People often speak to their friends about wanting a more attentive romantic partner.
So a 28-year-old woman was shocked when her friends told her her boyfriend was too attentive to her needs. Not sure if they were right, she turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback.
Redditor AITA-defendingmybf asked:
“AITA for defending my boyfriend when my friends called him ‘creepy’?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“So I (28f) got into a little fight with my friends during a video call and I just want some outside perspectives.”
“Pretext, I’ve been with my boyfriend (25m) for a little over 2 years now and I’m perfectly happy in our relationship.”
“I was on a video call with a few of my [female] friends (ranging in age from 28-31) and one of my friends (31) was complaining about her husband’s (35) attitude towards menstrual products.”
“Apparently, the dude absolutely refuses to get her pads or tampons and they got into a fight the other day when she left a used tampon in the bin.”
“We were all trying to support her in her issues since that has to suck being in a relationship with someone like that. I was the only other person in a relationship so she asked me if my boyfriend is like this, and if it’s just a man thing.”
“So I told them my boyfriend is completely fine with all that, he grew up being the only male (father bailed, so 3 sisters, his mom, and him) and even buys me more when he notices I’m running low.”
“Well, they all started attacking him, saying they thought he was being creepy for paying enough attention to buy me more products when he notices I’m running low.”
h”Things like ‘oh wow, I thought he was an okay guy, but now he just sounds creepy’ and ‘wow major creep vibes, I barely pay enough attention and often times need to run and get more myself’.”
“To say the least, I was pretty confused. So I shot back ‘so it’s creepy to have an attentive significant other? He’s the one who mainly does the shopping (I don’t have a license) and I personally appreciate that he does, since I also forget sometimes, y’all wildin, maybe you just need to find better men in your lives’.”
“We kept arguing for about another 30 minutes, them still thinking my boyfriend’s a creep, and it’s one thing if I asked him to buy me more products, but that he goes ahead and just buys me what I need is ‘creepy’ since ‘why’s he paying so much attention anyways??’.”
“To answer that question, it’s because I keep my products in the same place we keep our toilet paper, so he probably just checks to see if I may need more.”
“I just don’t know anymore, is it creepy?”
“I just appreciate it. AITA?”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was definitely not the a**hole.
“NTA. Your friends need to make up their minds: do they want period supplies treated as something that men should never have to go anywhere near, or do they want them normalized?”
“Because putting them in the same category as ‘oh, we’re running low on toilet paper; I’d better pick up some more’ is far more in line with the latter.” ~ mm172
“NTA. Your boyfriend does the shopping and is considerate enough to look around and see if any of the products your household needs on a regular basis are running low.”
“There’s nothing creepy about that.”
“Now is a good time to examine your relationship with your friends. I’ve had to end some friendships because after knowing them for years I realized what we shared was complaining.”
“They reveled in finding fault with everyone and everything. Your friends sound the same.”
“Keep the boyfriend, get better friends who don’t insist on seeing the negative in everything.” ~ LakotaGrl
“This is the part that gets me. He does the shopping.”
“So I assume he checks around the house for supplies they are low on and makes a list too. Low on TP? Add it to the list.”
Low on rice? Add it to the list. Low on tampons? ADD IT TO THE LIST.”
“They’re non perishable goods that she will definitely use eventually. It just makes sense to pick them up.”
“It’s not like he’s keeping a period tracker for her to manipulate her mood swings or something.” ~ cflatjazz
“They also live together—so I feel like it wouldn’t be creepy even if he did know her cycle. If you live together with someone for long enough, you might notice those things without even really trying.” ~ LightObserver
“Hell I know the cycle of my closest friends because they complain about it every time. Does it mean I’m a creep for listening to them and knowing what’s up?”
“It’s not even a creepy product. It’s creepyness level isn’t higher than a toothbrush, toilet paper or damn shampoo. It’s just sh*t you need for hygiene.” ~ Shikyal
“Right! I feel like stuff like this gives men mixed signals.”
“Men being grossed out and not wanting to hear about=bad. Man dosn’t mind and even helps out=creep.”
“What do her friends want?” ~ cheese420lover
“Imagine calling an attentive and considerate boyfriend creepy.”
“These friends are either very immature or very jealous.” ~ aimeansloveinchinese
“My wife’s tampons are kept next to the toilet paper in both of our bathrooms (both need to be easily reachable when planted on the toilet).”
“It’s not hard to notice if a box is running low and to jot it down on the grocery list we keep beside the fridge.
“Didn’t realize being just the tiniest bit observant is ‘creepy’.” ~ Bukowskified
“They sound wildly immature, in my opinion. I am 30 and can’t imagine making fun of a guy for being attentive to his partner’s needs.” ~ spidersandcaffeine
“For real. ‘Wahhhh my boyfriend is so grossed out by my period’.”
“‘Well my boyfriend is ok with mine and occasionally buys me products’. ‘EWWW GROSS CREEPY’.”
“Like lmao what the f’k do you want???” ~ pessimist_kitty
“They like to complain. They don’t want a solution; they don’t want their men to change behaviors.”
“They just want to complain, and find it appalling that their friend doesn’t have to moan about her significant other.” ~ ShadyLibidine
A partner who is considerate of your needs should be celebrated. Redditors think the OP has a thoughtful partner and thoughtless friends.