Weddings are known for inducing so much stress. The planning and arrangements can take their toll on anyone.
But Redditor MadMOH2710 isn’t sure if everything that happens under the stress of planning a wedding is justifiable. The original poster (OP) gets into a fight with her best friend and isn’t sure if she overreacted.
So she takes her story to the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for some perspective.
OP asks the board:
“AITA for refusing to be my best friend’s MOH after she told me my fiancé is not invited to the wedding???”
Why does OP’s friend not want OP’s fiancé at the wedding?
“I’ve been dating my fiancé for 10 years and we’re expecting a baby which is due in March. We’ll elope before the baby arrives for legal reasons but we’ll do it in January so we’ll be able to organise a small party for family and close friends, no more than 20 people.”
“My best friend and her future husband will be invited though.”
“So straight to the point. My best friend is getting married in a month. She’s been with her fiancé for a year and they got engaged within 6 months.”
“Personally that’s too rushed in my opinion but that’s her life so if she believes this is the right man this is her decision.”
“Once they got engaged around April, she asked me to be her MOH. She then started telling me the plans about how she plans on having a huge celebration with 200+ guests (vaccination rates are very high in my country and most restrictions are eased since cases are also very low).”
“Naturally I assumed my fiancé would be invited, my best friend has known him for 10 years and they’re also friendly. Most of our friends are married so their spouses get an automatic invite.”
Here’s where things go wrong.
“I assumed my fiancé would be invited too but my bff decided to notify me that he’s not invited, literally yesterday during a chat we had and I told her about the suit my fiancé bought. She told me ‘Ummm I never told you X is invited though?’, I asked her what she meant by that.”
“She said that only married and long term couples are invited to the wedding. I reminded her, I’m engaged to that man, we’re expecting a kid together and I’ve been with him for 10 years, while we’re also planning to get eloped in few months.”
“She objected and said she didn’t invite him because she doesn’t see our relationship as valid if it took us so long to make our relationship legal and how if we’ve been waiting 10 years to take the next step then our relationship bond is probably not that strong. Told her that that’s not her decision to make and she doesn’t get to decide whether my relationship is valid or not.”
“She insisted on her decision and said ‘I’ll not invite him, I decide who comes and who doesn’t, and since I don’t think your relationship is as strong as it should be, you may break up soon and I don’t want an ex existing in my wedding pictures. Accept it or leave, I am not in a mood to deal with that drama’.”
“I told her she’s being ridiculous assuming that we might break up based on her bizarre beliefs and reminded her I’ve been with that man for 10 years while she’s been with her man for less than one year and she is ridiculous for thinking she can dictate who’s serious and who isn’t.”
“I told her I’m dropping the moh role because I refuse to be disrespected like that and told her she can search for someone new to torture but not me.”
“Our mutual friends have told me I’m TA for dropping out of the wedding and how I should respect the bride’s decision. I respect it but I won’t be a part of it. AITA????”
OP is understandably upset, but her friend gets to choose who to invite to her wedding or not, right? Is OP at fault for dropping out of the wedding?
To find out, Reddit commenters judge OP by including one of the following in their response:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
OP’s friend has some strange ideas over what makes a solid relationship or not. While she’s more than allowed to choose who comes to her wedding, she shouldn’t be surprised that OP doesn’t want to participate anymore.
Redditors agreed that OP doesn’t owe her friend anything in this situation.
“NTA- Holy sh** that’s a bridezilla and a terrible friend. Like seriously, who does that to your supposedly best friend, honestly after that kind of disrespect I’m surprised your still going to the wedding.” – DeathGP
“I don’t think I’ll go after this. If I go I’ll attend for a couple of hours for the sake of it and then leave.” – MadMOH2710 (OP)
“She sounds like an idiot who may have a secret issue with your fiance.”
“She has the right to her opinion, and you have the right to yours. She can’t expect you to accept the bullsh** excuse that after 10+ years of commitment, her piece of paper validates her relationship more than yours.” – curious_seahorse1
“Wow, big NTA. By this account, she seems to have some different motive for not wanting your fiance to come but does not want to admit the true reason.”
“She backpetaled when you pointed out that you are in a long term relationship. She is not being a good friend, and ultimately a wedding should be celebrating the people in your life.”
“This is speculation, but I wonder if she wants a single MOH to ensure all concentration from you is on her and the wedding? Or, more spiralling and worse speculation, I wonder if she’s projecting her insecurities? Neither of these your place to say, but both do happen.” – cheltsie
“NTA. I was ready to say YTA until I heard the brides reasoning.”
“I can pretty much guarantee that you’ll still be with your fiancé when she’s burning those wedding photos after her divorce.”
“I’m a firm believer that the couple should decide who is invited to their wedding but that doesn’t mean she gets to trash your relationship which personally I think she is only doing to justify how quickly she is getting married.
“Sounds like she’s very insecure but you are better off far away from someone like that!” – Suspicious_Safety_45
It may be little consolation for OP that internet strangers think she’s right. She still has to deal with the possible fallout from her fight with her friend.
OP can at least take solace in her stable relationship.