Sometimes co-workers become lifelong friends and loved ones.
How could they not?
Everyone is in the grind together day after day.
This also makes for a healthy work environment.
However, some co-workers, while they're nice people, may have some quirks and behaviors that throw the whole environment into chaos.
Redditor goldencain1410 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback, so naturally, she came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit.
She asked:
"AITA for snatching things back from my colleague?"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"I (36 F[emale]) have a colleague, George (58 M[ale]), who has a nasty habit of taking things out of people’s hands without asking: files, memos, communal snacks, etc."
"I don’t believe it’s malicious, because he does it to everyone, and George is spacey--we lovingly call him Goldfish George."
"He’s been here forever and is only a few years away from retirement."
"His behavior causes some office strife, but people mostly ignore it."
"Except for me."
"I absolutely hate having things snatched out of my hands."
"I have no other issue with George--he and I have carpooled together on several occasions, and we get along great."
"Right up until I open a pack of gum, and he grabs a stick before I’ve even had one."
"I’ve discussed it with George more than once: 'Dude, just ask. I promise, I’ll give you some if I can. Think of it this way: if I hand you my wallet, that’s fine, but if you snatch my wallet out of my bag, that’s stealing.'"
"Every time we have this conversation, George swears he understands and that he’ll stop, but then he does it again!"
"Sometimes, it’s not so bad."
"If we’re in the breakroom and he grabs a handful of popcorn I happen to be holding, whatever."
"But last week, he stole a pen from literally between my fingers while I was filling out a form, because he HAD to write down his Very Important Idea."
"It left a giant pen mark on my form, and I had to get a new one."
"I decided I’d had enough and that the next time he grabbed something without asking, I’d simply snatch it back."
"Then he’d finally understand how annoying it is."
"Long story short, my plan didn’t go well."
"Yesterday, I was in the breakroom, eating a big bag of communal chips."
"George came in and yanked them from me as expected."
"I immediately snatched the bag back and said, 'Ask, please! George, we’ve talked about this.'”
"Then I held the bag out to him."
"He huffed and grabbed it so aggressively that it split wide open."
"It was only a quarter full, but we had to clean up the mess, and George was NOT pleased."
"He told me I made him feel like a child."
"Maybe my 'here’s a taste of your own medicine' plan WAS childish."
The OP was left to wonder:
"Am the A**hole?"
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
"You made him feel like a child?"
"'CAUSE YOU ACT LIKE ONE WHEN YOU RIP SH*T FROM PEOPLE'S HANDS!'"
"I'd be messing with him at every chance I got."
"Nothing in his hands would be safe. 😂 ." ~ owaikeia
"Slap his hand away next time!"
"If I'm eating, do NOT just grab my food??? WTF?" ~ PrincessLinked
"A 50-year-old man knows better, and so does a 40-year-old, 30-year-old, and 20-year-old. He's banking on you falling for his spacey personality to get away with being a weirdo." ~ Usual-Dragonfly3791
"This. I scold my 10-11-year-old students (usually boys) who cannot keep their hands to themselves and seem to think that 'but I gave it back!' makes taking someone's things without permission, not stealing."
"It starts young. If this guy never learned his lesson in HALF A CENTURY of living, it's because people overwhelmingly prefer not to cause waves and LET people like him get away with it."
"In my opinion, a lot of things are f**ked right now, but people starting to speak up and telling rude people that their behavior is not acceptable, is one of the silver linings of today's shi*show." ~ NoOccasion4759
"He should be made to feel like a child, because he is a child."
"Stop coddling this person."
"Call him out every single time." ~ Beautiful_Arm8364
"I agree, but he's not going to change."
"If he's a few years from retirement, that means he's old, and the window to shame him into acting like an adult is long past."
"Too many people just let it go for too long to solve the problem now."
"You have to wonder about the decades of that man's life where seemingly no one called him out on his behavior for it to get that bad." ~ Neveronlyadream
"USE A SQUIRT GUN ON GEORGE EVERY. SINGLE. TIME."
"You bet he’s not doing this to anyone higher up. "
"He’s perfectly capable of stopping his rude behavior and is deliberately choosing not to stop. NTA." ~ MizPeachyKeen
"NTA. The only thing you did wrong was give him some after you snatched it back... and help him clean up the mess he made, ruining the snack you were enjoying."
