Car repair is a stressful situation.
It doesn't matter if you're the repairer or the repairee.
Car work is a hassle.
Case in point...
Redditor Snoo59091 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
"AITA for telling a customer that I’m not responsible for filling his car with gas?"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"I (23 F[emale]) work as an auto repair tech in a shop a block from a gas station."
"This will be important later in the story."
"This afternoon a guy (30s M[ale]) came in to pick up his car after having it repaired for a fender bender."
"I was telling him the total as he looked over the car and asked me why it had only a quarter tank of gas left in it."
"I told him I had no idea and didn’t check the gas."
"He then demands I take his car and fill it up with gas or he’s not paying for anything."
"I told him no and if he didn’t pay he wasn’t leaving with the car."
"He complains to my boss (40s M) about what I wouldn’t do and how I’m a bad worker that should be fired."
"My boss backed me up, telling the guy he had 10 minutes to pay for the repair, leave or he’d call the cops."
"He eventually paid but a few of my coworkers said I was a bit rude by not filling his gas tank when he asked."
"Now I must add that, we don’t fill up cars unless they are running on fumes at that point."
"AITA?"
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.
It's a tricky situation.
Let's hear some thoughts...
"If I ever even heard of a repair shop filling my tank I'd be outside with a sign telling everyone to go there because they're the best in the freaking world."
"The idea that you are supposed to do that is insane."
"Who the f**k expects the repair shop to fill your tank?" ~ realauthormattjanak
"The only dealership that I’ve experienced this with is BMW."
"When we take my boyfriend’s car in, they clean the interior/exterior and fill the tank because they have gas on premises."
"This is exceptional service to me because it’s so outside the norm for how dealerships do things in my opinion."
"I’ve never experienced this at other dealerships - not Honda, Toyota, Mitsubishi or Dodge."
"They’ll wash the car sometimes (but always will if you request it), maybe vacuum the interior if they’re feeling extra nice but definitely don’t fill the tank."
"Just texted my grandma and she said Mercedes has never fills her tank either (but now she’s jealous BMW fills ours lol)."
"Any repair shop I’ve gone to would’ve laughed me out the door if I asked them to fill my tank." ~ princess-sauerkraut
"Sometimes the mechanic at the place I take my car because it is where my parents take their cars does it if we ask as part of the repair."
"They've been our mechanics for like 50 years though and are part of a service station that has gas pumps handy though (they just add the gas to the bill)."
"But even they wouldn't assume we wanted gas added unless we'd asked!"
"OP could just as easily have gotten in deep crap with someone who was budgeting on a shoestring."
"And then 'these crooks gouged them for fuel costs!' and then what are they going to do, put the gas back? NTA..." ~ Steamedfrog
"NTA- a quarter tank will get him to a gas station and then some."
"Some people go out of the way to be jerks, and this guy was one of them." ~ PhoenixReboot
"NTA. If he’s so worried about gas, he should have filled it up before bringing it in to your repair shop."
"This guy is an entitled prick." ~ drulenarendes
"NTA - your boss should offer a service like the car rental companies ."
"We’ll fill your car, but it will cost $15 per gallon for us to do so."
"That will shut him up." ~ 86max86
"NTA. Unless the odometer shows your place of work was moonlighting and driving his car around (which I assume was not the case)."
"Why on Earth would he expect you to be filling up his gas tank??"
"He was just a chancer who knows that the price of gas is extortionate right now." ~ Senti2com1
"NTA. He shouldn't make an auto repair shop pay for gas when the gas station is right across the block." ~ Celulestin
"NTA, based on how it sounds your work does things, filling his gas at a quarter tank would just be a nice gesture."
"I've never dropped my car off at a workshop and expected a full tank when I came back."
"If he was so concerned about it, he should've asked if you could do that beforehand." ~ lumigloom
"I have never heard that a car is filled up with petrol at any service/repair center."
"The reason his car only had a quarter of a tank when he picked it up is because it went in with only a quarter of a tank."
"I may expect a couple of pints extra on the clock if the staff need to take the car out to trial any work that was done."
