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Woman Accused Of ‘Ruining’ Sister’s Wedding By Bringing A Date Who Is Taller Than The Groom

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Many of us have been involved in surprising weddings, either as a guest or as a member of the wedding party. Whether there’s a bridezilla involved or a unique theme, weddings have a way of keeping people guessing.

Most would not assume that a bride would start an unsavory scene the morning of her wedding, admitted the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit, but sometimes even that happens.

Redditor swamp_mouse was the target of one such scene when her sister, the bride, blamed her for the dress she was wearing and her boyfriend’s, checks notes, height.

Completely blindsided by this commotion, the Original Poster (OP) wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do.

She asked the sub:

“AITA for ‘ruining’ my sister’s wedding?”

The OP’s Maid of Honor (MOH) dress was picked out by the bride.

“so, I ([Female] 19) live five hours away from my sister ([Female] 27), and as her MOH and sister, I’ve been helping with a lot of wedding planning (all of it has been over Facetime).”

“She allowed all the bridesmaids to pick their own dresses as long as they stuck to her theme —light yellow.”

“I wasn’t allowed to pick my dress though, because she already chose a sleeveless pale yellow knee-length dress for me.”

“Well, the dress came in, and it was a little lighter than on the website, but that’s to be expected.”

“I showed her a picture and she loved it.”

The bride and groom also said it was okay for the OP to invite her boyfriend.

“I went to the wedding with my boyfriend ([Male] 20) who is 6’8.”

“Neither my sister nor her now-husband had ever met him, but were fine with him coming to the wedding.”

“As soon as my sister saw us, she freaked out and started yelling about how I wore white (the lights were very bright and made the dress look white).”

“She yelled at me for about 10 minutes about the dress before moving on to yell about how my boyfriend was taller than her fiancée (who’s 5’9), so we drew the attention off of them.”

The OP also mentioned her boyfriend’s height, according to the comments.

“I would just like to mention, I told them beforehand (about a month before the wedding) that my boyfriend was taller than the groom. I never gave his exact height, because when I told her, I didn’t know how tall he was. But they were fine with him being taller than the groom.”

The OP stood up for herself, but not everyone agreed with her.

“I, of course, argued back.”

“Everyone in my family thinks I’m the a**hole and should apologize, but I’m not going to; I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“AITA?”

Fellow Redditors weighed in:

  • NTA: Not the A**hole
  • YTA: You’re the A**hole
  • ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
  • NAH: No A**holes Here

Some said the OP’s sister was being an absolute bridezilla.

“OP’s sister is the AH. This bridezilla BS (bulls**t) isn’t cute.”

“If pitching a fit over the color of a dress that you specifically ordered and being livid over the height of a sibling’s SO (significant other) would be insane behavior in your day-to-day life, then it is insane behavior on your wedding day.”

“I think folks need to de-normalize accepting horrible behavior from brides and grooms. Mistreatment isn’t just forgotten the day after the wedding.”Electrical-Date-3951

“I once went to a wedding with an orange and black theme (not Halloween-related surprisingly, just the grooms’ favorite colors), and the only cover-up I could find in the shops that was orange, was a darkish burnt orange tone. Which was fine until I got to the wedding and found that the artificial lights indoors made it look bright red!”

“Sometimes lighting does weird, unpredictable things.”

“But yeah. This is all on the bride. She picked it out and insisted on it. She bought it. She sent it to OP. She knew it was a lighter yellow than the other bridesmaids had.”

“While it would have been better if someone had thought ‘let’s test it under multiple lighting conditions,’ it’s not a problem that most people think of, because it doesn’t happen often, so no one is an a** for not thinking about that.”

“The a**ishness is purely down to the reaction – and I come back to the fact that she’s the one who bought it.”Normal-Height-8577

“I think OP should take screenshots of the conversations and blast it to everyone with the title, ‘She bought the dress and said it was okay after it was delivered and I showed it to her and pointed out it was way lighter, she still was okay with it.'”

“NTA”sigharewedoneyet

Others wondered if the sister didn’t order the dress on purpose. 

“She didn’t just approve it, she ordered it. Honestly, what was she thinking when she chose pale yellow for the dresses? Of course it’s going to look whiter in certain lighting.”ReverseRiku

“Does anyone else think she did this on purpose because she wanted to create a scene and make OP look bad for ‘wearing white’? The taller BF was just a bonus thing to complain about.”apatheticsahm

“NTA.”

“She’s the one who ordered the dress and loved it when you sent her a picture. And she’s the one who made a scene and big deal over the dress at her own wedding. It’s all her fault.”Master-Manipulation

Some didn’t even know where to start on the whole height debacle.

“NTA. She approved the dress, and why would you even think of your boyfriend’s height as something to tell her beforehand?”Sagerie

“NTA.”

“SHE ordered and picked the dress, that’s on her.”

“Boyfriend can’t help being tall, are you meant to shrink him? Get him to shuffle on his knees?”HunterDangerous1366

“Can you imagine the entire audience just wandering about on their knees so as not to upset the bride and groom? That would be one hell of a Polka.”shopgirl2

“First of all, her bringing height into the situation is strange and might have made her fiancé/husband uncomfortable because why does it matter if your boyfriend is taller? Especially if he’s self-conscious about it.”

“And SHE APPROVED THE DRESS. You have every right to stand up for yourself. She decided to make a scene at her wedding. You are not there to be walked on.”

“She picked the dress. So tell her go look at a mirror and argue at herself because that’s her own fault.”probablytabutillask

“NTA”

“Your sister chose the dress for you. The only person she has to blame on that is herself.”

“As far as your bf being taller, what does that matter? Was every other male guest there shorter than him? Are they like Tom Cruise where they specifically choose shorter people and adjust pictures to make him seem taller?”

“This all seems really strange. Especially the family’s reaction unless the sister is the golden child or there is some very important information missing.”RamenNoodles620

“I would almost expect it to go without saying! 5’9″ is below average for a man. (Heck, I’m a woman and I’m taller than him.)”

“If no one at the wedding could be taller than 5’9″, I imagine that would make the guest list…well, almost as short as he is!”

“NTA”mouse_attack

The OP was so surprised by her sister’s reaction, and the subReddit agreed that she should be. Not only did the bride pick out and approved of the dress’s final color, but planning a wedding based on everyone’s height sounds like total nonsense. Even if a boyfriend, not even a fiancé, were to be taller than the groom, should that take anything away from the happy couple?

Written by McKenzie Lynn Tozan

McKenzie Lynn Tozan lives in North Chicago, where she works as a poet, freelance writer, and editor. She received her MFA in Creative Writing from Western Michigan University, and her BA in English from Indiana University South Bend. Her poems have appeared in Rogue Agent, Whale Road Review, the James Franco Review, Thank You for Swallowing, and elsewhere; and her essays and book reviews have appeared with Memoir Mixtapes, The Rumpus, BookPage, and Motherly, among others. When she's not reading and writing, she's in her garden or spending time with her family. For more, visit www.mckenzielynntozan.com.