When entering a committed relationship, you begin to get more and more comfortable with your partner sharing your things.
Generally speaking, most things you don’t mind sharing with your partner.
But there are some things that are particularly precious, which you might still be somewhat hesitant to let them use freely.
Redditor gfcarmaintaincheat was happy to house-sit for his girlfriend, namely because he took it to mean that he could use one of her cars.
However, when his girlfriend returned home, she was less than pleased to discover the original poster (OP) used this car without consulting her first, and even less pleased that he caused damage to it.
And when she told the OP her expectations when it came to the repairs, he was less than willing to oblige.
Wondering if he was in the wrong, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I the A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for not wanting to pay for my girlfriend’s car maintenance after I used it with permission once while pet sitting for her.”
The OP explained how his girlfriend was less than pleased to discover he used one of her cars while housesitting, and made what he considered an unreasonable request.
“My girlfriend (28 F[meale]) was traveling and asked me (30 M[ale]) to stay at her place and look after her dogs.”
“She told me I could use her car for anything I needed during my stay.”
“She has two cars and did not specify which one.”
“A Porsche 911 GT3 and a Toyota Camry.”
“I used the Camry most of the time but took the Porsche for a short road trip to a hiking trail and I hired a dog sitter that day.”
“We did have fun with it in an empty field, but nothing too extreme or going over what the car is rated for.”
“When she got back, she noticed the Porsche was dirtier (I did not leave it extremely dirty or anything, just a normal amount of dirty) and asked me if I used that car. I said I did but only once.”
“She got upset and said that I should have known when I said the car she meant only the Toyota as she always refers to the Porsche as the Porsche or the GT3.”
“She herself only uses that car for special occasions and sometimes takes it to a track, and I thought our trip counted as a special occasion.”
“She got the car checked as she claimed it felt different, and came back with an incredibly expensive maintenance quote and told me I should pay for the suspension and undercarriage damage parts of the bill.”
“I feel like she is being an AH I only used it for one day, and I said I did not know maintenance was part of the deal and that I felt tricked.”
“I offered to pay for the whole service of the Camry the next time it needs it.”
“She got the other car knowing the maintenance is high for her hobbies and is trying to shift the maintenance cost to me.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The OP found little to no sympathy from the Reddit community, who agreed he was most definitely the a**hole if he didn’t pay for the repairs to his girlfriend’s Porsche.
Everyone agreed that the OP was completely in the wrong for using his girlfriend’s Porsche without permission, particularly as he used it in a manner the car shouldn’t be used.
“You took someone’s Porsche into a field?!?!”
“Enough to get it dirty!”
“You drifted it, didn’t you?”
“And who is the ‘we’ that went into the car?”
“If it were routine maintenance like an oil change, I don’t; it’s not on you.”
“I suspect it’s more about alignment, tires, clutch, or breaks, isn’t it?”
“Those are all issues that can develop from driving the car hard, which you did.”
“You didn’t NEED to hoon her car around in a field.”
“You’re an AH.”
“The reason she doesn’t drive the Porsche around much is that the maintenance on those is expensive.”- Fatigue-Error
“You took the Porsche to a hiking trail and HAD SOME FUN with it in an empty field?”
“You took an expensive, touchy car which is apparently tuned for track usage to a trailhead (which often requires either driving on gravel roads or parking in poorly maintained areas) and then took it into a FIELD???”
“Oh, and you almost certainly damaged the suspension and undercarriage here.”
“Pay for the damage you did.”
“This is not maintenance. You did things that damaged her car.”- PurpleMarsAlien
“IDK, dude, sounds like you did know she meant the Camry and chose to play dumb to justify a joy ride.”
“And you didn’t it take it to a track, you took it to a field— it’s a sports car, not an ATV.”
“Pay up, and don’t do it again.”
“The fact that you took the Camry every time except once is a big indicator that you knew she meant the Camry when she said you could use her car.”
“You also knew that even she only used it for special occasions.”
“She also said you could use her car for things you needed… not for ‘fun’ which is what you admit to using the Porsche for.”
“I don’t know whether you damaged the car or not–wouldn’t surprise me if you did.”
“But at the end of the day if you hadn’t taken her car out to ‘have fun in an empty field’ then there would be no question.”
“No one tricked you.”
“You screwed up.”- strikingfirefly
“Saying that you’d only pay for maintenance on the obviously cheaper car is a cop-out, and you know it.”
“And now you’re blame shifting onto her by saying that you felt tricked.”
“YOU TOOK HER CAR OUT FOR A ROAD TRIP AND THEN HIRED SOMEONE ELSE TO DO THE JOB SHE HIRED YOU TO DO, AND NOW YOU FEEL TRICKED?”
“You are a mega-a**hole.”
“I’m unaware of any 911s rated for off-road use.”
“You went turfing in a 911 and probably trashed the suspension.”
“YTA, and f**king pay for your damage.”
“EDIT to add: OK, so I am now aware that there ARE off-road variants of the 911, but:”
“1: the GT3 ain’t one.”
“2: they’re crazy expensive, and his girlfriend doesn’t own one of them.”- Steelguitarlane
“A field and a track are pretty different, and then you’re surprised there might be a suspension and undercarriage problem?”- hazelowl
“You took an expensive as hell car TO A HIKING TRIP?!?”
“HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?!?”
“The price of a Porsche could pay majority of not all of my debts off!”
“And you took it to a field that is not suitable for a SPORTS CAR.”
“And your mad she wants you to pay for repairs?!?”
“You need to pony that money up.”
“Also, she asked YOU to watch her pets.”
“Not a PET SITTER.”
“if she wanted a pet sitter, she’d have used one.”
“And the fact you had a friend in HER car without permission seals your fate as an a**hole.”
“Porsches are not hiking/field cars.”
“You could have severely damaged that car!”
“And the fact you feel no remorse is concerning.”
“Also fyi chances are she’s gonna be an ex soon, especially if you don’t make the amends that are due.”- Alyssa_Hargreaves
A contrite OP later returned to admit he might not have used his best judgment while also clarifying his agreement when it came to house-sitting for his girlfriend.
“I did not know you could not use the car in fields (well, I know but I thought one that was relatively flat would be ok if he drove slow), and my friend really wanted to try the car and pressured me to let him try it in the field even though I was reluctant, but he assured me it would not cause any damage.”
“I will pay the bill, in that case, maybe even the whole bill.”
“I could afford it, and I doubt my friend would pay for it.”
“In the first place, I wanted to fetch my Subaru Outback from my place so we could store more stuff, but my friend convinced me to take the Porsche.”
‘She knew I was going on the trip, and she contacted a dog sitter she trusted, and I paid for it.”
One can at least appreciate that had the OP been better informed, he might not have used his girlfriend’s Porsche.
Even so, one can’t help but notice that the OP didn’t even seem to hesitate to use his girlfriend’s very expensive car in a fairly reckless manner.
One can only hope he learned his lesson, especially if he wants to stay in this relationship.