"But that really shouldn't make enough of a difference to the tank."
"He's just trying to get a freebie from you."
"Your co-workers don't understand that it wasn't your responsibility nor your work place's to fill up a customer's car." ~ DiamondHeist1970
"NTA. He just sounds really entitled." ~ stargazer-02
"You really should have filled his tank, changed his oil, polished his knobs and been his personal unpaid chauffeur for a week after kicking his entitled butt to the curb. Definitely NTA." ~ NewComixbear1
"NTA and I’m glad your boss backed you up."
"From what you described, it sounds like the customer was implying that someone used the car so the tank was lower than it should be."
"I’d be offended to be accused as such." ~ Fresh_Process6822
"NTA - I would only fill up the tank if the car was almost out of gas and the business should charge an inconvenience fee for it."
"Business should update their contract and then business pays for it." ~ Snoo90169
"NTA. I have owned cars for over thirty years."
"Never once in my entire life has a repair place put gas in my car."
"I'm astounded that anyone would even ask." ~ Tim-oBedlam
"My mechanic barely acknowledges me when I go in but I go in because he fixes my car without bullsh**."
"He does not detail my car, he does not fill it up with gas, he’s a mechanic not a cleaner/assistant. Wtf was this dude smoking before?"
"Was he going to pay the extra for the gas on his bill or just assumed you’d eat that expense?"
"NTA. Next time, tell your coworkers to go fill the dudes car out of their pocket." ~ fear_nothin
"Who just demands their car be filled with gas after getting it fixed!?"
"Out of all of the repairs I’ve ever had on my car, I’ve never gotten it back with a full tank of gas (brakes/shocks/struts/coolant leak/fender bender)."
"The only time I’ve ever gotten a car with a full gas tank was when I just purchased it, and that’s 100% expected."
"Picking it up from a repair? No."
"This guy is delusional. NTA." ~ AUDMCJSW
"NTA. I'm from California where they definitely cheap out it seems, it seems like a weird expectation to have when you had no course to drive his vehicle, thus didn't reduce any of his gas."
"The gas he came in with is the gas he left with and that seems just fine." ~ JCBashBash
"Not that it has to be said NTA."
"My general experience with mechanics is exactly the opposite."
"I have to take a picture and email/text for a timestamp because of repair shops using my car for errands or siphoning gas or whatever."
"I had to take a shady mechanic to court for putting almost 800 miles on my car during a test drive." ~ zmach21
"NTA. Guy probably throws a fit with any service provider to see if he get extras free of charge."
"Add to it that you’re a young woman in a male dominated industry, and he probably through you were an easy mark."
"F that guy."
"Good on your boss for both backing you up, and not rewarding bad client behavior."
"Every time they win it bolsters their confidence to do it with next business." ~ hellinahandbasket127
"NTA - So why didn't the coworkers pool their money together and fill the tank?"
"If it was so rude, why didn't they step up and buy the gas?"
"I should get my car fixed every week so I don't need to pay for gas from now on."
"Never have I ever received free gas because some business fixed my car." ~ weeblewobblers
OP... it sounds like Reddit is behind you.
It would be lovely if we all could get our tanks filled with repair.
Don't let customers make you stressed.
Woman Breaks Up With Boyfriend Who Worried People Would Think She Was Trans For Using Stand-To-Pee Device
Content Warning: Transphobia, Transphobic Comments
There are countless different reasons that a relationship might end, and a red flag could arise at any time. Some of these might have been learned in childhood and could improve over time.
Transphobia is absolutely a red flag that should be acted on immediately; however, with no option to fly again, pointed out the members of the "Am I the A**hole?" (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor funnelfuss was in the car with her boyfriend when they got stuck in a traffic jam.
She really needed to use the restroom, so since she had a device with her to make the process easier, she decided she'd step out of the car.
But when her boyfriend panicked and thought people might mistake her for a man, the Original Poster (OP) realized that her boyfriend was not who she thought he was.
