Many people assume the old saying “blood is thicker than water” is a constant that will always ring true when it comes to family.
You assume that they’ll always have your back, no questions asked.
But one man found himself in a world of hurt when he turned to his sister to back him up after he made an insensitive comment to his wife.
His sister, Redditor rdditaita, in turned asked the subReddit “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) to get an impartial verdict, asking:
“AITA for telling my brother that his wife is right and I’m embarrassed to be related to him?”
The original poster (OP) laid out exactly what went down.
“My (24F) brother (28M) called me yesterday to back him up in a fight between him and his wife (27F).”
“Some background context before we begin, my brother’s wife had just given birth to a son a few weeks ago.”
“So on to what happened in their fight.”
“My brother said he made a passing remark about how his wife’s stretch marks made her look less attractive. (These stretch marks are as a result of her pregnancy + giving birth.)”
“His wife got upset and called him an a**hole for making such a comment. She said that the stretch marks were as a result of bearing their child.”
“My brother said that she couldn’t blame him for not liking her stretch marks (quoting him exactly ‘who likes how stretch marks look?’)”
“They’re not on speaking terms now and my brother basically called me to ask me to talk to his wife for him. I told him no, she was right, he was an insensitive a**hole and that he needed to apologise to her or screw off.”
“He said that it was unfair of me to be so unpleasant to him and that he thought I would support him since I’m his sister. I told him ‘f*ck that right now I’m embarrassed to be related to you’.”
“He told me I was being extreme and that his feelings were deeply hurt. He called me an a**hole for this and said that I was petty.”
“And yes, I may have been a bit extreme.”
“But am I really the a**hole?”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
It became clear pretty quickly that the OP was NTA for telling her brother off.
“NTA ‘that his feelings were deeply hurt’ well at least he knows how his wife feels”—Rogues_Gambit
“NTA – ‘Can’t you tell my wife that everyone thinks she looks gross now, not just me?'”
“Your bro is heading for a divorce…”—J0sey_W4ales_23
“NTA. His feelings were ‘hurt?'”
“His wife may now permanently question her appearance because of his insensitive comments.”
“F*ck him. Stretch marks are tiger strips earned while BUILDING ANOTHER HUMAN LIFE.”—thatsharkchick
Most couldn’t believe the hypocrisy of the brother’s “hurt feelings.”Â
“NTA”
“Wow, sensitive much? You telling him he’s insensitive but him telling his wife she’s unattractive a few weeks after giving birth is totally fine? Pfft.”—the-mirrors-truth
“NTA 100% i can’t believe he would try to use a female sibling to prove his point because he thought that would make his wife roll over.”
“She brought life into the world it’s the most beautiful thing ever, stretch marks and all.”—jahf*ckry
“NTA but your brother sure is. I’m glad you didn’t enable your brother’s AH behaviour and told it to him straight because someone had to.”
“His wife just spent nine months taking on the physical and emotional toll of pregnancy, went through *labour* which is often extremely painful and your brother is more concerned with how her stretch marks look?”
“How shallow can you be?”—pandatree_157
The outrage was palpable.
“Please, what he’s experiencing isn’t even one millionth of the hurt the wife must be going through.”
“Imagine enduring nine grueling months of eldritch distension body horror and extreme mood swings with constant psychological distress as a result of hormone f*ckery all out of a deep and inexpressible love for your partner and your mutual desire to create something beautiful, capping it off with the worst pain a human body can physically experience, then being told by your partner that you are uglier to them for having done all that.”
“FOR THEM. As an act of love and expression of lifelong fidelity and dedication to them specifically.”
“THAT’S how much hurt the wife is going through, and how much of an a**hole the brother is.”
“Even sitting here typing all this out and rationally being aware of all the experiences this woman has had, I still cannot meaningfully imagine or comprehend it on a personal level as a naive 20 year old male.”
“My heart goes out to the poor woman, and I hope the brother sees this and realizes just how much of a gigantic flaming insensitive irredeemable borderline sociopathic a**hole he is.”—BlackEmberAkasha
“I’m amazed there are grown adults who manage to get married and have children and still don’t know when to keep their mouths shut.”
“It’s looked over since it’s so normal to us but it is pretty amazing how we can create life.”
“How with some different genetic information and the various nutrients needed to build it as well as some time a little human is produced that will eventually have thoughts and feelings and opinions of it’s own.”
“Of course something that amazing and magical isn’t going to be easy on the body that’s making the new thing. Like she was literally making new life inside of there and her poor skin had trouble stretching to keep up with how fast the fetus was growing.”
“He should be in awe of his wife for the entire process or at the very least respectful for everything her and her body went through.”
“Yeah that sort of process changes the body in some ways, let’s stick a developing fetus in his body and see how it handles it if he’s gonna be judgmental.”
“I don’t understand how you can be so disrespectful of the mother of your kid for not looking like something out of a magazine after she went though all that.”—Pokabrows
If the OP’s brother is able to salvage his relationship after this, he’ll hopefully think twice about the hurtful things he wants to say.
And if not, don’t expect the OP to back him up any time soon.