Getting a baby to sleep through the night can be a grueling task.
Some kids take to sleep easily, some not so much.
It can be so stressful that some parents are forced to live in silence in fear of waking the little one.
It is a part of the process, though.
Everybody, including the baby, is going to have to learn eventually.
Redditor SouthernCheek2393 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit.
They asked:
"AITA? Husband keeps waking up the toddler?"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"So our toddler started sleeping alone about a month ago (15 months now)."
"She goes to sleep around 7 pm."
"I tried to be very quiet at least until she falls asleep so I don't wake her."
"I do a lot of household chores when she goes to sleep, but I do them quietly."
"My husband, on the other hand, makes so much noise."
"Of course, I also will accidentally make a noise once in a while."
"I am very apologetic and feel bad right when it happens."
"He, on the other hand, will make noise and not even care much."
"I literally yell at him every day because he always wakes up our toddler."
"His office wall is connected to her bedroom, so any noise he makes while sitting at his desk (like eating or clicking his mouse loudly) will wake her up."
"I get mad at him, but he treats me like I'm overreacting."
"I again called him today, asking him to please try to be quiet after he slammed his plate down when getting food to heat up in the kitchen."
"He told me, 'You'll just have to get over it, it's life.'"
"He also told me that he's mad cause he can't even make noise in his own house."
"I don't feel like I am being unreasonable because as long as he's quiet enough that he doesn't wake her, I don't care."
"I am just tired of being the only one who cares."
"He brings up the fact that I also make noise, but at least I intentionally try not to and feel bad if I'm accidentally loud."
"I just hate to hear my daughter cry because she was woken up."
"It literally causes me anxiety, and I can't do anything until she falls back asleep."
"A minor update... I have a sound machine that we run pretty loudly, so that isn't a solution."
"Also, when I say eating, I mean slamming his fork down on his plate."
"He plays video games, so the clicking is like banging his mouse... lol."
The OP was left to wonder:
"So... AITA?"
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP WAS the A**hole.
"I was with you until you admitted that the 'noise' he is making is clicking his mouse and eating food in another room."
"Your daughter needs to learn to sleep through noises like that, and at this point, it's your anxiety that is making this into a whole thing."
"YTA." ~ Swirlyflurry
"Kids need to learn to sleep through noise."
"I would vacuum in the room when my firstborn was an infant."
"Nothing changed within the goings on in the household with any of my kids."
"Otherwise, you're dealing with issues like this." ~ jentlyused
"This. I used to vacuum underneath my son's crib when he was sleeping."
"I didn't shut either kid's doors when they slept."
"It was the best advice my Mom gave me- don't close their door when they are babies."
"A train could have driven through, and they would sleep like the dead."
"They're adults now, and my daughter's husband is amazed at what she can sleep through."
"Including alarm clocks. Lol."
"I warned him when they moved in together." ~ Various-General-8610
"It sounds to me like when this child was an infant, they didn't make noise around her at all when she was sleeping."
"Now, they can't."
"This was their mistake."
"Babies will learn to sleep through the noise when they are very young, but they can't learn that if parents don't make noise when they are sleeping." ~ UnicornFarts1111
"'Clicking his mouse loudly?' YTA."
"Life has to continue to happen even when the toddler is asleep."
"It doesn't sound like he is doing anything unreasonable."
"If he turned up music or ran the vacuum cleaner, you would have legitimate beef."
"It sounds like he is making an effort."
"Put her in another room if his mouse clicking is too much."
"Toddler will get used to ambient noises and sleep through them soon enough."
"Calm down." ~ underwater_owl
"YTA. If noises like 'clicking loudly' are sufficient to wake her, then it isn't your husband's fault."
"Look into moving around living situations so her room is more isolated, or get a noise machine to try to drown them out." ~ YoshiJoshi_
"I was with you until I read this: 'clicking his mouse loudly', Really?"
"How does anyone click their mouse loudly?"
"You sound like Liz, who killed her husband, Bernie, for chewing his food too loudly in the Cell Block Tango. YTA." ~ Individual_Ad_9213
"YTA blaming the guy for eating or using the computer is unreasonable."