"You made him feel like a child because you reacted reasonably to someone acting like a child."
"Stop gentle parenting this man and start expecting him to act like an adult."
"React to his bizarro behaviour the way you would if any adult did it; with great consternation." ~ dryadduinath
"NTA. He's not doing this because he's spacey; he's doing this because he's entitled, and no one ever stops him."
"I bet if you keep calling him out, he will eventually stop." ~ pampooveysbacktattoo
"Act like a child, get treated like a child."
"This feels like the workplace equivalent of weaponized incompetence. 'Oh, poor me, I’m just a spacey boy! I can’t help myself!'”
"Absolutely not. NTA." ~ pourthebubbly
"NTA. You talked to him multiple times, he kept doing it, and you tried the most logical approach to make him understand how it feels."
"The bag splitting was an accident caused by his own aggressive reaction, not yours."
"If he feels like a child, maybe he should stop acting like one." ~ _Glam_Valentina
"NTA. If he didn't want to feel like a child, he shouldn't be acting like one." ~ notjimbelushi420
"Beat me to it!"
"This is literally a lesson I'm trying to teach my own children, the consequences of their own actions aren't punishments or people being mean to them, they're just the result of the way you act."
"If you grab stuff out of people's hands and they grab it back, it's just how it goes, use your words, be considerate of others, be mindful of your actions."
"All things well-adjusted, responsible adults do." ~ ginger260
"I would have said 'as you should' and walked away."
"Customers at my job often snatch the pen from my hands as I'm circling where they need to sign, making it easier for them."
"I'll let them sign, they'll hand it back, and I'll hand it right back and say 'also here' and keep doing that."
"They either catch the hint and let me circle it or get mad and say something snarky about me, just showing them instead of waiting."
"I always tell them, with a smile (because of professionalism), 'I'm sorry, I tried, but you took my pen.'"
"It's become my biggest pet peeve to have people grab things from my hands." ~ BackgroundSquare6179
"NTA, I had a coworker who did that."
"I just started taking back, calmly, even food, sometimes by holding my hand out and saying please don’t snatch xxxxxx."
"I sounded like a broken record, but when she told me she wasn’t my kid, I simply told her, 'I know because if you were, you would know snatching things from others is rude and shouldn’t be done.'"
"She stomped off."
"A couple told me I should have let it go, but I told them they can let her disrespect them, but I feel basic manners are important in a work environment." ~ RoguesAngel
"You should have made him clean up the WHOLE thing."
"Start carrying around a little spray bottle of water and hose him down every time he grabs something out of your hands."
"Or scream like you've been stabbed."
"Or yell 'I F**KING TOLD YOU NOT TO TAKE THINGS OUT OF MY HANDS, YOU STUPID SMALL MAN, DO YOU NEED IT WRITTEN ON YOUR HANDS?!'"
"At top volume in front of the whole office. Seriously."
"I would have told H[uman] R[esources] to bring him down for some personal space training long before that."
"Dude even tried to make it seem like YOUR problem? Nah."
"He has zero respect and doesn't care one bit about your comfort or things." ~ BungleBums
"NTA. The fact that he got all pissy about it says it is the genial absentmindedness or good-natured; it’s a power play for him."
"Snatch items back, don’t let go when he tries to grab something from you… You could even wait till you see him doing something and snatch something from his hands to use yourself." ~ LoopyMercutio
"Wait, he's 58 and doing this?"
"I get it's ultimately harmless, but still disrespectful."
"I'm going to go with NTA."
"Filling out the form situation is probably the worst offense here."
"I'd probably overreact myself if this happened to me. "
"Work is such a fast-paced environment anymore, and only continues to get harder; this would've grinded my gears pretty bad." ~ Mistakenfrog
"I'm the same age as George. "
"If George did it to me, I'd be slapping his hands and grabbing it back. "
"I'm not saying that that's the correct thing to do, but I would still do it. NTA." ~ resigned_medusa
George is out of line and out of control.
Getting HR involved may be a good idea.
Good Luck.
