we would sit separately most of the time due to not wanting to pay extra to choose seats. It’s just a couple of hours so it’s not a big deal.”
“But when one person has the money to take an upgrade and isn’t willing to upgrade the other person or meet somewhere in the middle, that’s an issue.”
“He’s basically setting the tone for how finances will be cut in the future. He’s saying that she’s not a priority; a comfy seat and not paying extra for her to have the comfy seat too is.” – MonsterMeggu
“She had already compromised and it was clearly a ploy to get to a plane he could upgrade on. So tacky. Proof money doesn’t buy class.” – Jolly-Accountant-722
“I had a BF like this and I really wish I’d seen it for the red flag it was.”
“OP, your boy is giving you a good insight into who and what he is, here. Please pay attention.” – SugerVMurdererTits
“OP compromised with him to fly the same plane. I’m guessing the compromise occurred with the expectation of sitting next to each other because that’s what couples do?”
“If OP’s BF never intended to sit next to her, he could’ve saved OP a lot of money by letting her use whatever airline she wanted. The result of this ‘compromise’ just resulted in OP paying more money for no reason.” – tungsten_22
“This is a red flag. Mr. Privileged wants to sit in first class, and it’s ok with him if you’re not next to him. Mr. Privileged will want to splurge on fancy restaurants that you can’t afford. Mr. Privileged won’t consider a vacation you can comfortably manage, but he won’t pay for you either.”
“There was a post like this some time ago when the girlfriend went on a vacation with her wealthy bf and his wealthy family. Because of the places they chose to go for meals, she was quickly going broke and was actually starving.”
“She would miss meals, claiming not to be hungry. She became ill. She also had to pass on activities she couldn’t afford, and stayed in her room. BF and family were oblivious.”
“I think you and Mr. Privileged need to have a serious conversation. Better yet, find a nicer guy.” – Alive_Good_4138
Others agreed and questioned how fun the trip would actually be.
“NTA. Sorry, but your boyfriend’s being a snob. Who invites their GF on an expensive vacation making 6 figures, while their GF works retail in college, and not only doesn’t help them with the cost but upgrades to first and leaves their GF alone for 6 hours? Doesn’t sound like a fun vacation.” – EffectiveApricot
“It doesn’t sound like he wants to spend time with OP at all.”
“I’ve been lucky enough to go on several trips recently with my partner (who lives in another state). He absolutely can afford things that I can’t even consider at the moment, and he wants to share those experiences WITH ME.”
“It sounds like the bf isn’t at all thinking about sharing the experience, he just wants to bring his sex object along for the ride.” – JuicyJay
“It’s a vacation, it should be nothing but fun and relaxed. With these premises, I would just not go. I’m afraid similar issues will arise, such as he really wants to eat at that expensive restaurant, etc… NTA.” – Trilly_in_space
“I bet he’ll want to go to all the fanciest restaurants and excursions too and expect OP to pay her own way. She already stated she has to budget, but she’ll be tapped out halfway through the trip.” – trinamarie53
Some questioned the future of the relationship period.
“OP and bf have a financial disparity. BF understands but is unwilling to compromise. It’s unfair to expect someone who can’t afford the same vacation to go with you. The bf must adjust expectations to meet in the middle or travel alone.”
“OP, it looks like you need a new bf. One that respects your income circumstances and frankly, it’s disrespectful to ask someone to travel with you and abandon them. What happens when he wants to go to an expensive restaurant and you can’t afford it?”
“I had a friend who traveled with her then bf under this same kind of situation. Her bf got angry and left her. He checked into a different hotel.”
“She had no money to change her flight to come home. She spent three days in a hotel room in an expensive area without being able to afford meals in the resort he picked.”
“The kind of person willing to buy a single seat in first class is the kind of person who is capable of leaving you stranded mid-journey. Save your money. Take a trip you can easily afford with someone else. Good luck!” – Bookish-3920
“Just dump this one; he’s selfish and inconsiderate. NTA.” – usernaym44
“When you’re in a relationship with income disparity, it’s important to talk openly about it.”
“Some people in these situations choose to compromise by having the higher earner adapt to the lifestyle of the lower earner. Others choose to pay more proportionally so that both parties can enjoy more expensive experiences.”
“It’s not at all reasonable or sustainable for the lower earner to either live as a second class partner or drown themselves financially to keep up.” – SwimmingRazmatazz25
“I think OP should rethink this relationship. Bf wants to enjoy nicer things, but won’t pay to upgrade both of them, so is happy for OP to sit out in economy after upgrading to pricer tickets to try and accommodate him.” – scarlettslegacy
Thoroughly confused by her situation and not sure what to do next, the OP reached out to the subReddit, where she received all the verbal support she might have needed. Not only was her boyfriend being selfish and financially unrealistic, but his behavior spoke volumes, putting their relationship in not the best light.