A healthy attitude about sex can lead to better overall health.
When a person isn’t hung up on puritanical ideals, they’re more likely seek and use whatever tools are available to help them stay healthy. Those tools now include apps.
But when one woman decided to use an app to stay happy and healthy, her friend took exception. So she turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for some feedback.
Redditor goldennbroken asked:
“AITA for tracking my intimate habits?”
“I (21F) have an app that tracks my periods, it gives me all the info you can probably imagine that an app like that does.”
“My friend (21F) asked me for a recommendation for an app like that, because tracking them by hand was getting annoying for her.”
“I showed her what I use and she asked: ‘what are those hearts for?’”
“Me: ‘Oh, I mark those down for when I have sex’.”
“She told me that it’s weird I track those things.”
“In my defense, I told her that it helps me not freak out about potential pregnancy scares and it’s not hurting anyone. Once again if anything, it helps me.”
“Her: ‘It weird that you remember the times you sleep with [the guy] and he would also be confused’.”
“Me: ‘I mean I’m not going to tell him! Why are you being so weird about this?’”
“I was just trying to help her with her period since she asked me. My friend then said that I need to tell the guy and I see no reason for that.”
“It’s not like we finish and I pull up my phone to click ‘got laid today’.”
Redditors cast their judgment by declaring she was:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Far from condemning her, people thought it was an ingenious use of the app’s capabilities.
“NTA, your friend is being stupid. In fact, those trackers are really useful, and I do the same thing.” ~ ivi15
“I do the same thing for the opposite reason, i.e. trying to get pregnant. Totally not weird. NTA.” ~ maybeanne
“I’d only ever seen friends who were TTC (trying to conceive) use those apps for the purpose of tracking sexual activity, mostly because it helps determine a conception date and many of those kinds of apps will read out approx. data/facts about the fetal development i.e. ‘your baby is about the size of a kiwi at X weeks’ or ‘at this stage, your baby can hear you talking’ etc.”
“But I think OP’s use of it to prevent pregnancy is really clever and cool! Period tracking apps are great for identifying health concerns as well.”
“I don’t really see why anyone could consider OP TA when she is being proactive with her reproductive health. I wish apps like that were around when I was diagnosed with [polycystic ovary syndrome] (PCOS) because it would’ve made it feel a lot more normalized, common and I’d have better access to information!” ~ _HappyG_
“I use mine for my mental health. It tracks moods, foods, vag stuff, sex activity, exercise, all of it.”
“It helps me spot patterns that help me know when things might go south for me, mentally, so I can take preventative steps. And I have a lot of friends who do the same kind of tracking, none of us have or will have kids.”
“We just want to know our own bodies.”
“The idea that only people trying for a baby need to be in touch with their bodies rankles me, as a childfree woman.”
“My health matters. My body’s rhythms are important even if I’m not growing anyone.” ~ mellow-drama
“I use to predict my irregular periods because of [polycystic ovarian disease] (PCOD). After two years of using it, the apps almost gives me accurate prediction.”
“These apps really helps to avoid pregnancy scares and to get pregnant by calculating the ovulation dates.” ~ Hardwiredbrain
Since the friend’s concerns were about the OP’s sexual partners, men weighed in to address those concerns.
They didn’t understand what the problem was either.
“NTA Even as a guy nothing about this strikes me as particularly unusual and your reasoning makes perfect sense.”
“It’s also pretty responsible birth control. Her reaction is odd.” ~ YorkPepperMintPaddy
“I’m a guy also and nothing strikes me as creepy, weird, strange, concerning, etc.”
“Based on the title, I thought it was going down the road of the guy who tracked his sex life with his wife in a spreadsheet.”
“He was doing it for a negative reason. I don’t see any indication of bad intentions in OP’s example.” ~ akatherder
“An ex did this when we were together. I asked what the pink dots were on her calendar, she told me, and I didn’t think about it again until just now.”
“Complete and total non-issue.” ~ Loveurneighbor
People felt the friend was the one being weird.
“NTA – She’s being a weirdo and immature.” ~ SKY_W1TCH
“Yes, very immature. It’s like she thinks sex is naughty and you shouldn’t be writing down when it happens! Gasp!”
“In actuality it’s incredibly useful to keep track of for health reasons, even outside of trying to get pregnant. NTA.” ~ VCWCVW
“Well, what if God saw the book? Sex for entertainment and not exclusively reproduction???!!! An eternity of hell for you, my friend!! *sarcasm*” ~ slightlysentient
“NTA, she’s being weird. They literally have that function in period tracker apps because most sexually active women using apps like that want to track that kinda thing! It’s an important part of your sexual health!” ~ Unfriendly-Lime
When it comes to our personal health, there’s no such thing as too much information. The OP has Reddit’s support to collect and document as much she wants.