A man wanted to settle the score once and for all about his guilt for leaving his then fiancée’s side during her time of need.
The incident occurred three years ago and it involved his now wife delivering twins, an epidural and a broken hand.
After reading about a familiar situation, he went to the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit to see what strangers would say in retrospect of his decision to prioritize his needs in a painful moment.
The Original Poster (OP) asked:
“AITA for Going to the ER because my Fiancée Broke my Hand During Labor?”
The OP recalled reading a gripping post which led him here.
“So I just read a post where a guy was complaining about how his wife squeezed his hand to tight in labor and I thought of my story so I decided to ask it here once and for all.”
“Also it’s been 3 years since then and we just adopted our third child.”
“Well I (27 M[ale] at the time) and my then fiance (28 f[emale] at the time) were expecting twin girls. She was about 7 1/2 months along when she went into labor while we were visiting her brother. It was in the middle of the night so we just jumped into the car and drove to the hospital as fast as I could.”
“The hospital was about 2 and a half hours away from my BILS house. by the time we arrived the doctors said it was too late to have an epidural and the babies were coming now.”
“While they were coming I let her squeeze my hand, I was just paying attention to my babies and nothing else however, once they were born and taken to the NICU, my BIL arrived at the hospital (I had left a message on the way there but he had been sleeping) and asked what happened to my hand.”
“I looked at it and realized that she had squeezed it so tight that it was no completely swollen and gross looking. I couldn’t move my fingers. it was my right hand and I’m a lefty so it wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been.”
“Once the adrenaline from my children being born died off a bit my hand starting hurting like hell. At one point my wife was asleep and a nurse came in and her jaw dropped when she saw my hand and said I needed to go get that checked out.”
“The next day after we had been to the NICU to see the girls multiple times and my Fiance was back in the room resting, I decided to go to the ER part of the hospital and get an X-ray, I told my wife where I was going but she got defensive and acted like I was accusing her of something.”
“I also didn’t leave her alone, her mother and father were with her and said that I needed to go get checked out.”
“Well it was definitely broken and I got a brace on it. All the doctors thought it was hysterical when they found out what happened. I went back and my wife was pissed. I kinda still feel like an a** for leaving her but she got over it pretty quick so I’m not sure. AITA?”
Before opening the floor for discussion, the OP confirmed missing details.
“Just wanted to add a few things. I didn’t let her see my hand before I went to the ER so she had no idea that it could be broken.”
“Also a few hours earlier we had found out one of them had failed their hearing test and wouldn’t be able to get a cochlear implant or hearing aids which stressed out my wife, a lot.”
“Also she is an amazing weight lifter so that kinda explains her super-strength.”
Anonymous strangers on the internet weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
“NTA – Your HAND WAS BROKEN” – Pnapple_Upsdwn_cake
“Right? What kind of an a** would be angry at someone seeking treatment for broken hand???”
“If felt guilty and embarrassed about it why couldn’t she just apologize? Don’t get pissed at the person in legitimate need of medical attention. Wtf.” – WorstEscortQuestEver
“She’s not an AH for the breaking of his hand. Delivering without an epidural must be incredibly painful.”
“She’s an AH for being pissed at her husband after he came back from the ER with a friggin cast on his hand. Assuming OP didn’t give her sh*t for it, wife is an AH for her reaction to his injury.” – Cactusjack1984
“I’d never hold the wife accountable considering how traumatic pregnancy can be on a woman’s body but dude, your husband needs medical attention. Even in her emotional state she still had two good eyes in order to see that this IS NOT HOW A HAND SHOULD LOOK LIKE!”
“What did she expect him to do, wait in the room with her until his arm got in such condition he’ll no other choice but to cut it off?” – Pnapple_Upsdwn_cake
The OP confirmed that he spared his wife the horror of seeing her handiwork.
“I didn’t let her see my hand, she was already stressed about the twins and I didn’t want to freak her out even more.”
Some Redditors passed on judging anyone here.
“I would say NAH. The wife had no idea what his hand looked like, she had just given birth and found out one baby failed their hearing test.”
“OP isn’t the AH because broken hand, wife isn’t the AH because she was kinda left in the dark about OPs hand. I’m assuming that either her parents told her how bad his hand looked, a nurse told her. And the final thing she SAW the brace and her hormones what from ‘you left me after I had the girls’ to ‘oh crap he’s hand is broken.’
“Note I am a mother have had two singleton pregnancies and births one of which I went without pain medication it hurts like hell and every emotion is running wild and there’s very little control that soon after birth.” – Togic996
“Childbirth is not just physically traumatic its emotionally traumatic too. she had two babies, premies in the nicu (so add a ton more stress) and had found out one failed the hearing test.”
“No one is allowed to say she is wrong for not reacting well. she probably felt guilty and reacted poorly on account of delivering human babies with her body. but OP is NTA because of course he needed medical attention.” – bbyfcdassassin
Cut to the present, the OP emphasized that despite the stressful event, he would gladly give his right hand for his twins any day.
“Both my hands actually. Hell with it, take all my limbs! Those are my angels!”