in , ,

Teen Upsets Parents By Clapping Back At Neighbor Who Told Her She Dresses Like A ‘Whore’

drbimages / Getty Images

Introducing yourself to someone new can usually pass without incident, especially if it should just be a quick “Hello!” But it’s really easy for either party to make things awkward with just a few words.

When Reddit user lilac-lampshade was introduced to her new neighbor by her parents, the original poster (OP) was insulted by the neighbor’s comment. Because of this, OP responded in anger.

Now she’s asking the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) board if she was wrong.

The question OP asks is:

“AITA for telling my neighbor that I’m a whore”

That question must have an interesting story:

“So I (18f) just got home from college and my parents introduced me to our new neighbor (around 60f). She moved in a few months ago and had gotten along with my parents pretty well from what I had heard.”

“The day I met her I was wearing a halter top and shorts, and after my parents introducing us she looked me up and down and told me something along the lines of ‘oh sweetie, you shouldn’t be wearing things like that, you’ll give boys the wrong impression.’”

“I asked her what kind of impression and she told me ‘well, that you’re a whore.’ My parents looked at me and tried laughing the comment off, but I wasn’t having it, so I responded “‘well good thing I am a whore then!’”

“My neighbor was taken back to say the least, and told me I shouldn’t joke about things like that, and so I told her it wasn’t a joke, and that I have had countless sexual partners (which isn’t actually true).”

“I admit I may have taken it a little too far. She had no response, so I told her it was nice meeting her and I walked back to my house, I heard my parents profusely apologizing to her as I left.”

“I got home and my dad got angry with me, telling me that I ruined their relationship with their neighbor and that I had to go apologize.”

“I told them no because I wasn’t going to stand for being slut shamed by anyone because of how I choose to dress, he told me I was ungrateful and gave me a ‘respect your elders’ speech before storming off.”

“Since then my mom hasn’t spoken to me and my dad has told me that I’m an asshole and has pestered me to apologize to her many more times, even to the point of saying that if I don’t, he might not let me live here anymore (I don’t think the threat is actually credible… he just really wants me to apologize).”

“I recognize that I probably took it too far, but this wouldn’t have happened at all if she hadn’t tried to tell me I was dressed like a whore in the first place… so reddit, AITA?”

OP knows she reacted in anger, but does that mean she was wrong, considering what her neighbor said? To determine that, the AITA board will vote to decide.

This is done with the following comments:

  • NTA – Not the A**hole
  • YTA – You’re the A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everybody Sucks Here

While OP’s reaction wasn’t perfect, it was pretty justified. What kind of stranger meets someone and tells them first thing that they’re dressed wrong?

OP was NTA to respond poorly to someone trying to slut shame her.

“NTA”

“She’s said something incredibly rude and you ran with it and flipped it on her. Maybe she’ll learn that you just shouldn’t talk to women that way.” madelinegumbo

“Yeah like sure be respectful and nice to people but if they aren’t going to treat you well in turn destroy them. Age has nothing to do with it.”Pokabrows

“NTA, but I will say maybe not the smartest way to fire back at a sh**ty old person, because you kind of made her think her thoughts were more valid- rather than confront her with how despicable what she said is.”

“The big question here is why your parents think it’s okay for some lady to insult their daughter, and that you’re supposed to just take it.”Half_Man1

“Right, I definitely don’t think that someone’s body count classifies them as a whore or not, I just figured it was the fastest way to shut her up lmao”lilac-lampshade (OP)

“NTA, ‘Respect your elders’ please- I’d tell your Dad how surprised you are given how much that age group cares about MaNnErS that she thought it was okay to call someone YOU JUST MET a whore.”

“Respect is given to equal respect. I would have taken it even further and asked if she wanted to give any of her grandsons my onlyfans handle, support your neighbor during this pandemic”thatmiswesterngothic

Some of the other comments weren’t so sure and though both the neighbor and OP were a**holes. But this just led to debate on how OP should have reacted.

At minimum they agreed the neighbor was a jerk.

“ESH. She shouldn’t have said that, but she did, and I would have said ‘I don’t tolerate anyone speaking to me that way or commenting on my clothes. Don’t do it again’. And left.”

“I just wish people would say what they mean without the dramatics or passive communication.”TheUnwrittenScript

“I think it’s still NTA. Defending herself as ‘not a whore’ lends credence to the neighbor’s opinion that it’s okay to insult sex workers.”

“If she says, ‘well yes, I am a whore,’ the neighbor has to deal with the fact that she’s prejudiced against perfectly nice people who may well be her neighbors’ child. What was once a dehumanized group of people she considered worthy of contempt now has a face.”

“She probably won’t actually stop being hateful, but the point isn’t ‘I don’t deserve that treatment,’ but rather, ‘no one deserves that treatment.’”SteveGuillerm

“Respect elders? Come on. We know that doesn’t blanket apply to everyone who just happens to be older than us.”

“She was terribly rude but ESH for you escalating like that.”

“I think I’d apologize and say ‘I’m sorry I was rude in response to your comment. I believe women should stick together to make it a better world for each other. Our clothes shouldn’t define us regardless but, in the future, I’ll treat you with respect and I hope you do the same for me’.” Imaginary_Cow_5859

“But she didn’t escalate, she just used the same word the old woman did and refused to consider it an insult.”

“If anything, it was deescalating.”

“And that’s why the old biddy is pissed AF, OP blocked her from that line of attack, so she has to fall back on ‘rudeness’.”

“Were rudeness means ‘how dare she not let me win and cater to my feelings, waaaah’”owl_duc

Maybe OP could have responded more tactfully, but she is far from being in the wrong. The neighbor should be less judgmental or at least learn to be polite when first meeting someone new.

Written by Ben Acosta

Ben Acosta is an Arizona-based fiction author and freelance writer. In his free time, he critiques media and acts in local stage productions.