She asked the sub:
The OP had to use the restroom while stuck in a traffic jam.
"My (26 Female) boyfriend (25 Male) and I got stuck in an insane traffic jam. My boyfriend was driving."
"We were at a standstill. Found out later on, they had closed the highway."
"I had to pee really bad, like bad bad bad. I saw that a couple guys had run to the side of the road to pee, and I decided to do the same."
"It was super open, with a few bushes by the side of the road, really not much cover."
The OP's boyfriend became uncomfortable when he realized she had a pee-to-stand device.
"I have a stand-to-pee device in my car, but when I grabbed it, my boyfriend got all weird."
"He said people would see me pee standing up and think I was Trans."
"I said no one would think that, plenty of women have pee funnels, and that also I didn't care. I have no beef with Trans people!"
"He said I should squat, just to put his mind at ease."
"I said I didn't want to get my butt and c**ch out on the highway in front of everyone, or get pee on my shoes, and I just wanted to be quick and clean."
"He said he didn't want people to look at the girl he was dating and think she was Trans and that I should squat, like GIRLS do."
The OP decided she was over it.
"I was dying by this point. I couldn't hold it anymore, and I really didn't want to show the world my butt, so I ran to the side of the road and slipped the device into my jeans and just peed standing up with my back to traffic."
"No one could see anything; it just slides through the zipper. But I guess maybe if someone was looking, they would be confused? But also, who's LOOKING?!"
"When I got back to the car, my boyfriend wouldn't talk to me. He says I disrespected his feelings. But it was 100% an emergency, and I don't get what his problem was."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that there was nothing wrong with using the restroom how she wanted.
"OP, don't think for one more second about this. Your boyfriend is being ridiculous."
"As if you will ever see any of those people again! Plus, holding it in for too long can cause a whole host of issues."
"It's actually genius that you have something like that in your car, just in case. I'm going to order one too now! NTA." - m_alice88
"'Honey, please show all these strangers your c**ch and a** so they know I'm not gay, mmmm'kay?'"
"A weak man, a very weak man." - lefteyedcrow
"You must have a she-wee! Those are so great for women."
"Tell your boyfriend to get over himself. You had to pee. He does not understand that squatting can suck and leave you exposed."
"If he is that upset you did this, rethink this relationship. I would find it hysterical."
"NTA." - Oktodayithink
"NTA, OP. You just needed a makeshift restroom."
"Your boyfriend apparently thought that it was normal for people to stare at strangers who are trying to pee to evaluate who they are, who they're with, and what the status of their relationship is."
"You know, to pass the time while in gridlock traffic." - Pixichixi
"You did nothing wrong, OP! When you have to go, you have to go. It's healthier to go."
"And don't apologize! We're so wired to reduce conflict, even to the point of downplaying how we feel to keep the peace or end the silence. Don't do it."
"It's a him issue. He thinks his feelings on this are more important than your discomfort about showing your naked body on the side of the road. If he can't figure that out for himself and apologize, it would be a dealbreaker for me." - lelawes
Others agreed and pointed out that the ex-boyfriend was very transphobic.
"NTA. Your boyfriend is clearly transphobic. That is 100% on him. And who cares if people think you are Trans?"
"'He said he didn't want people to look at the girl he was dating and think she was Trans.' And you don't want people to think you're dating someone bigoted and hateful." - GreekAmericanDom
"He may not consider himself transphobic ('I don't hate Trans people! I just don't want to be associated with them or have anyone think I'm with a Trans person!'), but he absolutely is, probably with a healthy side helping of homophobia."
"Why would he care, unless a) Trans women are not women in his eyes, or b) it somehow would be emasculating or embarrassing to his ego to be with a Trans woman."
"Also, you're in a traffic jam. Who the f**k is even watching close enough to care, and who of those people matters enough to give two s**ts about what they think."
"Not to mention, he's being weirdly controlling about your behaviors and how they reflect on him in a scenario where arguably he's never going to interact with a single person he's worrying about." - maladicta228
"This post reminds me of the time I got dressed to go to a function. It was a casual gathering. My kid (this was solidly on their father, my ex, as he's gotten insanely bigoted as he's aged) said, 'Mom, you're dressed like a Lesbian.'"
