As humans with complex, emotional needs, it stands to reason that we also have different beliefs.
While it’s okay that we don’t all believe the same things, some differing views may have a difficult time coexisting under the same roof, agreed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
When he and his wife were expecting their first child, Redditor ThrowawayNZ1997 let their tenants know, understanding that they might not want to live with a newborn baby.
When one of their tenants actively started shaming them for having a baby, the Original Poster (OP) didn’t know what else to do but evict them.
He asked the sub:
“AITA for kicking out a very vocal child-free flatmate after my wife got pregnant?”
The OP and his wife had two roommates to help with rent.
“My wife (24 Female) and I (29 Male) bought our own house a couple of years ago and got two flatmates in to help pay the mortgage.”
There are two bedrooms and an en-suite for us to use, and one bedroom each with a shared bathroom for the two flatmates.”
“One flatmate ‘Alex’ pretty much keeps to herself, and the other one ‘Kaitlin’ (32 Female) is quite strongly opinionated and much more social. Kaitlin is also child-free and occasionally very vocal about it (as in, it’s not constant, but when something child-related comes up she will interject without fail).”
The couple recently announced they were having a baby.
“Anyway, my wife and I were finally successful in conceiving and decided to tell both of our flatmates three months into the pregnancy.”
“We chose three months as we didn’t want to announce it to anyone too early in case of a miscarriage, but also wanted to give flatmates plenty of time to find somewhere else if they (understandably) didn’t want to live with a newborn.”
“In the end, both said they wanted to stay flatting with us as the location is good and the house is a new build (most houses in my country are cold and damp turn-of-the-century wooden cottages).”
But one roommate started giving the couple unwanted attention.
“Anyway, almost immediately after this Kaitlin begins making snide remarks about our soon-to-be child. Things like she should get a discount on rent for putting up with a baby, she’s not going to get any sleep with a baby in the house, we should have told them we were trying, etc.”
“At first, my wife just brushed these off, though I did have a word with Kaitlin that they’re not appreciated.”
“Since then, the snide remarks became more frequent and rude, e.g., calling us selfish for bringing a child into the world, saying our social lives are going to be over, etc.”
The OP finally had to take action.
“After a couple of months of this, I decided that I didn’t want to put up with this kind of negativity in what will be a very stressful (but also special) time of my life.”
“I consulted with my wife and with her support have decided to kick Kaitlin out of our house.”
“As a flatmate without a formal signed rental agreement, she actually has no tenancy rights in my country, though I still opted to give her a month to find a new place as a sign of good faith.”
“Kaitlin is throwing a hissy fit, saying I’m being unfair. She thinks that since she pays rent, she should have a say in the direction of the household and that we were selfish for having a kid without even telling flatmates.”
“Alex is on the fence though has expressed that I’m being a bit unfair to Kaitlin.”
“My wife as I said fully supports me though she’s less annoyed by her behavior than myself if I’m being honest.”
“So yeah, AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some said while they too would move out, the roommate’s remarks made her the AH.
“For context, I’m childfree and I will never share a living space with a child.”
“Kaitlin is an a**hole. You are not being unfair whatsoever. The idea that she should have a say in your family planning choices is unhinged. Kick her out. NTA.” – EGrass
“NTA for OP. I personally don’t want children, but I’m happy for others if they announce being pregnant. I would totally go buy baby gifts for them.”
“But honestly, I would also move out with a child in the house, if told for the first time, and be nice about it.”
“So can your roommate. She got asked. Starting to be mean like that is so not okay and I’m glad they told her to move out because my concern here… she could be mean to the newborn. Even physically!” – queen_tabby
“I’m confused about Kaitlin’s stance. Six months is a very generous notice.”
“I’m child-free and don’t really like spending time around children/babies, I generally don’t do it. But if my roommates were like, ‘Yo, we’re expecting,’ I’d like like, ‘Congrats, cool, when is the due date, I’ll try to be out by then.'”
“I would not stick around and what, like try to talk them out of having a baby? Maybe Kaitlin was hoping they’d get sick of her and move out themselves?”
“Also, how do you live with a couple who is married and possibly talking about having kids one day and then be all surprised when they are having a kid?”
“OP says when they talk about child-related things, she brings up her child-free life, so I wonder if it’s like, ‘Oh, look at those crayons for children, I like this tv ad,’ or is it more like, ‘Those crayons are dangerous, we wouldn’t let our kids eat those,’ in which case it implies they want kids one day so what the f**k is Kaitlin smoking that she thought they’d be child-free like her?”
“Totally NTA and WTF.” – UnderwearLair
“I was in Kaitlin/Alex’s position myself a few years ago. Renting a room from friends who announced they were pregnant. I decided to move out and it was pretty mutual. They needed the space.”
“I didn’t want to live in a house with a newborn baby. I don’t hate kids or babies, I just want to live somewhere quiet. I wasn’t snide or rude about it and we’re still friends today. OP was more than fair, just as my friends were. NTA.” – DrWhoop87
“No reason to reduce the rent, you and your wife have notified them about the pregnancy and given them options and time to move or stay if they choose. This is your house so it’s your choice, they are the renters, like it or leave it.”
“Personally, I would also remove her from the house. The fact you asked her to stop the comments and she just doubled down and kept going means she’ll be even worse once the child is there, which will be stressful enough having someone being a b***h and complaining about your life choices is really unneeded.”
“Easier to remove the problem now and either seek a new flatmate or choose to have only the one depending on your financial requirements. NTA.” – RainCastle77
Others confirmed the roommate had no say in who would live in the house.
“Her renting in the house gives her ZERO say in your reproductive organs… sheesh.”
“And she’s NOT child-free. She’s anti-child. There’s a distinction there. NTA.” – Throwawayhater3343
“If she is this annoying now, she is going to be an absolute nightmare when the baby is in the house as social dynamic/day-to-day living WILL fundamentally change for you and this will impact her.”
“You’re doing yourselves and her a favor by getting her out now, instead of dealing with that mess at what will be a beautiful but stressful full time. And giving notice is fair too.”
“Also, she clearly sounds deluded to think she has any say in you and your wife’s decisions because she rents a room!”
“PS, NTA.” – mness_1201
“So, because she pays rent she feels she should have a say in your… family planning?”
“Best joke I heard in years. She seems to be taking crazy pills.”
“NTA, obviously.” – u399566
“Kaitlin, to bus driver: I paid to ride this bus. Now drive where I tell you to, I don’t care if it’s not on your route!”
“Kaitlin, to chef at vegan restaurant: Go get me a steak. I’m a paying customer so you should have consulted me about what is on your menu!”
“Ah the mind, it boggles…” – EinsTwo
“How is OP actually unfair? He gave her the choice to stay or not, and it would have given her 6 months before the baby arrives. She decides to stay.”
“Then she starts injecting her opinion where it’s not wished. And now she has a surprise Pikachu face that people don’t want her in the house anymore. And somehow Alex is on the fence? Jeez.”
“NTA.” – ilja1995
The subReddit was really surprised by the gall of this roommate who not only thought she had some kind of say about the house she didn’t own, but that she thought her snide comments would somehow make a difference.