You don’t mess with people’s food. This social rule is well known.
It is also an unspoken agreement when eating someone’s cooking that you trust them to have been honest about what is in it.
Redditor aita412 turned to the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for judgement on their long lasting reaction to a relative that tricked them into eating an ingredient they avoid.
”AITA for refusing to eat my cousin’s cooking after she once tricked me into eating a food she knows I don’t like?”
The Original Poster (OP) went into detail about the cousin cooking conundrum.
“So the backstory here is that I don’t like cottage cheese- it’s not a big deal. I’m not one of those people who always goes on about foods they don’t like or hates on others for liking it or anything, but I just happen not to like cottage cheese.”
”This is general knowledge within our family, they’re all crazy about cottage cheese and I always have to remind them to please not serve me any.”
“On this occasion, my cousin wanted to make dinner for everyone at a family gathering. She said she had a new recipe for lasagna that she wanted to try out.”
”While she was cooking, I asked her if she needed any help in the kitchen. She said that she didn’t want my help or for me to be in the kitchen at all because the recipe was a ‘family secret’ from her husband’s side of the family.”
”I did notice that she let our other cousin help out despite saying this, but I didn’t really think anything of it at the time. So she makes her lasagna, we eat it, and after dinner she asks only me, specifically, how I had liked the lasagna.”
”I said it was delicious. She got this smug look on her face and shouted, ‘HA! It had cottage cheese in it, and you ATE it!’”
“I was confused and asked what she was talking about. She said that she had subbed out the ricotta cheese for cottage cheese and that I hadn’t even noticed.”
”I now start thinking about how she kicked me out of the kitchen and asked if that was why she wouldn’t let me help in the kitchen, and she said, ‘Yes. I know you don’t like cottage cheese and I wanted you to eat some, so I didn’t want you to know what was in the lasagna.’”
“I told her that was really rude and sh*tty, and that she basically lied to me about what was in my food. She said it didn’t matter what was in it, because I liked it.”
”I said that I would’ve still tried it even if I’d known there was cottage cheese (it’s a common thing to put in lasagna instead of ricotta, and it’s just that I don’t like eating cottage cheese straight-up by itself, it’s fine as an ingredient) so it was extra sh*tty to lie.”
”She just doubled down that it was funny that she got me to eat cottage cheese and that I liked it. So that was several years ago.”
”Since then, whenever there’s a potluck or we get together for holidays or whatever, I won’t touch anything that cousin made. I just don’t trust her anymore.”
”I’ll never know if she put something random in the food to mess with me or as a ‘joke’ and honestly I’m still just generally upset on principle that she tricked me in the first place- yes, even if the lasagna is good.”
“She recently called me out for this and said I’m just being a b*tch about it now because the lasagna incident was years ago. AITA?”
”Edit to add: I don’t make a big deal or say anything about not taking her food, just that I don’t serve myself anything that I saw her bring to the party.”
Redditors were asked to decide what they thought by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors reached a consensus declaring the OP was not the a**hole.
“NTA. It’s not about the cottage cheese, it’s about her trying to trick you and ‘prove’ that you like cottage cheese. The issue is trust, and she’s shown that she’s not trustworthy when it comes to food for you.”~Sadiekat
“NTA. I’m not really sure how much of an asshole your cousin was in the OG scenario, but I can see how the ‘haha you didn’t even know!’ routine would quickly get old.”
”As it stands, you’re just not eating her food so it’s not like you’re doing anything to her, seems like she should get over herself.”~GrayManGroup
“When I was in my very early 20s I was briefly dating/hanging out with a guy who absolutely *loathed* mustard. One day we were having a spring grill and chill with some friends and I offered him some of this delicious kebab kind of thing made with chunks of ham, pineapple, pepper and onion grilled on a skewer – knowing full well that it had been brushed with a mustard sauce.”
“Well, he ate it, and I asked if he liked it and he said he did – and just like your cousin I said ‘HA! It has mustard on it! And you ATE IT!’ And he promptly threw up in front of me. I will never ever do anything like that ever again and OP you are NTA.”~outtheother
“NTA. She thinks tricking people about what’s in their food is funny? H*ll no. Sure, it was ‘just’ cottage cheese and no allergies involved, but it establishes her as untrustworthy. AITA has seen things like putting slugs in food.”~judy_mcjudgeypants
“NTA, I hate when people do this like it’s some grand prize to get someone to eat something the don’t like. It’s beyond petty and childish.”~Organic_Neck5585
Whatever the family thinks, it doesn’t look like this lady is risking eating her cousin’s cooking ever again.