"Some kids are light sleepers."
"A Kid may wake up and fall asleep several times a night."
"If you expect him not to use his office, either move the baby's room or move his office."
"Honestly. If you also wake up the baby and you're not in the adjoining room, the fact that you feel bad about it doesn't seem to be a factor here."
"You have to calm down."
"The child will fall back asleep."
"You can't have everyone else in the household tiptoeing around it."
"It's unsustainable."
"Edit to add: OP states child co-slept for 15 months and is now in their own bed."
"OP, I think you're the one who's having trouble with this transition, and instead of recognizing that, you're making your husband the bad guy." ~ TALKTOME0701
"You have shot yourself in the foot by training her from the start to sleep in silence."
"From day 1, there should have been lots of noise; hell, run a vacuum cleaner near her."
"Life goes on."
"Start getting her used to noise when sleeping, it may not be too late. YTA." ~ Buckupbuttercup1
"YTA. Eating or clicking his mouse loudly wakes her? Seriously?"
"I work from home."
"You just click the mouse."
"We don't have a volume button on it."
"Also, you should be making normal noises since birth so that they learn to sleep through them."
"He should be able to eat and work without a problem."
"Maybe put a noise-canceling machine in her room."
"Or something that plays sounds like the ocean or raindrops to drown out his eating and working."
"S**t, even a fan... you're being ridiculous."
"Make noise."
"You're doing this child a disservice by training her not to sleep through regular noise."
"If he was blasting music or something, I would say he's the AH."
"But the man is simply working and trying to have a meal."
"PS. You super suck for yelling at him every single day for just existing."
"I'm still annoyed that his office WALL is connected to her room, and you think his mouse clicks wake her."
"Eye roll."
"Move her bed then." ~ Appa1904
"Father of four here..."
"Kids need to learn to sleep with normal noise levels."
"I'd love to see a picture of this mouse that clicks loudly enough to wake someone. YTA." ~ wesmorgan1
"You know I was ready to call you not the AH until you mentioned 'eating or clicking his mouse loudly.'"
"If those are the things you're taking issue with with him, I actually don't blame him for being frustrated."
"If you had said he was talking loudly or laughing or slamming things around, that would be different."
"Honestly, it doesn't sound like the issue is with your husband but with your toddler."
"Maybe you need to talk to your pediatrician about why she is such a light sleeper, because it's really not reasonable to expect complete silence every night for hours at a time. YTA." ~ blue-and-bluer
"You could have trained the toddler to sleep through noises early on."
"My sister did it 3x."
"They slept through the vacuum even."
"The last baby slept through literally everything in the same room because she had toddler siblings being loud constantly."
"He's right, though."
"You can't tiptoe around for your whole lives."
"Y'all made that bed, now you lie in it until you fix it." ~ GretaClementine
"YTA. He's not cranking death metal, he's just existing."
"Toddlers need to be able to sleep through routine home sounds."
"If your sound machine isn't working, change it."
"A standing oscillating fan makes decent white noise without visible blades."
"Or play low soothing music in her room."
"Try different things and let the house breathe and live like a functional home." ~ MissMandaRegrets
"Neither you nor your husband should have to live like a mouse for multiple hours every day."
"Don't blast music, sure."
"But eating and clicking a mouse?"
"Come on."
"YTA. The kid will never learn to sleep with noise if they don't learn to sleep with noise."
"Clicking a mouse in the next room is hardly noise." ~ ButItSaysOnline
"YTA. Kids need to get used to a certain level of noise when they are sleeping because the world doesn't stop just because they are asleep."
"I don't even consider what your husband is doing as noisy."
"If it's waking your kid up, then talk to their doctor about why they are a light sleeper or just wait it out until they get used to it, and maybe apologize to your husband." ~ Lazy-Association-311
Reddit has some issues with you and your hubby, OP.
Children need to learn how to self-soothe and sleep through noise.
It's a part of life.
You may want to do some research or consult with your pediatrician on how to proceed.
But living in silence doesn't sound like it's going well.
Good Luck.
