Starting a marriage off with a lie, even a little white diamond lie, may not be the best idea.
Trust is an essential element in a marriage.
And marriage jewelry is no joke.
So why not be honest up front?
Truth always finds a way out.
And when it has to be uncovered and not just told, chaos ensues.
Case in point…
Redditor dadof2throwWay wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for telling my sister it’s ridiculous to divorce someone who gave her a fake ring?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
I (23 F[emale]) have an older sister (29 F) who is married to my B[rother] I[n] L[aw].”
“My BIL seems to genuinely love her and they have never shown a sign of a failing relationship.”
“That was of course until yesterday when my sister phoned me while crying heavily.”
“I asked her what was wrong and she told me her friend who was a jeweler was suspicious of the ring my BIL gave to her.”
“And urged her to confirm the material of the ring.”
“My sister continued and told me that the results showed that the ring was not made from diamond, but in fact moissanite.”
“She told me she didn’t tell her husband yet.”
“But she is considering a divorce because she thought that my BIL didn’t really love her.”
“Even though he supposedly had enough money (I don’t know how much money he has so as of now I can’t really confirm if he did or did not have the money).”
“I told her it was pretty ridiculous to only divorce my BIL just because he bought her a fake ring.”
“She sarcastically told me something along the lines of ‘Thanks for being so helpful’ before hanging up.”
“I get she was in an emotional moment, but love shouldn’t revolve around a ring.”
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared our OP WAS the A**hole, but many also feel differently.
It’s a tricky situation.
Let’s hear some thoughts…
“INFO: Do you know if he actually lied to her about what the ring was made of?”
“Moissanite is not fake, engagements ring in that material still cost at least nine hundred dollars.”
“So I would say NTA if she made an assumption that it was diamond, but YTA if he had convinced her it was diamond.”
“Edit: Oh Lord, of course the one time I get top vote is the one I can’t really decide on.”
“To be honest this greatly depends on whether BIL lied to sis about the ring or if he was duped and we still don’t know that yet.”
“I think I gotta say light YTA.”
“Now, you’re not WRONG per se, but you should have approached it differently.”
“I think of this kind of like how you should almost never say I told you so, it’s just not helpful or constructive.”
“She just found out that her ring was not what she thought it was and while I agree that her mind jumping straight to divorce was a bit strange.”
“He was trying to confide in you and you shut her down and invalidated why she was upset.”
“Which I don’t think was just about the ring but that it’s possible BIL lied to her about it.”
“It is very unusual for a diamond ring to be that cheap so someone should have figured something was off.”
“Perhaps you should have encouraged her to figure out BIL’s side of the story and get to the bottom of what happened before thinking of divorce just yet.” ~ TheAshenDemon4
“Moissanite rings can easily be over $1000, and the stones are far more beautiful than the real thing and just as hard.”
“I’ve told my B[oy]F[riend] I WANT moissanite or other stones for the ring because I know I’d be pissed if he spent more than $500 lol.”
“We’re saving up and trying to make REAL investments like a home for our daughter to grow up in, and a college fund for her.”
“Not a rock that has no resale value or actual worth.”
“Obviously IF he lied that’s wrong, but there shouldn’t have been a proposal at all if she insists she cant love some one for the rest of her life without a diamond ring.”
“I feel bad for the guy either way.” ~ InfectedAlloy88
“Another thing I haven’t seen considered so far.”
“There has been a slew of fake diamond rings sold by jewelers over the past 10 years.”
“There’s tons of articles on it including some big name jeweler retails.”
“Maybe ops husband really thought it was a diamond?”
“I can tell you for a fact I had my wife’s appraised by 2 separate jewelers before I purchased it.”
“But most people don’t do that.”
“And think just because it says diamond on paperwork it’s diamond.”
“Honestly OP’s sis should ask the husband to show the paperwork.”
“If it says diamond. Believe him, but sue that company if it’s still around.”
“Also op NTA.” ~ Budget_Individual393
“What an asinine thing to proclaim.”
“It just shows how incredibly materialistic your sister is.”
“The fact that she ran to you to tell you that he proposed with a DIAMOND and that is cost OVER A THOUSAND DOLLARS.”
“I wonder how she would even know that?”
“If she actually asked her fiancé, she is even more despicable and he should have kicked her to the curb that moment.”
“He is better off without her.” ~ kimariesingsMD
“I will say YTA.”
“Now, I think your sis is real greedy for only accepting a diamond ring and using it as a measurement on her partner’s love.”
“But she has every right to be upset that she was deceived and feel betrayed that someone she cares about did that to her.” ~ eAshenDemon4
“I’m hijacking the top comment because I’ve read through at least half the comments here and have yet to see anyone mention the ‘friend’ who is a ‘jeweler’ who was so concerned about the ring she was pushing for sister to get an appraisal.”
“What ‘friend’ does something like that?”
“A happy marriage of several years standing and you somehow feel that the engagement ring composition is both your business and critical enough to stick your oar in?”
“This reeks to me of a created entity in order to justify the appraisal as a way to form a grievance.”
“Something is up with sister and the marriage. In any case, NTA.” ~ Catinthemirror
“She needs to ascertain that he was not, himself, lied to.”
“Your BIL is not a jeweler, after all.”
“Because it’s not really about the ring, it’s about the potential lie.”
“A ring is important symbolism for a lot of people (and not for others, and that’s fine, too), so lies about something like that can hurt far beyond merely any material impact.”
“YTA. This warrants her having a conversation with her husband before making any firm decisions, but she’s not ‘ridiculous’ for being quite upset in the moment.” ~ PinkNGreenFluoride
“I’m really into Pokémon cards and there are some proxy’s that are super hard to spot.”
“If someone knowingly gifted me a fake and I had been treasuring as part of my collection, only to find out they intentionally lied to me, I would be upset.”
“The fact that he can lie about their ring, which is supposed to be a symbol of his commitment and loyalty to her, is the problem.”
“Too many people are jumping on her saying she’s a gold digger.”
“But we all have something that we’re into that we value and if our spouse lied to us about that, we would be upset as well. YTA.” ~ no_rxn
“I don’t think that the issue is whether the ring is real or fake.”
“I think that the issue is whether or not he lied to her.”
“YTA for failing to understand.” ~ Individual_Ad_9213
“YTA. I don’t care about jewelry like that.”
“But I’d be pretty pissed off if I found out my partner had decided to kick off our marriage by lying to me.”
“It might not be a deal breaker for you but as you have said, you don’t know their situation.”
“You don’t know what conversations they may have had around the ring or what other things may be at play but I guarantee, if there are other things going on in her marriage, your sister will not tell you them now.”
“In the future, especially in emotionally charged situations.”
“Make sure to ask someone if they’re venting or looking for feedback before you say anything.” ~ GoblinOfficial
“YTA… As someone else said it is not about fake vs real it’s that he lied about the ring.”
“Not telling her what it was because she didn’t ask and made an assumption is lying by omission.”
“I bet anything this is not the first thing he has lied about and your sister is over it.” ~ Cubadog
Well OP, Reddit is a bit all over with this one.
But remember… not your marriage.
Maybe BIL doesn’t know the ring is fake.
Time will tell.