"Me: 'Lesbians have great fashion sense, I'd love to be mistaken for one.'"
"They paused for a second and realized that I truly wasn't dressing for men (despite it being my husband's work function), and that being seen as a lesbian was a good thing. I'm so glad I raised them to think for themselves, and realize that one can be wrong, admit it, and work on being a better person every day. They've never said anything like that since." - baconbitsy
"He's so insecure (and transphobic) that he cares more about what some strangers in a traffic jam might wrongly assume about you (and thereby him) than YOUR needs, comfort, and health."
"He expected you to prioritize his insecurities (feelings) above that and then punished you when you prioritized your health."
"You sure you want to be with someone like that?? NTA." - molotovmerkin
"Your boyfriend is so transphobic that he wants you to expose your genitalia on the side of the road to prove that you're not a Trans woman because he can't stand the idea of a total stranger, in a neighboring car, whom he will never speak to or see ever again, thinking he MIGHT be SHARING A CAR (because the strangers in other cars have no idea that you're dating) with a Trans woman."
"You're NTA, but get a better boyfriend." - HighCsummer
"Literally, you have to be super transphobic to think people in traffic are gonna judge you if your girlfriend is standing to pee. Like come onnnnnn, this is some insane insecurity." - Responsible-Pickle-2
Some pointed out that not only was the ex-boyfriend transphobic, but also controlling.
"This won't be the last time he expects OP to sacrifice things or make her life worse so that she can conform to his ideal of feminine stereotypes and keep up appearances for his fragile masculine ego."
"And that he gave her the silent treatment for not obliging his transphobia and misogyny disguised as 'feelings' is also problematic." - blancamystiere
"He's insecure and transphobic. He also puts his insecurity and transphobia above your comfort."
"NTA, and honestly, you can do better than this specimen." - PetersMapProject
"NTA. Your boyfriend would have preferred for everyone to see your a** and vagina than have a random stranger think his girlfriend is Trans. He would rather you expose yourself for his personal gain."
"Get a better boyfriend." - Amaze-balls-trippen
"The transphobia? The insecurity? And the silent treatment when he doesn't get his way?"
"So many red flags!" - CarolynDesign
"He also puts his insecurity and transphobia above your comfort and safety."
"He would rather you invite unwanted attention and risk by exposing your private parts to the world than have people think he (who most of the onlookers couldn't even see) might be dating a Trans person."
"NTA. OP, he's too insecure, self-centered, and immature to be a good partner to you, given that he's willing to compromise your safety to avoid a single twinge of discomfort. Dump him." - Hari_om_tat_sat
After receiving feedback, the OP was reassured and shared some positive updates.
"UPDATE: Thank you, everyone, for helping me feel sane again!"
"I got quite a few questions about which device I use, and honestly, it's about what fits you best. There are a ton of options. It's what fits you. Check out pStyle, Freshette, and EllaPee."
"I tried peeing standing up in a toilet, and it worked fine. I think my aim was pretty good, but then I saw little droplets on the floor. No thanks, don't need that. Also, it's loud? Awkward."
"But for the outside, it's pretty fun! I drive a lot, that's why it was in my car. Lifesaver."
"Also, I guess in this case it brought out an ugly side of my (ex) boyfriend and clarified some stuff for me. A winner all around."
"And to all the commenters asking, YES, he is an ex-boyfriend now."
"And yes, there were other red flags."
"Ditched the man, kept the pee funnel. Gonna laugh at him every time I pee standing up."
There's no way to imagine just how awkward the rest of the car ride was after using the restroom and returning to the now-silent and very entitled boyfriend, still stuck in a traffic jam.
But fortunately for the OP, she learned something vital about her relationship during a moment that should have been a total non-issue.
By being concerned about this and expecting the OP to prioritize her ex's pride over her comfort, safety, and cleanliness, her ex told her everything she needed to know.